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 |  Newest Entry: July 24 - New Contest |
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I used to have this wonderful long description here of exactly what this journal would be... but I cannot say that it was entirely accurate. The journal has taken a mind of its own, so I guess the only description I can really give it is: A Collection Of My Thoughts As I have discovered many times in my writing, as well as in my life - things don't always go the way you plan them to. I am still happy with this journal, however. It gives me a place to lay down how I am feeling, or even just to document what I've been doing. Not bad, huh? Feel free to putter through the entries, and come back to visit often! You never know what you might find here. Newest entries are at the top of the list. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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| I have some questions here that you may chuckle at, or perhaps even just answer them by pasting them in your journal and replying here with a link to the entry, or answering them right in your reply! They are just for silly fun, so you can be serious or not when answering them, all up to you! 1. If you were a kind of alcohol, what would you be and why? 2. (For a man)What is the likelyhood of you dressing up as a woman for one evening if someone promised you a free meal and no pictures taken? If you would accept the offer, what would you wear? 3. Some people say that Eeyore is bent on destroying the world - how would you describe the not so loveable, but adorable, donkey? 4. If you could teach high schoolers any subject, what would it be? (It doesn't have to exist already.) 5. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you should be embarassed, but somehow you weren't? What was it? 6. What is your favorite food? How does this favorite food describe your personality? 7. What's the strangest thing you've ever done for yourself in reward for a job well done? 8. If you really really hated someone, but they needed help and you were the only person that could help them, what would you do and why? 9. If you were put in a position to give your best friend an award (silly or serious), what award would you give them? 10. Would you be willing to wear a purple beehive wig for an entire day just for the fun of it? (I have one... you could borrow it if you really want. ::winks:: ) 11. What do you REALLY think baloney is made of? (Come on, don't be shy...) 12. If you had to choose between staying in a house with a no roof on a rainy night or staying with your dog in the doghouse, what would you choose? 13. Are you willing to hold a woman's purse for a moment while they use the restroom? 14. Imagine you had the perfect pet - what would he/she be like? 15. What is the strangest name you have ever given an animal that you own? Did that animal seem to resent you for it? Don't forget to check out my new contests dealing with silly questions and answers!! "Invalid Item"  and "Invalid Item" |
| So, yesterday I had to turn down a really awesome job, so I should be down in the dumps today, right? Well, not so. I got a phone call this morning asking if I could take a summer position at the same campus so I could get paid during the summer and I could still take the position. Unfortunately, I couldn't take that either because it starts NEXT WEEK, and my husband is under contract through the end of June. What makes it such a feel good thing is that they didn't just take my 'no' and sit around with it. They decided to try something else to see if it would help, which means that they really do want me there. Gosh that feels great! To be wanted - I know that sounds a little funny, but it still makes me wanna sing. |
| I just had a discussion with my husband, my mother, and my previous future employer. Between us, I think we decided that we're not going anywhere. It's really sad when you can't afford to move, but for this move, because of the paycheck lag, we would need approximately $10,000-12,000. I'm afraid that is a hole we would never find our way out of, so I am not going to let us risk it. If we didn't have children, sure, we could find a way. I am a little upset about losing this opportunity, yes, but I can draw unemployment for a while - as long as I prove that I have been trying to find a job. At least the unemployment is SOMETHING coming in every month, as opposed to the nothing I'd be receiving for two and a half months if we left. |
| See my title? That is how long I will have to go without a paycheck if I take this job. That and the fact that my husband does not have a guaranteed job in the city we will be moving to. Not only that, we'd have to find somewhere to live, somehow find the deposit money for a rental property, find a way to continue paying on our house until it is sold, and find childcare. In order to accomplish this, I'd have to find a way to get a new job where I live for the summer, move while I have that job, find another job IMMEDIATELY after we get there, and continue that one until I get my first paycheck. My husband will have to look for TWO jobs. This all seems absolutely impossible. I don't think we're going to be going anywhere. |
| So... I discussed that whole issue with my husband last night. Here was our biggest problem - no matter which choice we made, one of us is left without a job and searching. We can barely make ends meet with two jobs, there's no way we could do it if one of us was out of work. We made the decision to leave, but working this out is going to be difficult. Really difficult... My husband really needs to find a job. This is a mess... We also have the house to think about, and the kids, and the animals, and... and... and... ::shakes her head:: |
| Okay, so I was ranting and raving about the issues that I was facing at my work yesterday, and today I got a message (that was actually left for me yesterday) asking me to call some Loni person back. Well, I didn't know a Loni, so I kinda raised my eyebrow and started dialing. Well, it was another of the jobs that I applied for. I had felt really confident after the interview, and I had been hearing that my references were being called in this last week. My suspicions were confirmed when I talked to the woman on the phone. "The superintendent has approved your contract, and we are stending it out to you today. You need to get it back to us by June 2nd." Whoa! Not even an, 'Are you still interested in this position.' The fact that they've already had it approved by the Superintendent is surprising, too. Usually that doesn't happen until a little later. It makes me feel good that they might actually want me in that position that badly. The only issue is that we'd have to move to go there. It's a bigger school, with more resources, more technology, and I'd be making a lot more money. I'd also have bigger classes, but that's okay with me. The more kiddos I get to have in my classroom, the better! So... now I have to have 'the discussion' with my hubby tonight. Do we move, or do we not? |
| Alright, so the other math teacher retired so I could get my job back, right? Well, come to find, I don't just automatically get it back. Instead, I have to reapply and reinterview. In other words, I have to put my ass on the line again, when it isn't necessary. At the elementary campus they are just reinstating all of the teachers. That's it, reinstating them! But no, my campus we have to interview again. This is bullshit. And it all stems from our principal leaving early. If she were still here, I would be able to be reinstated without a problem. I want to cry. Update Okay, so I found out later that some teachers on my campus had been reinstated, which contradicts what I had been told about not being able to reinstate teachers without the principal, right? I went back to the superintendent's office to find out why some could, but I couldn't. "Well..." he said, "they are dual-assignment teachers. They are coaches and teachers, so we reinstated them with the recommendation of the A.D. and the new principal." Earlier in the day he said the new principal didn't know anyone on campus, which is why he would be reinterviewing. Now, see if this makes sense... he doesn't know me, he doesn't know the coaches either! Come to find out, I'm the only person in the entire district that actually has to reapply and reinterview. All of the others in my campus were coaches, and all of the ones on the elementary campus were reinstated since they DO have a principal to do it. So, I call a lawyer - not really to press charges, just a consultation to see if what was going on was legal. It is... unless there was some sort of prejudice. The only prejudice I see is that I'm not a coach, but I don't think that is something that I can prove, so there's nothing that can be done. (I actually wouldn't have done anything anyway.) I'm just... very frustrated. I feel used. If they don't want me to work there next year, it would be so much easier for me if they just told me that, rather than giving me the runaround and treating me like a sack of potatoes... As one of the teachers said just after I was let go, "Looks like you learned the hard way that school districts are not loyal, no matter how loyal their employees are." |
| It's amazing what some people think is funny. I guess most people, and it saddens me to know that. Why is putting people down, picking on them, and poking fun at them so funny? The truth is, it shouldn't be. Things like that hurt, and they hurt sometimes more than people realize. I know that sometime in the past I wrote about how cruel children can be, and they really can. They call each other horrible things that they don't even know what the words mean, they stereotype and shun a person because of their clothing, or even because of how they look or if they have zits. It is a natural part of growing up, I suppose, but one that I would like to put a stop to. This sort of thing is not allowed in my classroom at any time. But sometimes, when reading things in newspapers, magazines, books, and even on here - I realize where these kids get it from. We, as adults, are unbelievably cruel. And we are more to blame because we KNOW FULL WELL what we are doing. We KNOW that the words we say can hurt. We KNOW that we shouldn't be doing it... ... but it's funny, right? Wrong! And unfortunately, our children won't learn that until we do. Wake up adults! We are creating a world full of hate. |
Yeah, so I finally got my tooth pulled... hurts a little, but I only looked like a chipmunk for about an hour. Not bad in my opinion. Supposedly it's not going to hurt much, yet the man gave me codine. That sounds a bit contradictory to me.  So... I've been thinking lately. It's a dangerous thing, really, thinking... especially when one spends most of their time doing it. Anyway, I've been thinking about many many things. What I'm going to do if I don't have a job next year, whether or not I should take a job out of town if it's offered to me (because then my husband would be the one searching), how much money really means to me lately, what would happen if I makw the wrong decision... Thinking hurts... |
| It is getting really hard to get up every morning. Just like the students, I guess, I have dreams of summer and lazy days around the house. (Not that any day is really lazy anymore with the twins, but it would be nice not to have to get up at 6:00 am.) I just want to lay, snuggle next to my husband, and sleep in - even if it's just until 8:30 when the twins wake up. Ahh well... three weeks. I'll be counting every day until I am free. On a brighter side, I have a few job opportunities! One of the math teachers here at the jr/sr high school is retiring this week, so I have the chance to snatch her job. It will be teaching Junior High, which I would rather not do, but I suppose it is better than nothing, hmm? I also have a job interview tomorrow with a 4A school district near a much bigger city - high school position. In all honesty, though, with the job interview, I'm a bit nervous. Any time I have actually had to compete against others for a job on my own, I've always lost. I have never gotten the job I wanted. I don't know whether it's because I'm overqualified, underqualified, or even if it's just my personality that annoys people. I wish I could figure it out, though... it's getting a bit irritating. Ah well, cross your fingers for me, and we shall see! |
| When I was 16, a man in his 50s gave me a rose and wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I mentioned that I was not a mother yet, to which he said: "You will be one day, and I think honoring future mothers is just as important." He moved the next year, so I didn't get to get another rose, but it is still a nice memory that I have. Yesterday, my first official Mother's Day as a mother, I spent the day putting up pictures of my family for all of you to see: "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" "Invalid Item" |
| Within the past 3 months, two in my family have been diagnosed with Adult Onset Diabetes - my mother and my grandmother on my father's side. In all honesty, that scares me. I have it coming at me from both sides of my family, and my only defense is keeping my weight down. Yeah, so maybe that isn't so hard for most. You know, before I had children, it wasn't so hard for me, either. I could eat whatever I wanted, and never gained a pound... but it's not that easy anymore. Losing weight is like trying to convince a dog to jump in a can of purple paint and hang themselves upside down out of a tree to howl at the moon. So... onward I go into something I've never had to face before, to prevent something I never want to face. This is going to be a long summer. |
| Caffeine, probably one of the most addictive drugs out on the market today - though it isn't labelled as a drug. And I, like many others I know, am hooked. Whether it be coffee or soda, it is just as potent. How do I know it is a drug? Well... this is how: it has withdrawal symptoms.  HeadacheIrritablenessFatigueI had one point in my life when I was not hooked on it. One summer I decided to give caffeine up, and I did it successfully. I had a hell for the week that it took for the withdrawal symptoms to pass... but I did it. I'm thinking that I need to do it again... When I 'kicked the habit', I found that I had more energy, and I even lost a little weight. I plan to start going off of it June 1st (after work is out for me, so I don't kill my students.) Anyone up for giving it up with me? |
| This morning was actually fairly humorous for me. I packed my kids in the car to take them to the babysitter on my way to work, stopped to get breakfast at McDonald's, then started on my way to work, just like every other morning. Well, this morning I heard this when I was about ten minutes out of town (because I work in a different city that I live in): "ah da da daaaa di ba" I had forgotten that my children were in the car, and almost took them to work with me this morning! The little voice I heard was my daughter talking to her brother. Gasping, I turned around and headed back to my babysitter's house, giggling all the way. Needless to say, I was a little late for work... And now for the other subject - Amy Lee... are you familiar with her? She is the lead singer for Evanescence, and has a single with Seether named "Broken". I... being the music lover that I am... absolutely ADORE her voice. It is so beautiful! Broken probably ranks as my current favorite song, the two just do such an awesome job. Does all of this make me pathetic? |
When reading The Milkman   's journal today, I found myself considering what I was writing in my journal. He mentioned that many he read had rumors within the 'pages' of the journal. Just to make sure, I immediately went to my own journal and started reading to be sure that I was not one of the ones doing that unintentionally. Luckily, I find that... so far... I am not. It did, however, give me a topic to speak about today. Rumors are nasty little buggers... they can start with a phrase as simple as, "Julie has a zit on her cheek" and turn into, "Julie has to go to the hospital every week because her acne is so bad that it is contagious if she touches anyone." Okay, so that's a silly example, but you get the idea. For anyone considering starting a rumor (even about themselves), I suggest looking into yourself to the inner child - once found, sit down and watch Larry Boy and the Rumor Weed. Heck, if nothing else, you'll have a few laughs. |
| Well, I intereviewed for a job last week, but didn't get it. That's okay, it was a job that I'm actually overqualified for, but at this point I figure I'll take anything I can get. They needed someone who could start right away, though, and I can't start until the end of May. I also went to two job fairs last week. Okay, so I tried to go to two job fairs, I only made it to one. The second had all advertisements saying that it didn't close down until 1:30... come to find out, it closed down at noon and I couldn't get there before that because of testing at the school. That was actually very upsetting because I had a good job prospect that got ruined because, of course, I was the one who seemed irresponsible by not showing up. I suppose I learned never to trust advertisements - always ask someone who really knows.... |
| Well, I finished that revision of The Dream Wizard, and I'm pretty happy with it. It really does indicate that it is an imagination thing now, instead of an out of body experience. I'm pretty darned happy with it! |
| Well, I just finished a very very huge revision of "Invalid Item" , and so far I have been getting wonderful reviews for it. My husband, however, pointed some things out to me that I hadn't realized. The poem alludes to some things that I'd rather not allude to - and I think it is because of the way he thinks, but I'd rather others not think the same way. I will probably be making further revisions to the poem, now, to exclude those little things. For example, he mentioned that it sounds very 'new age'ish. The whole out of body experience thing that you see the 'evil' people doing in Frank Peretti books, etc. The meditative state that brings an angel to your side, but they actually turn out to be a demon... yeah, that whole wierd thing. It was not what I was going for, of course, but the fact that someone could draw that idea out of the poem really does actually bother me. I guess I just don't want people to get the wrong idea at all. I was trying to illustrate what imagination could do - but instead I illustrated an out of body experience. I dunno, I'll see what I can do about that. |
| Well then, it looks like my muse may have returned, at least for a short time. I've considered putting a leash on him, but I don't think that would make a very happy muse, so I'll just feed him lots of gummy bears for now. I have a job interview next Tuesday. Granted, it's not for a teaching position, but it is still a position where I believe I can enjoy myself. I won't really be using the math degree that I worked so hard to get, but maybe that will come a bit later. Right now, I'll take just about anything that I can get. The kids have been waking up at 3 and 4 in the morning recently. It really makes no sense. Before daylight savings time ended, they woke up at 7 am. You would think that, since not much has changed since then (they still go to bed at the time they used to, not the time they should now), that they'd be waking up at 8. For some reason... it's not happening. |
| Okay, I've learned something recently... stress = bad writing At least, it seems that way for me. I am a... little... stressed right now, so my muse seems to have taken a vacation to get away from the tension. I love to write, but I just can't get anything out on the page today - or yesterday, for that matter. Maybe I should take a bubble bath. |
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This is absolutely hilarious! My kind of humor.
My life's been busier than normal, too, but NOTHING like yours. 
Hope everything's okay.
