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How once woman went from being a SAHM of four to a published freelance science journalist |
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I'm revising this intro after more than 15 years to better reflect my intention When I started this blog in 2004, I was a stay at home mom to two small children, a college graduate with a degree in English and Astrophysics. By 2007, I had four small children, ages newborn, 2, 4, and 6. For several years, Writing.com was how I kept my sanity. This blog began, first as a way of staying connected. Later, when I worked on a novel, I used it to stoke the writing fires as I plotted out short stories and the next step of my novel. Ultimately, I moved my writing preparation to "Invalid Item"  In 2010, I became a single mom who had homeschooled her children for several years. I had a 2, 4, 6 and 8 year old and had never had a "real" full time job, since I was married while in college. Everyone told me that I would have to buckle down and take on a "real" job. Instead, I decided to attempt to live my dream: to make it as a writer. I knew that if I didn't try then, I would never really dive in. I counted my money and set a deadline. If I hadn't began making a decent (defined) amount of money after so many months, I would suck it up and get a J-O-B. After some thought, I decided to play to my strengths. I served an internship at Sky & Telescope magazine while in college and enjoyed writing about space and astronomy. With an astrophysics degree, I thought I would be able to sell myself more easily, and a small niche should be easier to penetrate. It's been about ten years since I was first paid for an article on Space.com. In that time, writing - journalism - has been my primary moneymaker. I've often thought about setting up a blog on my website - www.astrowriter.com - but just haven't gotten around to it. There are a few things I would like to share for those who are interested in scientific journalism in general. Now that I'm back on WDC, there's no reason not to combine the two and use the site blog for that sort of interaction. There are certainly plenty of folks on this site interested in the publication process. So while I'll probably meander around some, that's the intention of of this blog: to share some of my struggles as a published journalist and to help answer oft-asked questions. |
| Yesterday's word count: 4,624 Total Word Count: 15,999 I should have written one more word yesterday, LOL. So, I really like using my blog for warmups. I get Cross Country images in my head, of stretching, etc, before going the distance. Yesterday, I was coming up short and, as you'll remember (if you read the entry), was considering leaving it as such, but decided instead to come back in the evening and finish up. I think that's what I really need to do, hold myself to it, because as you see, I got rolling and wrote an extra 600+ words. I think if I really stay focused, I can continue in that manner, thus hitting my self-inflicted, er, I mean self-imposed, goal of 20,000 words/week. It's all very numerical. Did I mention that I'm up to 28 full pages, actually on page 29? Single spaced? Okay, I know, it's the little things. Anyway, my kids are finishing up their lunch. I'm using that time to do some loose stretching, just kinda jogging in place. As soon as I cart them all upstairs, I'll switch to Calling My Muse and do a little plot pondering. Here is something to consider, though; if I am shooting for approximately 10k/section <grimace> then I'm going to need to start switching to the action, and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet. Perhaps I can start talking about the time capsule-stuff in the background. See a sign about a town-day, um, festival? I can't think of the word (for shame!) but that kind of thing. Some sort of celebration. Although who buries a time capsule for three hundred years? Perhaps it is the town's 300th anniversary...that would be pretty close to impossible. Hmmm. I'll think about it. Oh look, I skipped to plot summary. So, here is my writing problem of the day. My goal is to finish 80k in a month, so basically before Christmas (I know, I have January written down, but I decided to shift midway through; writer's perogative. (What is with my spelling lately?!) The plan right now is that the kids and I are moving out after Christmas. I am still indecisive on what to do regarding work. I really want to stay home with my kids during the week and continue homeschooling. If I do manage that, I'm going to need to earn more than I would receive from child support, even if my husband goes beyond the state minimum. I think I can make it on that - probably with a little help from either the govt or the church or a mix if needed - but that isn't a long term plan. I would like to try to find something I can do from home. I have found various things throughout the years, and I'm sure I can continue. I've also considered, if Michael takes the kids every weekend, getting a Saturday-only, fast-food type job. So if I'm going to stick with that (tight tight) plan, then I'm okay with writing. However, if I'm going to go for a "real," full-time job, and enroll my kids in school, then I need to start searching now. Writing is a fail plan. It would be nice to imagine publication and supporting myself as such, but in reality it isn't realistic. So I have to decide how much realism I am going to inject in my life. That is, do I start looking for a 40 hour a week job now, or do I keep writing and agree to exist on the necessities-only, with the hope of one day actually getting published? Because that is another point. If I can honestly write a novel in a month, well, that makes things interesting. Of course, this one has been brewing for, what, five years? So I've had a lot of time to consider various points. On the other hand, if I actually complete it, my confidence in my ability to do it will be significantly higher. Actually, if I finish the novel, I'll know I can do it. If nothing else, it will encourage me to do it again, and my second one can only be better, right? But for now, I'm off to work with my muse about the next few steps, and then I'm going to write like a mad, er, madwoman. I'm determined to hit my 4k goal every day. I'm posting to be accountable. And I'm hoping to get it done. edited to add: 2,416 words so far, and it's 2:30. I'm working slower today. Of course, I spent while trying to figure out one of the action scenes. Still, it took me about an hour and a half to do that. But, it took me about 45 minutes to hit 500 words. It's kind of funny; sometimes I go slow, then sometimes a rapid burst of speed. Anyway, I'm on page 33, so about 3 more pages to go, but I will probably get distracted because we're almost to one of the big action scenes. Let me say this. I was trying to figure out how to make this whole thing work, how to get Caroline to trust Jonathan. I was playing with it in my brainstorming blog, right? I had this kind of nebulous, foggy idea of what I wanted to do but I wasn't sure how to make it work out. Then, all of a sudden, it all came together, and it did so in a way that solved another problem I was having. Those are the moments I just love writing. When everything comes out smooth, and you're going, ah, that's how it's going to work. Everything fits like a puzzle, like it was meant to go together. It's indescribable. It left me on such a writer's high, it was amazing. That's when I really went to town, I think. So anyway, I have 20 minutes before my kids get up from their nap. I'm in the middle of my action scene. The kids will be going outside after naptime, so I'll have some quiet time (ugh, it's rainy, I don't know how long it will last), so I'm going to take a little bit of down time and read a little bit. Like 20 minutes. I just need to detach myself. I'm not actually in my action scene, just close, but I should be able to pick it up fast. If I fail to get it written, well, I will have to stay off of WoW tonight until it gets done. I'm doing pretty good at hitting my goals, and I'm going to continue to do it, especially now that it looks like the novel is going to take more than 80k words. That means it will take longer to write.  Maybe not, though. Just because I have a 4k goal doesn't mean I have to stop when I hit it, right? Like yesterday, when I hit 4.6k. And I have a real feeling that I'm going to hit the 4k today in the middle of the action scene, and I already know I'm not going to stop until I get done. "Oh look, Jonathan and Caroline are rescuing someone, I guess I'll just stop for the day." Nope. I'm going to finish, and then I will probably wrap up the emotional post-crap, as well. But for now, breaktime. |
| Yesterday's Word Count: 0 Saturday's Word Count: 2,020 Total Word Count: 11,345 Hmm. So yesterday was Sunday, so I didn't write. Between that and Friday, things are looking a little sloppy. Saturday's word count was minimal, but as I think I said in my last post, I got a *lot* of replotting done; I did 1,200 words over in my plotting journal trying to hammer out details, which I am going to have to reread to get me on track. My blog entry today is something of a writing warm-up; in fact, that's basically what these all are. Anyway, it's naptime, everyone is down until 3, and then they'll be outside until 4. I'm transferring some of the things I came up with into my notebook, where it's more organized (I have one page for each section), but it is giving me a headache. Things like, well Jonathan sees something that gives him an idea on what to do in his future, but it's Caroline's past so why when they discuss it doesn't she say, yes, we've discussed that already? I guess they are both very conscious of the paradox issue, but they have to get confused on occasion. I can't be the only one confused here. Anyway, that is strictly plotting stuff. I did a word count google and found the "go for it" suggestion for a novel is around 80,000 words, if you want to be published. That is kind of daunting. I mean, 40k is an "official" novel but the regular publishing numbers seem to be higher. That's fine. I was counting sections, and I've already got 10k for the introduction. I figure if I write about 10k for each of the next five sections, and another 10k for the last one, that's 70,000 words, which should come in close. And I have also noticed that I am dialogue heavy and action light; I need to fix that and flesh it out but I'm not going to worry so much about it right now. But fleshing out all of the sections should increase the word count; if it ups it by a thousand words a section, well, that's 77k, so that's totally doable. In terms of writing: I'd really like to see myself hitting 20,000 words a week. That is a-crazy-lot. I figure a five day week, since I don't write on Sunday and there will be odd-times where I, like, spend time with my family (Thanksgiving this Thursday, for instance), but that's about 4,000 words/day. That is doable, I think, if I don't spend a ton of time plotting. That's my only concern. But I am okay with that. I think I am going to hold myself to 4k words/day, and not let myself do "random" things (I will not mention the fact that I am a Warcraft fanatic in this blog) until I hit that goal. And if I miss WoW, I miss it. If I can honestly get this novel finished in a month, I will be happy. Finished being written, that is. Then I can take another month - or two weeks - to revise and edit. Actually, as I said before, I think I'll find the best section to send out, and start sending, and then polish afterward. So I'm only going to give myself maybe a week on that section, and then I'm hitting the mailbox. I'll make crucial decisions after that point - like, editor or agent? But I refuse to think about that right now. <sticks fingers in ears> So, for today, I am aiming for 4,000 words. That would put my total writing at 15,000 words for the novel. I can do that. I think I can knock out half of this section, probably the whole "getting adjusted to and trusting Jonathan" thing. I need to determine how to drag it out some more, though. I mean, basically...eh plotting. I'll switch in a second. But I can do 4k words in three hours, I believe in it. Of course, I have to go do a little bit of prep work, so I'll head over to "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor and take care of it now. No more than 30 mts, and I can probably make it on 15. Maybe less, actually, I have to re-read what I did Saturday.edited to add: I am now officially stalling. Okay, it is strange. At some points, I check my word count and it is slooooow. But then sometimes it is fast. After half an hour, I had written (no joke) about 500 words. After an hour and twenty minutes, I had written 1,989 words. So in less than an hour, I wrote three times as much. ?? How does that even happen? The sad thing is, I am stalling. But you know what? If this was a full-time job, I would have a break. Although I didn't start writing until 1:30, I sat down at the laptop at 1 to put myself in the mood. So that's almost two hours. I think I'm going to get up, walk around, and stretch. It looks like I should be able to hit my goal in close to another hour and a half, that would be 4:30. I think that is managable, especially since it's left over night.  So I'm going to take a seven minute break, do nothing, maybe read a little? I think I'll read a chapter of the Three Musketeers and then come back and write some more. I'm rather impressed with myself (I know, sad), that I've gotten so much done today. I just have to do it again. And, did I mention that I am loving this? I forgot how much I love writing. This is the longest I have written in a long time, even back when I was writing consistently, it was all short stories. I'm on 24 single-spaced pages. It's freaking mind-boggling to me. And I am loving it. Even if all the computer time is monotonous.edited to add: First, I'm stalling. Second, this would have worked significantly better if Caroline had also skipped around in time. Of course, that would have negated the need for her project, and thus I would've had to come up with another motive. But they could've gotten older. But also, I would be dead now from the brain hemorrhage that would have occurred. Alright, I'm good. I am really stalling right now. This whole no-trust thing is a real pain. I just want to yell at Caroline, get over it! LOL But also, I have to string it out, because this is a big thing, and Caroline overanalyzes. Anyway, at the moment, I'm up to 2,757 words, cruising, if I would stop getting distracted. ARGH. edited to add: Alright, it is 7 o'clock, the kids are heading to bed. I'm trying to decide if I am going to write the last three hundred words - really 250, which is only, like, half a page. I mean, really, why shouldn't I? So I'm doing some warmups - enter blog - trying to limber up. I don't actually think I like where I left them, but I think I'm going to mess with that on the edit. It does show a nice little slice of Caroline's life, although I could, as usual, do more with the setting. I could go back now and change it just a bit. I might do that, set the stage. I'm not sure how I feel about Jonathan sitting there for half an hour. Then again, it's only 150 words. Maybe I'll just delete it and have him catch her as she is leaving. That seems like a better plan, actually. I have plenty of time to set the stage for her life. They could take a walk - just what Caroline needs after being on her feet all day. But then again, Jonathan probably doesn't think about that initially. But...maybe he would. The good news is, I am not getting the crossover I worried about, in part because Jonathan was written so long ago in my head, so said crossover is minimal. Did I mention crossover here or in the novel rambling? Probably the novel rambling. Anyway, Jonathan is so old in my head - I wrote him either before or just after Jimmy was born (I think I was pregnant, so probably before), and Jimmy is four now, almost five. Wow, talk about delay fish. So, challenges to me hitting my goal. First is my tendency to delay, but second is kid distraction. Although, actually, I came so close today it is unreal. If I had gotten naptime moving sooner, or had written faster, I would have hit 4,000 words during naptime. When I was setting the goal, I was doing it emperically - that is, I wasn't certain I would make it, I wasn't certain how realistic it is. Now, I'm going to have days where I am seriously asking myself about plot points, and try to remember what Jonathan knows that I haven't written yet, but it's hard. Incidentally, if you haven't figured it out from my ramblings, here is a basic summary of the book, in one paragraph of dialogue. This is Jonathan speaking to Caroline: “But between your trip and mine, we had adjusted the machine, trying to determine how to aim it precisely. Something went wrong – I’m still not sure what – and so my trip through time is different from yours. You were sent back one time, and you’re going to continue on a regular path, as if you had been born in this time. But me, well, I skip around. About every fifty years, I disappear from whatever time I’m in and get sent to a different point. I always appear in this forest, in this clearing.” He gave a quick smile. “And you’re always here.” So basically, Caroline has been sent back in time and is traveling in a linear path towards the future, but Jonathan skips around. So her A-B-C is his B-A-C, or something. Actually, technically, her A-B-C-D-E is his um C-B-E-A-D. They are totally out of synch. That means that I am writing scenes where Jonathan has a past that I haven't written yet, because I'm following Caroline's (less confusing) perspective. And *that* is why I have a headache. Anyway, I am going to go back and write more about this distrust. I've gotten, what, 5k out of this section? I may have misinterpreted and may wind up with more than 10k words/section, which is awesome. I just have to watch that I don't go too far over that 80k, especially once I get back to the editing and adding. Of course, I'll do a lot of cutting with the editing, too; I'm vicious with the red pen. Not thinking about editing. Going to write. Although I'm changing out the last scene I wrote, deleting that 150 words, and changing it around. So if I wind up backtracking, well, don't fault me, but I am actually swearing not to get up from this computer - and not to let myself be distracted on the computer. I am so easily distracted, how sad is that? |
| Yesterday's Word Count: 0 Total Word Count: 9,326 Well, I am just going to add my excuse for yesterday. The short version is that I had a huge personal crisis - ugh, so not gonna be a divorce blog, I know I keep saying that - and basically did nothing. Not just no-writing nothing, but nothing at all. Well, I almost did something; I packed my bag and arranged for childcare for my kids and planned a road trip, but then I failed on the follow through. My friend, Mary Ann, is doing NaNoWriMo, and per her Facebook, she is close to 40,000 words. I was feeling like a slow slow slacker, but I'm actually almost a quarter of the way there. It's kind of interesting to think about. I'm not trying to be comparing or anything, but I was feeling like I really hadn't done much, because after all, my almost-10k words is all of 17 pages. Calling it 20 pages would put 40k at about 80 pages, or 160 double spaced...that doesn't seem novel-length but I suppose I am forgetting things like chapters and such. Anyway, that gives me a goal, I suppose, about 10k a week; by next Saturday, I'd like to have 20k but realistically I should have more, if I write the way I've been writing last week. We'll see how well that goes, of course, because the twisting of the time lines is going to give me a headache, I know it. Anyway, I just plotted out the next iteration of the story. I have a good beginning, and I know where I'm going to go with it. I'm not sure of exactly how to bring the hesitatency across (yes, I know I misspelled, but I'm too lazy to fix it), and how to work in the slow-building trust. And here we come to a head with the key problem with this story - too much dialogue and not enough action. I have to find some action for this section, other than simply the building of trust and the burying of the time capsule. And I still have to figure out why Caroline is in the newspaper. LOL Maybe she's a hero. Ideally, she and Jonathan would both be in the paper. I mean, it's a small town paper, how hard is it to wind up there? Not hard, I should know. In fact, maybe they just do some sort of service and then... Wait. The putting together of proof implies that Alex is going to be prosecuted and punished. But I'm still not sure that's where I want to take him. On the other hand, the idea of fixing the problem seems to come later in the novel, and so perhaps it comes later to Jonathan and Caroline. Let me go check my storyline, because if Jonathan just came from FUTURE, then he would have just seen Alex's wife...but he would only have known that if he had done the research. Something else to consider. I wanted to fit Jonathan and Caroline both with some very futuristic atomic watches, so they can keep track of the arrival to the nanosecond. But. I have to decide how "Back to the Future" I'm going to get, because Jonathan would literally be bringing back the watch that he is already wearing. And the paradox issue is giving me a headache. I was all ready to write but now I have to stop and think about that. Of course, I wanted to put two Jonathans together, so that would seem to answer the question. Perhaps they don't realize that until later, however. Okay. So I can make it work now and discuss it later. When would they discuss it? When they work out their plan. Noted. Alright, then, I think I am ready to go. I feel bad about dropping yesterday; what kind of lousy writer fails to write anything because she's having a real life breakdown? Sheesh. Priorities. edited to add: I lied. I have to hit "Invalid Item" to get some of this paradox stuff out of my system. It figures that I jinxed myself. Watch me miss 20k by next week. Boo. |
| Today's word count: 3,240 Total word count: 9,326 Don't ask me why I'm writing over here. It's strange, because I have everything plotted out but I get to this stopping point and then...I stop. I don't know what it is. So today was productive. Okay, it was only about five pages (3,240 words) productive, BUT: I recreated my original index cards with each time period and put them in order the way that I wanted them to be for Caroline, and them labeled them chronologically A-E. Then I put them in order for Jonathan and labeled them 1-5. THEN I photocopied them and put the copies in order for Jonathan and the originals in order for Caroline. Then I taped them to my mirror. THEN, I pulled out a notebook and labeled five pages with each time period, to keep track of the details. Okay, I know that doesn't actually seem very productive, but it was more than that. Also, as I said, I had lawyer things going today, and I worked on my resume this morning, so I didn't get much done then. But in terms of writing, I ironed out some wrinkles. Primarily, I plotted out the answers to several logistical problems. Answers like, why didn't Jonathan stay with Caroline and protect her? He knew what was going to happen. There had to have been something. I don't think he would just walk away when he knew what was going down. So he had to have a darned good reason. I gave him one. Now, writing it out when I get to part V is going to be a pain, I think, but by then I might have a better idea for what is happening. Okay, suddenly, I just had another idea...it has to do with "proving" what Alex did. Alex is another problem I'm having. I like him too darn much to kill him or send him to jail. Note to self: never fall for the villain. Of course, I'm not falling for him. But I made the mistake of writing that stupid Crystal Ball story, and then mentally writing the stupid initials carved into a tree story - that was freaking awful, it was just too sad to write - and now my poor widdle heart breaks for him. I should have gone with a Dean Koontz-style bad guy, pure evil. Then I could throw him to the wolves. So anyway. I'm trying to decide how to end things with him, jail, etc. I um, so I want to let the bad guy get away with it. Is that wrong? I'm thinking that's wrong. On the flip side, if Jonathan and Caroline could, you know, fix the problems...I'm lapsing into my muse self, sorry. Anyway, although the writing was minimal - did you see I put a daily word count and a total word count up top? - the plotting was massive. And the redecorating rocked. I really like the idea of pins because I can take the cards off when I need them, but something about trying to sell the house with holes in the wall...I dunno. But I have a corkboard around here somewhere... My friend Adam - the one who was all, quit hanging out with me and go write - told me that I should work on my novel instead of getting a job. So here's the thing. I'm pulled in two ways. I kind of touched on this earlier with the whole homeschooling thing. Reasonably and responsibly, I should go get a job now. If nothing else, even if it's crap pay, McDonalds/Walmart, I can put some money away for myself and my kids. For a buffer. I have to love Adam, he told me that if I can get the novel cranked out, well, surely I can get it published and get paid. It's nice to have someone who believes in me. I don't think he realizes how long the publication process takes if everything goes well - you know, if you don't get dumped in the slush pile, if someone actually reads past your cover letter, if someone gets through all of the people who tell the editor "my mom and my girlfriend and my english tchr all sayed I was a good righter." You know, them. So I'm writing, and I'm loving it, and I have this whole thing in my head, and I'm trying not to think about publication and money and stuff. So here's the thing. After Christmas, I am moving out of my house, with four kids. I originally gave myself 60 days but I don't really think I even have that. The good side is, I can get a job at Walmart, or McDonalds, or (preferably) a bank or something and make a little money. I think adding that to the child support will make things survivable. Sucky, hurting my pride, wow this bites, but the kids can eat. And jobs like that are a dime a dozen. Heck, I bet I could even apply for MANAGER at McDonalds! Go me. I'm not knocking Mickey D managers by the way, I'm just saying that is not my idea of a full time plan. But. But I really want to be a SAHM, and I really want to homeschool. If short stories were easier to get published and paid for, I'd blanket the market. I'd do a short story a day and get them out there. And that's probably what I should do, honestly, it would get me closer to getting a novel published. But. I think my plan is to get this novel finished by the end of the year. I would really like to finish it by the middle of December and have it edited and reworked by the end of the year. You know what? That plan sucks. I will finish the novel by the middle of December, polish one section that I think highlights it, and then start mailing it out for publication. And while I'm mailing and piling up rejections, I'll continue polishing. But I would like to have a finished piece by the end of the year. At that point, I don't know. At that point, I'll be on my own, trying to raise four kids on 25% of what I've been raising them on (hopefully with a house payment closer to 20% of what we've been paying). And I really will be doing it on my own, not just feeling like I am. I'm going to have to make tough, what's-the-best-thing-for-my-kids decisions. And I just don't know if $18,000 is going to cut it, even if I get help from the church or the government or both. I'm not even sure a "hey the economy is turned around" support payment of $24,000 is gonna cut it. So anyway. Tomorrow and Saturday I'm attending an employment seminar. I cannot describe the joy. I'm sure it's gonna be a lot of what I already know. Of course, it's been a decade so <shrug>. Maybe I should email Kent back - from when I was working at the gym - and ask if he is hiring, in whatever he is doing. I'm sure they're running something, and I'd get to go to Florida... Yeah, this is so gonna be a divorce blog. Because you know me, I process best through talking or writing things out. And there is a limit on the people to talk to at present, and it's about to get cut. (LAWL at me on Mumble with no Warcraft...) Because we're having about seven different kinds of issues. Or I am. Things like, omgosh, my husband is insane. He wants me to agree to move wherever he moves when he gets transferred and basically keep my life tied to his. He wants joint custody. He wants a lot of things. Alright, well, I am going back to gaming. I literally have a writer's cramp from these last few days, because even though I haven't massively written my novel, I have done a lot over in "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . And offline, of course. In the meantime, I think I'm going to post my daily totals in my entries instead of at the top. I may or may not keep it at the top. We'll see. |
| Does it count as Day Three, if Day One was only, like, an hour long? Well, whatever. So I finally finished the first section of my novel, the set-up to everything else. Now I have to take a break from writing and really plan out the intricacies of time travel. This book is a headache to plot, much less to write. And I know I'm going to have to go back and massively revise everything Jonathan says and does, based on what he ends up doing later in the book, so that Jonathan-in-the-future is consistently changed from Jonathan-in-the-past. <sigh> I'm getting a headache just thinking about it. As always, if you want to know what's happening - and what brick walls I'm hitting - you can check out "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor , where I unscramble things. But only do that if you want to know how the novel ends. Actually, make sure you TELL me how the novel ends. I still haven't figured out what to do with my bad guy. I like him too much. So, today, I went out to look for a J-O-B. Then I met with my lawyer (man, the joy I feel in typing those words cannot be expressed /sarcasm). We were talking about homeschooling. See, I have always strongly felt that I should be a stay-at-home mom. Even before I decided to homeschool, I wanted to stay home while my kids were in school so that when they got home, I would be there. So while I can handle most of the things going on with this divorce - oh crap, is this gonna be a divorce blog? blech, I'll try to keep it light, but this relates to writing sorta - I really hate my kids losing that. So my lawyer said that, given my husband's income (er, when it was good, it's slower now), and given the fact that it actually was *his* idea to homeschool, and also given the fact that we are absolutely NOT in Atlanta and the cost of living here is insanely low, it might be possible to make it on just child support. Now apparently my lawyer is not an astrophysics major because he put $1500/month at $30k/year, which would be true if, you know, there were 20 mos/year. I was actually excited at first because I've pulled us through, with three kids, on under $30k/year but about ten seconds with a calculator reveals that it is, in fact, a whopping $18,000/year. Yay, poverty level. He actually said 1500-1800/month, so that gives me an upper level of - wait for it! - $21,600. Wow. I don't even like typing that number. Talked to Michael. He said when things picked up at work and he's actually back making the income he was making pre-economic slowdown, he could probably swing $2000/month, which would put us up to $24,000/yr, or $26,000 if, you know, you take in that invisible 13th month. That's actually about the minimum I've made pulled our family through on, BUT that was in Atlanta, with a higher cost of living. If you were here at the beginning of my blog, when I had us on the super-couponing grocery budget of $100/month, then you'll remember it. I could do that again, although the time is just <blech> and makes me want to puke with the monotony of it all. On the flip side, my kids are getting bigger. So here's what I did. If I massively break it down, I can find housing for $500/month, cover food for $500/month - actually, that's where we are right now, and I'm sure that feeding Michael is a part of that, as are diapers which we are FINALLY almost finished with, plus I've gotten into a lot more convenience food and a lot less cheap, and I can *do* cheap - , and $500 for utilities. And somewhere in there I have to pay for gas for the car. And...that's it. Homeschooling has always been on the cheap, through the library, but I would be massively asking for museum memberships for Christmas for the kids. Side activities would be tough but we would figure something out. I'm sure I can find something that I can do at home - I actually saw a craigslist ad for PT work for a transcriptionist. I type 80 wpm, so that's doable. And when Dawn is 11, in three years, I could feasibly leave her at home with the kids and do a little bit of work elsewhere. And of course I'll become a big famous novelist...LMAO. It's doable, but it would be massively tight. There would be no room for basically any luxuries - no Warcraft, no Tivo, no Netflix. On the one hand, the idea of living at the poverty level is crazy-scary. On the other hand, it's doable. I hate not having wiggle room, and it's going to be great when the kids do all the fun things and get all the fun stuff from their dad. But as long as they are being fed and clothed and sheltered, I honestly feel like being home with them is the most important thing. Um yeah it all ties into writing because, see, if I'm working 40 hours and then coming home and homeschooling, um, yeah I won't be doing much writing. That's it. Boy, this plan basically sucks all the way around. The whole damn thing sucks. I think I'm going to go curl up under my covers again. The good thing is that, lately, when I've been curling up and hiding from the world, I've at least managed to focus on what needs to happen next in my novel. LOL |
| Wow. So last night was painful. Actually, it wasn't. I can't believe how quickly and easily it is coming together. After I wrote two pages last night, I forced myself to put down the laptop and go to bed. I didn't have a chance until about 1:30 or 2 to start writing today, but I'm writing now. I'm on page 7. Okay, so five pages in an hour...okay wait. That's pretty good. Although I'm only on page seven, so it's closer to four pages. Still. The point is, however, that I have it precisely scripted, and I can see it. Part of that is because instead of sleeping last night, I was trying to figure out what was going to happen. For instance, I can't believe I never thought about Jonathan trying to change things. I don't think that idea ever occurred to me. He can't, of course - paradox! - but of course he would make the effort. And here is the best part. Sometimes, when I write, I have to have the entire story in my head, line by line, before I can get things moving. This story has been in my head for the last five years or so. I know where it's going. I know who my chars are. So last night, I just started the scene, figured out how I was going to begin. Things got moving from there, and I haven't had to take a break yet. I am, now, I'm at a stopping point so I'm going to go and stretch. And I also wanted to retally things, see how much I've actually written. I'm pleasantly surprised. 2163 words. About 1,440 words/hour. LOL I dunno how that translates, but I think four pages in an hour and a quarter is pretty darn good, especially considering how long it has been since I've actually written anything. Also, I have a song stuck in my head and it won't go away... So. It is 3 o'clock, time for my kids to get up from naptime. I should probably do something serious but...I don't want to. Once again. I want to write. I want to delve into this world and see what happens. Of course, the first two chapters are easy. I really need to sit down and rechart what is going to happen once things get mixed up. And here is the other problem with my writing, my weakness. I know that I am lousy at the "b" plot, at what is underlying. Of course, there doesn't always have to be something underlying, not in your basic pop fiction. I've been spoiled by Koontz, I think. But generally there isn't a huge problem, I suppose. Either way, I'm just going to write and make it happen. If nothing else, it will be good to get the whole thing out on paper. And here is the other thing I have to give Adam grief about. The little voices are already starting. The ones that remind me that writing the novel is only part of the work. Getting something published is a totally different ballgame. It takes sales and marketing, things I'm not so hot at. It would be nice if I could just mail it off somewhere and get an answer in a month or two. But I'm not going to think about that right now. The important thing to do is to write the stupid thing. The next important thing is to polish it til it's shiny. Then I'll worry about the publication process. Assuming of course that real life doesn't have me tearing my hair out. |
| Well, I have been offline for close to forever. I promise, I sent in the children's book, but I didn't even get a rejection letter...then I got distracted. Life is very chaotic right now, so I don't know why I'm here, except that I have been reinfected with a desire to work on my novel again. I put together several ideas and characters, if you remember my "Help Me Write My Novel" piece (I'm not going to link it because I'm lazy), but I procrastinated because of the sheer amount of historical research necessary. Today, I was talking to a friend, Adam, who was reading several of these stories and telling me to get my butt in gear and write the novel, and I realized, hello, it doesn't have to be totally historic. I mean, I know I thought this once before but frankly the historic aspects of the time travel were interesting to me. Well, I'm tired of having this novel percolating, it's been, what, four or five years? It's insane. It's time to write it and be done with it. So I'm going to do it. I'm trashing the historical data and bringing it modern. I'm reorganizing and replotting. I am picking the most awful time ever to do this. I am sad to say that my husband and I decided last week that it was time to end our marriage. (I just don't like the phrase "get a divorce".) I'm polishing my resume so I can actually earn money as a single mom, because that is coming soon. I'm an emotional wreck. So why the hell am I working on a novel? First, because it is stuck in my head again. I started the "what if" game, and anyone who writes knows how that is. Second, because I need an escape. I've been gaming a lot lately - WoW for the win! - and it's a great escape, but there's nothing like delving into a world of your own creation, where you have the power. The first novel I ever wrote, back in middle school, I created this totally "omgosh she's awesome" character and I beat the crap out of her every way possible. I almost feel sorry for her, but since I still resent her, not so much. So the same is true here. I need some sort of control over some aspect of my life, and something is telling me this is gonna be it. Plus I need a happily ever after. Third, I am writing because Adam told me I have to. And I do everything Adam tells me to do. Oh I am so kidding...but not. I have always loved this site in part because it is a massive confidence booster for me. Sometimes I just need to hear someone tell me they think I have talent, or that I should write. It's so easy to dismiss it as "nonessential" because I have to clean the house or bring in a paycheck. So my friend Adam reads a few stories and comes back and tells me I'm wasting my talent. Very flattering. And encouraging. Then I started thinking about Jonathan, Caroline, and Alex, and now they are starting to consume me again. Maybe I'll just be totally irresponsible over the next two months and see if I can pull it all the way through. And then I'll go back to being a responsible, job applying adult. Actually, I have my resume polished and a couple of very specific cover letters. And I can't be that selfish. I have to do the things that I need to do. But maybe I can skip on sleep. Like right now, I'm seriously trying to decide if I need it...The whole novel is in my head. I need to do a little refreshing on the intricacies of the time travel stops, but the people have always been there. I know what Jonathan works with Alex, I know what pushes Caroline, and I know why Alex goes darkside. I can see the scenes. I can remember the dream that sparked it all. I just need to expand, elaborate, and totally make it happen. If I make myself put WoW away and seriously focus, I know I can make it happen. But...I dunno if I can give up gaming, which takes no thought. You have to understand that it's the social aspect that really cement it for me (the gaming, not the writing). On the flip side, to get this finished... I'm also not altogether certain now is the best time to surround myself with a fantasy. Dang it. I don't know if I can go to bed tonight. I'm trying to convince myself to shut down the comp, but another part of me really wants to start. But if I start tonight, I'll be up forever. edited to add: I shut down the computer. I turned off the lights. I scripted the first scene. Wow. Do you know how long I usually struggle on the first scene - much less the first sentence or paragraph? - when I start a story or novel? But I lay there in bed, and the whole thing just sort of came to me, line by line, detail by detail. So here I am, 1300 words later, shutting off my computer for the second time tonight. But. But, I have managed to intro Caroline and her project, and to bring Jonathan (yet unnamed) into the picture. Now I just have to move forward. It's only one a.m. What was I thinking? I'm going to sleep now and hopefully tomorrow I can wrap up the first few chapters. Unless, of course, I turn out the lights and get Jonathan's description of what is going to happen. How, exactly, is he going to convince Caroline? Hmm. |
| Well, this month has been full of plans as well as probs, so I guess that was an apt title for my blog. I am sort of disgusted with myself as to how little I have written. I haven't had a significant amount of free time, but the truth is that I have wiled it away in stupid mind-numbing things like playing on the computer. Mind you, in between everyone being sick and some personal issues, my husband has been gone for two one-week stints, and the weeks he was home, he tended towards three-day out-of-town stints. Plus the whole birthday party and mother-in-law thing. On the one hand, I do feel like I really needed the down time to just do nothing and let myself relax; on the other hand, I do still really want to get published, and if I don't write anything, I certainly won't make THAT goal. Well, not that I haven't written anything. I did do one completely fun, not-for-profit project. A friend of mine posted a Jason Bourne youtube-type video on FaceBook, and since I am detail-oriented (that's a nicer way to say it than, uh, the other way), the inconsistencies really stood out to me. So I made a two page list of them. Mind you, this was a 4 minute video. I don't know what that says about me. Anyway, after I finished with this list, I ended up laying awake until 3 mentally putting together various scenes for another movie. I had kind of jokingly thought that, after tearing up his script, it would only be fair to write him another one, but since I personally HATE writing scripts and prefer short stories, it was just a passing thought. Or so I thought. Anyway, I did the, 'well, if I wrote a script, what would it be about?', and came up with some ideas that were funny to me, at least. So instead of a Jason Bourne action script, I wrote a Jason Bourne action spoof. This friend has a great sense of humor, so I think they'll get a kick out of it. So, I have, at least, been keeping the writing muscles in shape. Just not so much following my New Year's resolutions. <sigh> I've been thinking about a James Madison book, but I'm not sure I have all of the information to go the way I want to go. Perhaps it can just be sectional, about the Bill of Rights. But I'm not sure I want to have that much detail on it, or that, really, I have all of the facts that I need. <shrug> Eventually that one will be written, but I have to decide when I feel ready. Actually, this week I am supposed to be working on my novel. Maybe I will do that some today instead of vegging. Probably not; I can already hear the TV calling me during naptime. I am such a slacker. |
| Well, it's been a long two and a half weeks. We keep passing around whatever bug we have, from one kid to another kid to me to another. Michael was gone for one week and now he's gone again, so I'm doing battle on my own. Suffice it to say that I haven't gotten any writing done. I've looked, here and there, at my Eratosthenes book, and I'm not sure about it. It seems very scanty. On the other hand, it should work for a level 2 reader. I think I'm just getting nervous again. I will try to get some market research done for it and send it out as is. There are a couple of early reader books that I was modeling this one after, so they are my primary market. I just have to pull the research. My luck, they don't accept manuscripts from unpublished folks like myself. <sigh> But I'm going to keep trying, anyway. Anyhow, that's the update. Okay, I confess - I've been really worn out, so the little free time I have, I have been playing on my newly developed facebook account and reconnecting with middle school, high school, and college friends.  I probably could have been writing instead of playing, but I've been in need of serious decompression.Also, as a plus, the house is cleaner than it has been in awhile; I've been doing better at keeping it picked up. |
| After a great start to the new year, I fizzled out last week, when all four of my kids - AND ME - got sick, with my husband out of town. So basically, nothing got done last week. I intended to get back on the ball this week, but I totally forgot that Saturday is my son's birthday party, and my MIL is flying in on Thursday night. So it is highly doubtful whether or not I'll get much done this week. Maybe I can send the Erat. story without the project at the end. <sigh> That might actually work a little better. I think I might do that; it will bring it down to about a Level 2 book, which will work fine, and make for a nice tie-in between Columbus and Erat. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where things stand. Very unsteady. I'll try to do better next week. Of course, in two weeks, I am having my OTHER son's birthday party, and two weeks after that I am supposed to teach my daughter's girl scouts about outer space. LOL. I would have written some today, but I was still feeling weird. It was strange; I thought I was well, but then this morning I felt light-headed. So I gave up and went to sleep at naptime, and earlier in the morning, too. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be in a better place and get some work done. I'm going to bed in the next little bit. |
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