Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/1407936-Lady-Flemmingcoffs-Lover
by Twiga
Rated: 18+ · Campfire Creative · Fiction · Romance/Love · #1407936
The tale of Minsk Flemmingcoff and Edward Green and the love that changed the world.
[Introduction] This is the tale of two lovers. Minsk Flemmingcoff and Edward Green.

This is the last chapter in the Manimals saga so let's try to make this the best one ever!

Here are the characters and their history thus far.

Minsk: A human/mink hybrid. Before her genes were spliced Minsk was a human girl who lived in Russia. Desperate for money she became a prostitute, by doing that she became pregnant she almost went mad with depression when the child was born dead, She ran away to America where she met Matoaka Redfeather and became a Manimal.

Edward Green: Otherwise known as the Prowler. Edward was a master theif and robber known as the bafflement of law and order!
For a short while Edward was breafly a rat manimal but his body became allergic to the DNA and ejected it meaning he is a normal human once more.

When Edward became human again he and Minsk had sex and than split neither one aware Minsk had become pregnant untill it was too late.

Now Minsk's fellow Manimals want to help her anyway possible even if it means a shotgun wedding!
Edward Green, known to many as the Prowler was currently in a bit of a pickle.

He had recieved a note earlier today that he must come to Crime Alley at midnight or else his secret indentity would be revealed!

Edward gingerly entered Crime Alley watching for any sudden movements

Suddenly Edward felt a twitch behind him. He turned around to see Jim the Squirrel Man behind him with his sword!

"You made Minsk pregnant now you have to marry her to make an honerable woman of her!" Jim said

Although Edward had long ago rejected his rat DNA, during the time when he was a rat he had leaned many skills of evasion and sneakery. He contemplated using them to escape from Squirrel Man Jim, but finally it sunk into his small brain as to what Jim had said. "What? Minsk is pregnant! You mean... with my child?"

"Yes," Jim said. "You're going to be a daddy."

"This changes everything! But... how do I know it's MY child?"

Jim raised his sword. "Are you saying Minsk is a tramp?"

"No," Edward said. He remembered how Minsk had clung to him and said she loved him.
Edward thought deeply. He wished Minsk had used a diaphram or told him to wear a condom or something... Edward sighed

"Take me to Minsk." He said allowing Jim to take his hand

When they got to Manimal HQ he saw Minsk sitting on a sofa looking at her feet

Edward looked around all the manimals were there and he didn't want to sound angry or annoyed in front of everyone

"My we please have some space?" He asked of Matoaka

She nodded and gestures for all the manimals expect Minsk to leave

Once they were alone Edwad sat down

"I hope you know this was entirely your fualt" He said "I assumed you had taken the pill or were using a diapham or... CRIVENS! You could've told me to wear a condom! Honestly Minsk what were you thinking?"

Minsk just started crying

"I'm sorry Edward." She said "You're right it's entirly my fualt. But do understand I never inntended to become pregnant again!"

"Again?" Asked Edward

"Before I became a Manimal. When I lived in Russia. My family was very poor and my little sister Anya was very sickly, one day she became so sick we weren't sure she would make it, so when I was 15 I became a prostitute and became pregnant."

Edward was flabbergasted! "What became of the child?" He asked

"It was a stillborn." Minsk replied

They were both silent. Then Edward said, "Have you seen a doctor? Is this baby healthy?"

"It's too early to know much. There's still time to... to... you know."

"An abortion?" Edward thought for a moment. He was a father now... if he wanted to be. But did he want to be? "I have to think about all this," he said.

"I understand," Minsk said. "I don't expect you to marry me or anything, if that's what you're thinking. I just thought you'd want to know that we created a child."

Something electric ran through Edward when Minsk said, "created a child". It was true. They had created a child. An abortion was out of the question. And he couldn't abandon Minsk now. "Minsk?" he said.

Minsk looked into his eyes. "What, Edward?"
"I have something to tell you."

He sat down beside her

"When my mother and father were finnishing High School they were madly in love. At the end of their senior prom they made love in the backseat of his dad's BMW."

Edward sighed "The day after that my mother moved away with her family and my mother and father never saw each other again."

He laid his hand Minsk's furry paw

"I want to there for my child for my father was never there for me."

"Thank you, Edward," Minsk said. "If it's a boy we'll name him Edward Junior.

"No, not that name. I've never liked the name Edward. I don't want to put it on my son. Sometimes I think the reason I became a thief was because of my name."

How could that be?"

"It started when I was a boy. I never liked my name because I didn't like myself. I felt I was a nothing, that my father left because he knew I was a nothing and didn't want anything to do with me."

"But he didn't know you. You hadn't been born yet when he left."

"I'm not saying it's logical but when I was a kid I felt the reason I didn't have a father was because I wasn't good enough to have a father."

"That's so sad."

"I hated myself and I hated my name. I was always acting out. Becoming a thief was a way to tell the world to go fuck itself, that I didn't care what they thought. It made me feel more powerful and important to know I could steal anything I wanted."

"Even when you were being chased by the police?"

"Even then. I felt important. All those police chasing ME! Why? Because I was somebody. I was Edward the Thief, Edward the No Good Low Down Rotten Thief. I don't want my son to have my name."
"Very well." Minsk said "If it is a boy I shall name it Demitri, I had an older brother named Demitri I think I would like to name my child after him."

"Fair enough." Edward replied

Meanwhile neither one of them knew they were being watched by Edward's ex-girlfriend Rose Thorne otherwise known as Black Widow!

"So the Prowler is going to have a baby with a freak eh? I want to cash in on this! I bet the local zoo would just LOVE to exibat a baby Manimal!"

And off she ran...

...to the zoo. It took a while before she found someone with the right connections, but finally she was sitting in a waiting room behind the Reptile House. "Mr Noog will see you now," said the receptionist.

Mr Noog got up from behind his desk as Rose walked in. He took her hand and gently kissed it. "Welcome to my office. It's not often I get a visit from such a lovely lady."

Rose pulled her hand back. "Right. Listen, mister. I've got a deal for you. How would you like to have a genuine baby manimal for your zoo?"

Mr. Noog's eyelids lowered and he looked hard at Rose. "Are you a cop?"

"No, this is on the level," Rose said. "I can get you a baby manimal in about 6 months or so."

Mr. Noog rubbed his hands together. "Hmmmm... Okay, I'm interested."
Rose Thorne AKA Black Widow was the wickedest woman crimanal ever!

Before she came to the states she lived in merry old England where she began her crimanal career of luring men to her lair with sweet promises only to turn them into her slaves!

It started out as innocent fun, role-play, bondage maybe some spanking but soon her humiliation of her victems became so great that they either ran away or had a mental breakdown!

When she moved to the USA and became more of a crimanal adding stealing and murder to her list of dasdurdly deeds she tried to similer things to her fellow costumed crimanals but to her dismay she never got far with any of them. They always kicked her out when she became too demanding of them

Meanwhile Zander had come back from his spanking and you can be sure his rump was sore!

"It dosen't look too bad." Matoaka said gently spreding some soothing cream on Zander's bum

"Oh yes it is." Zander could only wimper as his tail feathers twitched
A Non-Existent User
As Matoaka applied more of the soothing cream onto Zander's smarting bum in walked Edward and Minsk, hand-in-hand, shy, smiles on their faces. Minsk was just showing her pregantcy, and Matoaka nodded to them both a smile on his face.....she then patted lightly on Zander's back...
"Go on, Zander....rest on your stomach, in the next room.....and as you sleep the cream with restore you, and your lost pride. Now go...I'll come to join you in a minute my beloved but first I have got to talk to these two now....." Matoaka smiled again as Zander scooted out of the room, without another word being spoken. As the door closed behind Zander....Matoaka patted the seats on either side of her,....
"and now we need to talk...and Delia, you may come in too!....Please?" Matoaka said to the shadows. As Edward and Minsk did as Matoaka had ask of them and Minsk sat on Matoaka's right, Edward on her left, there was a flleting movement of the shadows, within the room. As the two wondered what was going to happen, a form started to walk toward the three....the person's entire body covered by a dark, forboding robe that seemed to glide, never touch on the floor.....there was no sounds, no rustle of fabric... until the robed figure stopped in front of Matoaka. They then fell to one knee, and with a sudden flourish, revealed themselves to Minsk and Edward.
"Hello, mother....hello dear Minsk, dear Edward..." said the sultry voice of the beautiful, silver haired woman before them. Her long hair was allowed to flow free, and was laced down her back side, The amazing thing was it never got in front of her face, her eyes. Her angelic face bore no blemishes, no marks of any kind. At this close range Edward and Minsk both felt a deep yearning for her suddenly, but then that aroused feeling was gone, as with a smile she saw what a siren's call she had, even on these her mother's friends.
"So??...daughter??? How are you, and what have you found out?" ask Matoaka, as she and her held their hands toogether, in a sign of mother-daughter respect. "Is it as bad as I felt it was?" she added, but she could already tell her answer....
"Yes, mother....Rose Thorne AKA the Black Widow knows of the child,...that Minsk carries. She even went to the zoo to sell the child in 6 months time....she has other evil plans, but I had to come back now....and tell you and them!" she pointed to the Minsk and Edward, who sat there rapt....their attention on the female before them. Then they saw another feature of Delia that had caught them unawares......her eyes were those of a cat's..... with the irisis the color of shining gold. She just smiled at them....and purred!
(DarkElf that was a lovley addition but I should've been clear earlier Matoaka is a girl)

Minsk gasped "You never said you had a duaghter!"

Matoaka sighed "She is my adopted duaghter. When I first joined the galactic alliance. Tropfor the Octo gave me her to raise for she had been orphaned by the war with the Bettas."

Delia did not say anything but nodded

"Delia is a Jeli from the the Planet Jellicle otherwise known as the Planet of the Cats."

Delia spoke up "We Jeli's have psycic powers and I was able to see into my Mother's past to see that her father was a Unicorn. The last unicorn in the world."

"That explains my shapeshifting powers and my ability to heal" Matoaka replied.

Just then the three boy Manimals came in.

Jim the Squirrel Man, Bill the Bull Man and Bob the Catfish Boy came in.

"Bob's been shot!" Bill exclamed "He's been hit with a tranquilyzer dart!"

"It was those zookeepers Donald McRonald and Linda" Jim added

"I was just about to mention it," Delia said. "I picked it up on my psychic sensor but there was just so much going on..."

"That's alright, Delia," Minsk said. "I have had experience with psychics in Russia. I know they can be overwhelmed by data sometimes. No one expects them to think of every possible thing that is happening or is going to happen."

"Thank you for understanding," Delia said and clasped Minsk's hand.

Matoaka smiled. "I am glad you two can be friends. Delia, it's been a long time. We have a lot to talk about."

"What about Bob?" Bill said.

"Of course," Matoaka said. "Where is he? A tranquilizer dart is not fatal. Have you brought him back to Manimal HQ with you?"

A Non-Existent User
Bill looked at them all and by the shocked way he looked, all could tell he was shy, or was it saddened.....
"Uh, yeah...he is right here....we coulkd not leave him in a safe spot, there was too many people around there......and the human who was shot him....she was really wanting to folow us,but we knocked her out....." he said, as he looked down at his feet.
"Ok,....then come her, Bob,...let us see you arm pleasel?" Matoaka sweety ask, as she started to get up. "I do have to get some sleep tho, and I got Zander waiting for me in the other bedroom...." She looked at Bill as she stopped....a gentle smile on her ever-watching face...
Edward spoke up then, as he too stood.
"I can fix him....and you can go get some sleep with Zander....and I think Bob is a tough guy.....If he is hard to fix, I got all these friends here if I need some help...."
Delia stood to go with him, and Minsk sat there her face beaming at her man...and him wanting to help so much.....
Jim looked at Bob, as they both looked at each other...and then said in unison...
"Sure...let Edward help Bob,...uh, me...you get some sleep, Matoaka....let Bill stay here and watch over Minsk....and it will not be long...."
Edward beamed to them all, especially to Minsk as he felt he had been accepted once more...as he started to move toward Bob and see what damage if any the dart had done to the catfish boy. As he gingerly handled the teen's arm where the dart had struck, he saw that there was no big harm done, and only a light reddening covered the small area where the dart had been. He also could tell the numbness of the shot had just stayed in the loacl area....
"Looks like he may fall asleep ay any moment...so please lay down, Bob...just relax and let you have agood sleep." Edward led the lad to the mat that was laying on the floor, in the corner..."Here, lay down and get comfortable...and I will personally watch over you...friend!" he said as the lad laid down and closed his eyes...
Jim walked over and sat down beside Bob,...and beamed a smile as well...
"I will watch over him too, ok Matoaka??...Edward??" he ask. ".and it is my pleasure to watch over my friend...." and they both beamed at the Matoaka's face. She then nodded, and as she spoke, she started walking to the closed bedroom door....
"Okay....Bill you guard Minsk who must rest here....Minsk you get comfortable...and let Bill know what you need...Edward, you and Jim watch over Bob while he rests and sleeps....and dear Delia....you just watch over us all...I am sure we have not heard the last of the Black Widow...nor of her kind!!" Matoaka then disappeared into the other bedroom...and closed the door...as all went and did as they had been told...
And Minsk laid back beaming her smile, as her belly gave her another kick....As she looked back at Edward he smiled back at her, and blew her a kiss...he too had seen that kick!

Minsk fell into a deep sleep and so did Bob

Minsk invistioned a dream in which she and Edward were in a dark starlit forest.

They were both naked as jaybirds caressing and preening gently under the moonlight.

Suddenly the pleasant dream turned into a nightmare!

A giant serpent rose out of the ground and grasped her in his coils! Minsk tried to scream but coulden't She woke up in a cold sweat

"Where is it?" She asked in her delerious state

"Wheres what?" Edward inquired

"The giant snake.. oh it was all a dream" Minsk whispered

"I think Bob is having nightmares too." Said Jim, Bob was twitching

"Oh help, help" Bob muttered "Ghosts...ghosts want me to tap dance... I don't want to tap dance."

"You tell those ghosts Bob" Jim whispered into Bob's ear

Matoaka and Zander slept soundly in each others arms both dreaming of times and places that only they knew.

Meanwhile Rose was walking through the zoo about to meet Mr. Noog along the way she passed by a mother elephant who was nursing her calf.

"Oh how sweet" Rose said sarcasticly "A big, gray, peanut-eating behemoth and her hairy offspring!"

Rose took a nickel and through it at the mother who flinched as the coin hit her flank.

Rose finaly made it to zoo nursery Mr. Noog was waiting for her he was bottle feeding a young giraffe but when he saw her he halted

"Welcome to our maternity room." He said graciously "This is where we bring the High risk expectant mothers to..."

"Can the small talk" She interjected "What did you call me here for?"

"We know that the manimals are extremely hard to catch. We also know that mother animals are most protective of there young."

"...And?" Asked Rose

"We've decided in order to make sure we get the infant mink manimal we must secure to mother and have her give birth within the confines of the zoo. Otherwise when she gives birth she'll hide the infant where we'll never find it or worse move away to where we can't get her!"

Rose contamplated this

"I'm twice as sneaky as any weasel so I can rangle in that Minx easily but I'll have to face my old ex-boyfriend and let me tell you when the Prowler loves something be it a jewel or a woman he'll fight tooth and nail to keep it!"

Rose smirked

"But I have ways of dealing with him you'll see"

Mr. Noog grinned. "Good. I trust you to bring Minsk to me."

"One thing," Rose said. "I need a bottle of your strongest animal tranquilizer."

Ten mimutes later Rose was on her way out of the zoo. As she passed the elephant compound she stopped, opened the bottle of tranquilizer, and dipped in the fingertips of her right hand. Rose Thorne had tough sharp fingernails that she kept filed to a point.

She called to the baby elephant. "Come here, little ugly. Come here. Come here. I want to test something on you."

Out of curiosity the baby shuffled over and Rose raked him with her nails. The tranquilizer took effect immediately and the baby elephant fell over with a thud. Excellent, Rose thought. As she walked away she could hear the mother elephant trumpeting furiously at her.
Once everyone had finished their power naps Matoaka called everyone together.

"I want everyone to be prepared for Rose Thorne. We have fought alien warlords but human crimanals are much more dangerous becuase you will never no what they will do next."

Delia raised her clawed hand "I shall be on guard on all hours of the day."

Matoaka put a silky coppery hand on Delia's shoulder

"Well said Delia." She beamed

"I can distract them away from Minsk." Bill offered

"That has worked in the past." Matoaka said with a hint of sadness "But I'm afraid they will willingly pass you by in order to get Minsk's baby. These vile zookeepers want a manimal that is too small and weak to fight back."

Edward stood up

"Pardon my interjection Ms. Redfeather but... Rose is my ex-girlfriend and we are both costumed crimanals if anyone is to face her it should be me."

"I trust that you know well of her ways." Matoaka inquired

"Yes. Believe me we used to rob banks together" He said with a hint a bitterness

"Quite right." Matoaka nodded "There are virgin margaritas in the kitchen if anyone wants them."

That got everyone heading for the kitchen everyone except Matoaka, Zander and Delia

Matoaka sat down Zander and Delia sat beside her

"Dose your backside feel better Zander?" She asked

"Sure dose!" Zander grinned "What is that cream made of anyway? I should print out the recipe and mail it to..."

Matoaka put her finger to his beak gently cut off his rambling

"You are a silly bird." She said affectionatly

She turned to Delia

"You are my adopted treasure." She said taking the Jeli's chin in her hand "I will always love you but I feel that soon it will time to leave Earth and join your own people on Jellicle

Delia meowed with sorrow "I knew this day would come but it still breaks my heart to hear it."

Donald McRonald and Linda were sitting in their apartment watching Lost on TV when a knock came on the door.

Donald jumped up and looked through the peephole. "It's Rose Thorne."

"Let her in!" Linda said.

Rose waltzed in and held up the bottle of animal tranquilizer. "I got it! And it works perfect. It will knock out a baby elephant in 5 seconds."

Donald rubbed his hands together. "Excellent! Now we need to plan the perfect time and place to pull this off. The Manimals will be protecting Minsk."

Linda growled. "I'd like to kill that Matoaka bitch."

"Hey! No killing!" Donald said. "We don't want the law getting involved."

"I just said I'd like to. I'm not stupid enough to try it. Anyway, what's to stop the Manimals from calling the law after we kidnap Minsk?"

"I wouldn't worry about that," Rose said. "The Manimals don't want the law involved. They prefer to handle everything themselves and stay undercover. The hard part will be getting Minsk away from them. But once we have her, if we can hide her in a safe place until the baby is born..."

"Don't worry about the place," Donald said. "Linda and I know where there's a little cabin way up in the mountains. It's very isolated."
Minsk walked quietly under the woodland trees. The weight of the child was growing everyday.

She sat down near a forest pool and gazed into the water.

Nearby Matoaka was watching. Making sure no one was sneaking around

Meanwhile, At the School where all the younger manimals went to, Bill was in his human form humming a tune to himself

"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way of workinging together... and some of the time you would say it was luck! And some of the time..."

Not watching where he was going Bill bumped into his nerdy friend Ichabod Crane

"We should really stop bumbing into each other like this, this is the third time this has happend!"

Bill chuckled akwardly

"Yeah. Well lucky for me I got a thick skull."

Ichabod just muttered something under his breath.

"So... It's almost Halloween what are you going to dress up as?" Bill asked

" My father says that now that I'm old enough I can where his old Scarecrow costume."

"What really?"

"No." Ichabod chuckled "I'm most likely going to dress up a 19th century Irish immegrant, you know, back during the Potateo fammine."

Bill smiled "I'm thinking I'll dress up as Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones"

"What's Bob going to be?" Ichabod asked.

"Why are you asking me about him?" Bill said.

"I'm just asking. Why so touchy? Did you and Bob have a fight?"

"Kind of. Just a silly argument really but I guess it got out of hand."

"So tell me."

Bill shrugged. "Did Bob ever tell you about his tap-dancing ghost dreams?"


"About a month ago he had this dream where some ghosts were trying to make him tap dance with them and he didn't want to do it. I guess it was a nightmare. He was telling me about the dream until I told him to shut up."

"That's why he's mad?"

"No, then he had the dream again a few days later and then again the next day after that. So he starts talking about 'What does it mean?' and 'It must be really important' and maybe it's a 'sign of what the future holds' and all this dream psychology bullshit. 'Bob, I told him. 'Shut up! It's just a dream. Everybody has dreams!'"

Ichabod twitched his nose. "Yeah, but the same dream over and over? I can see how it might impress him."

"You, too, with the dream shit?"

"Hey, dreams are mysterious. Who knows what they mean?"

"People should keep their dreams to themselves, not go babbling on and on about them and boring everybody."

They were both silent for a moment until finally Ichabod said, "Mick Jagger, huh?"

Bill nodded his head. "Yeah, it's gonna be cool."
Bill and Ichabod went to their respective classes.

Meanwhile Minsk was taking a nap on the HQ sofa dreaming about her homeland

Than she saw an image of her Mother getting hit by a car.

Minsk awoke with a start! She knew it was no ordanary dream but a vision

"Mother's dead." Wimpered Minsk

Donald McRonald was waiting by the schoolyard for Bob to get out of school. He had a plan. He would make friends with Bob and then use that friendship to gain access to Minsk.

"Hello, Bob!"

Bob's eyes widened. "Hey, you're that creepy zoo guy. What the hell do you want?"

"Easy, guy. I want to apologize. That was a big mistake the other day, chasing you and all."

"You shot me with a dart!"

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry. We thought you were somebody else, guy. Did you have to go to the hospital?"

"No, I recovered okay. But it was pretty scary getting shot like that!"

"Yeah, I know. I just want to give you a little present to show how sorry I am. Here. Here's a hundred dollar bill. Take it. It's just my way of saying I'm sorry."

"Uh... okay. I guess I could use the money. Thanks."

"Thank you, guy. Again, I'm sorry about the mistake. Well, I'll see you around!"

"Okay. Good-bye. Thanks!"

Bob slipped the hundred dollar bill in his pocket. Now he could buy a new videogame.
Bill saw what had just happaned. He sneaked up behind Donald and than wacked him upside the head!

"I'm going to question you." Bill said

Ichabod walked by, his green eyes widened

"What the.." Ichabod gasped

"Ichy get some fear gas." Said Bill "We're going to play good cop, bad cop."

"There's no need for that," Donald said. "I'll answer your questions."

"Why did you give my brother a hundred dollars. What are you up to?"

"It's like I told him. I'm sorry for the tranquilizer dart mistake. Can't a guy be sorry?"

Bill looked hard at Donald. "You're not the type of guy to be sorry. And I don't think it was a mistake. You've been trying to catch me and Bob before. I recognized you. You and that woman. This isn't something new."

"So it took us a while to realize our mistake. You never made a mistake, kid?"

Bill thought for a moment about all the mistakes he had made. "Alright, I admit it's possible to make a mistake, but I don't want you hanging around us anymore. I don't want you talking to me or Bob."

"It's a free country."

"I mean it. I don't want to see you around Bob anymore."

"Okay. I'll think about what you want," Donald said and winked at Bob.

Ichabod looked criticly at Donald "I dont think I believe you." He said

"What do you mean?" Asked Donald

"You are blinking too much" Ichabod said flatly "Your eyes shake and there is a slight quiver in your voice. All signs that you're lying."

Donald didn't say anything. Instead he burst out of Bill's grip and ran away

"Good call." Said Bill

"Look!" Bob said, flashing the hundred dollar bill. "A hundred dollars! Let's go buy a cool game!"

"Put that away," Bill said. "You need to save up for your college fund."

"What?! Awwwww, I'm not going to save this. It's free money! You don't save free money, you spend it! Right, Ichy?"

"Uh... I guess so," Ichabod said. "But why don't we spend it on pizza?"

"There's enough for a game AND pizza!"


Donald stomped into the apartment where Rose and Linda were watching Oprah's Big Give on TV. "That big fat-ass bull manimal is going to be a problem," he said as he slumped into his chair.

"Did you talk to Bob?"

"Yeah. You should have seen his eyes light up when I gave him that hundred dollar bill. I just need to make sure his bull-headed brother ain't around the next time I talk to him."
Bob, Bill and Ichabod walked into a game store.

Bill and Bob inspected every new game like each was a fine jewel

Ichabod just checked his watch and waited for them to finish he was quite aware he was different from Bill, Bob and most other boy in town.

Ichabod would rather curl up with a good book than play video games and he wasen't fond of pizza or any junk food and would rather have fresh fruit and veggies to pizza any day.

Also he learned that Bob, Bill and Jim were emotional eaters.

Bill told him when he broke up with his 1st girlfriend when he was 14 he ate an entire fruitcake washed down with beer.

Ichabod thought that their emotional gluttony was revolting and he didn't understand how anyone could feel hungry when depressed.

"I never feel hungry when I'm sad" Ichabod murmured to himelf

Just than Ichabod noticed his shoelace was untied so he bent down to re-tie it.

Bob put down an old 1980's game and turned to see the oppisite shelf when he cuaght a glimpse of Ichabod bending over

The sight of Ichabod's skinny rear end at Bob's eye level aroused deep, beastly passon in the Nerdy Bob Buttz so much that Bob felt a tingle go down his spine.

For a few seconds Bob was torn between indulging his not-so-subtly held crush and not looking like a pervert.

But Bob's lust got the better of him so he tiptoes behind Ichabod and as quick as he could pinched his tender behind!


Ichabod jumped up with a start at that pinch and quick like a snake turned around to see who had invaded his personal space.

"Err.. Hi, Ichy..." Bob now looked like a little boy with his hand cuaght in the cookie jar

Ichabod without a 2nd thought raised his hand and slapped Bob's blushing face!

"Now listen here!" Ichabod snapped, his eyes glowing like emeralds "That is the last time you ever pull that with me got it? Next time you'll get more than a slap in the face!"

"Hey, look at this game I found," Bill said.

Bob hurried over, his face still red and stinging from Ichy's slap.

"What happened to you?" Bill said.

"Nothing. What's the game?"

"Kill Them All! Thirty-six weapons and everyone in the game is your enemy. Completely destructible environment. You're an escaped lunatic in a small town and you have to kill every living thing before the Federal Govenment can drop a nuke on you."


Ichabod watched them for a moment then walked over to join his two friends. He didn't hold a grudge against Bob because he knew what Bob was like. In a way he kind of liked having Bob interested in him... as long as Bob didn't actually do anything. If Bob touched him he freaked, but he would never abandon Bob as a friend.
Meanwhile Matoaka walked in and saw Minsk lying on the sofa just staring at the lights

"What's wrong Minsk?" Matoaka asked

"I had a vision" Minsk said "My Mother's died."

"That's terrible!" Matoaka gasped

"I want to go home back to Russisa" Minsk said "But I'm not sure they would except me back."

"Why not?" Matoaka said.

Before Minsk could answer, Jim walked into the room. "Bad news. My goldfish just died."

Matoaka was shocked. "Jim! Are you trying to make fun of Minsk's mother dying?"

"What? Huh? No! I didn't even know about that. I'm sorry, Minsk."

"Thank you, Jim. I'm sorry about your goldfish."

Jim's face was red. "Well... it's no big deal, I guess. I'll see you guys later."

Jim walked outside into the yard and stared at the sky. Why did he love that little goldfish so much? He didn't understand it himself. He could hear the voices of Minsk and Matoaka talking inside, but he couldn't quite make out what they were saying.
"Now than." Said Matoaka "Why do you feel your family would not except you?"

"I wasen't a manimal before I left. I don't know if the would except me for the Mink I've become."

She looked at her brown furry hands and looked at her long furry tail

Matoaka handed her a kleenex "I'm sure your family will always love you. Even if you were half-aligator!"

Minsk gave a little half smile but it quickly faded

Just than Zander and Edward came in

"Is Jim alright?" Zander asked

"His pet died." Matoaka responded

Edward took a look at Minsk's gloomy face

"Is something wrong?" Edward asked

Minsk rose from the sofa "We should talk in my room."

They walked quickly to Minsk's room

"Edward. You are well aware I'm from Russia." She said trying not to look nervous

"How could I not know with an accent so thick I feel I'm speaking with Natasha Fatale."

Minsk tried to laugh but she felt she had to cut to the point

"Do you think..." She hesitated "It would be safer for us and the child if we went back to my hometown of Moscow? I mean just for the rest of my pregnancy."

Edward thought about this, "Considering Rose she may very well follow us to the ends of the Earth but... There is another reason isn't there?" His sky blue eyes searching Minsk's brown ones

"I feel my family may need me." She said

"I would take you there in an instant," Edward said, "but we do have the problem of money. Airplane tickets to Russia are expensive." Edward rubbed his hands together. "But maybe a couple of quick night trips to the rich side of town will take care of that, eh?"

Minsk grabbed his arm. "Edward! No! We can't risk having you going to jail now when I am pregnant. You promised me you wouldn't be a thief."

"Maybe Matoaka will help with the money..."

"I don't like to ask her," Minsk said, "There must be some other way..."

Jim finished patting the dirt down over the small hole he had filled in. He stuck a tiny wooden cross in the soft dirt. On the cross was written "Goldilocks, may she sleep with the fishes". Jim closed his eyes and mumbled something, then crossed himself and sighed. Never again to see her gloden scales flashing in the sun... it was too sad to think about. He needed a project to take his mind off it. Maybe Matoaka had something for him to do.
Jim than saw a creeping shadow. The scent of roses filled the air something in his mind was screaming...

"The Black Widow!" Jim exclamed "I need to alert the others!"

Minsk and Edward were taking a walk along the forest stream

"I do have quite a bit of stolen jewels and gold." Edward said "Maybe I could sell some of those for the trip."

Minsk didn't like the idea of selling stolen goods to get home but suddenly she smelled a strange scent...

"Rose is here!" Edward hissed "Minsk find somewhere to hide I'll take care of her."

Minsk didn't need to be told twice She lowered herself to all fours and sped away

Edward reached for his cane and drew a sword from it "Show yourself!" He growled to the shadows

Rose stepped into the light smiling
"Hello, Edward, my darling."

"I'm not your darling anymore, Rose. You know that."

Rose smiled. "Edward, my love. How can you forget all the wonderful nights we had together?"

"Don't worry. I can forget anything if I have to. I don't like to threaten you, Rose, but I promise you this. Either stay away from me and Minsk or I will kill you."

Rose's smile faded. "What do you see in that little tramp? Do you know she has been unfaithful to you?"

"Shut up, Rose. I don't want to hear your lies. I think you better go now while you still can."

Rose hissed. "Don't threaten me, Edward! I can threaten, too. And not just you. Your little mink girl-"

"Shut up! I warned you. Now go!"

Rose whisled and something sneaked-up behind Edward and gave him the Vulcan neck pinch.

Edward colapsed and Rose tied his feet and hands together and placed him in the backseat of Dr. Noog's Mercedes

As the rolled out Minsk's eyes glowed from the thicket she was hiding in.

She took note of the lisence plate "I must tell the others." She said

When Edward woke up he was in what looked like a taxedermy room, there were dead stuffed animals everywhere it was really creepy

"Hello Edward." A voice said

Rose appeared from behind a stuffed tiger, with her came anouther crimanal the Nutcracker Vlad Prop.

Edward took a deep breath "So I see you've got a new toy"

Rose smiled "Yes Eddie. Vlad is a real he-man unlike you."

The Nutcracker took Edward and draped him over a stuffed moose and pulled down his pants revealing white boxers with hearts on them

"I see you still have the same taste in undergarments" Rose snickered, She than took out a paddle

"It's your choice Eddie either tell us wear your Mink is or you take 20 on your backside."

Edward squirmed in his bonds. If he could just get his teeth on that rope...

"Tell us, Eddie. Where is she?"

"I'm not going to betray her," Eddie said.

Rose handed the paddle to Vlad. "Give him 10 to start," Rose said. "That will loosen his tongue."

"Never!" Edward said and then clamped his teeth shut as the paddle whacked him.

After 10 whacks there were a few beads of sweat on his forehead but he hadn't made a sound.

"Oh, a tough guy, eh?" Rose said. "I'm tough, too, Eddie, and I'm just getting started. If you want me to stop, just speak up." She nodded and Vlad whacked Edward 10 more times, even harder than before.
Edward was sweating hard, his ass was burning from this treatment. He coulden't even use his feet to cover the paddle's taget

Meanwhile Minsk was telling the others what she had seen.

"That's Dr. Noog's car!" Matoaka said "Jim, Bill, Zander I want you to follow that car's tracks and its scent."

Jim, Bill and Zander saluted and sped away.

Edward was currently in the worse pain he had ever experianced, he knew he coulden't hold out much longer, so he thought up a pluasable false answer

"She's at my house..." He croaked "North Haverbrook, 2nd house on the left, you can't miss it. If she's not there I don't know where she is."

Rose and Vlad seemed to be satisfied with this answer and untied him

"Don't go anywhere," Rose said. But as soon as her back was turned Edward slipped out the window.

Meanwhile Jim, Bill, and Zander were a few blocks away arguing over which turn the kidnap car took. "I think it went this way," Bill said. "No, no, it definitely went this way!" Jim said.

Back at Manimal HQ Matoaka put her arm around Minsk's shoulder. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm okay. All this excitement. Whew! Maybe Eddie and I should hide out somewhere?"

"I would worry if you were anywhere else. Here I can keep my eye on you and protect you."

Minsk sighed. "Thank you. But I don't want to be a burden on you."

"Really, it's no burden. These Manimals are like children that I have to watch all the time anyway. I'm used to it."
Edward ran as fast as he could, rubbing his sore rump all the way.

In a few seconds he bumped into Jim!

"OW! Hey guys I found Edward!" Jim called

"Is Minsk OK?" Edward asked as he got up

"She's fine." Zander said soothingly

Edward breathed a sigh of releif

Meanwhile at Noog's zoo the animals were planning secretly to escape.

"I've had it here!" Said the Mother Elephant "They treat us with cruelty and profit on our misery!"

"You're damned right!" said the giraffe. "This place is a pain in the neck."

"There's no mud in my mud pit!" the hippo said. "Cheap bastards! How much would a little mud cost? Pennies!"

"Right on, brother!" said the crow. "I gotta scrounge around for a little popcorn when-"

"Hey! You're not a zoo animal! You're just a crow that flew in."

"Uh... well I been here a long time. I feel like a zoo animal."

"But you can fly away whenever you want. We're stuck here. It's not the same."

The lion yawned. "All this talk about escape might make you feel good, but just speaking practically, how the hell are we going to escape? You're in a fence, you're in a cage, I've got a moat and a wall around me. Let's face it. We're locked in. We're not going anywhere."

A monkey thought for a second than said "I have a piece of wire I've been saving up I can use that to unlock our cages!"

The animals clapped and cheered

Meanwhile Edward came back to HQ, when Minsk saw him she ran over to him and tenderly kissed him

"What on Earth happaned to you?" She asked

"I'd really rather not say in front of everyone." He whispered

The two of them retreated back to their room for a good night's sleep.

Zander and Matoaka stood side by side looking around the HQ

"I'm glad Minsk found someone." Matoaka sighed wistfully.

Jim, Bill and Bob went home and the former Ave prince and his human lover asended the stairs to their room.

Once there Matoaka flopped down on the bed and started weeping softly into her arms.

"What's the matter?" Zander asked

"I'm so irresponsible..." She sobbed "I'm pregnant to."

Zander was shocked "Pregnant?! When did this happan?"

"I don't know," Matoaka said "We've been having so much sex that I don't know when it started."

She sat up and looked at Zander pleadingly

"Please don't tell anyone about this!" She whispered "It's hard enough keeping Minsk safe I don't want those zookeepers after my child as well."

Zander looked thoughtful

"Sooner or later everyone will know you're pregnant just by looking at you."

"I know." She said "But let's wait till then."

Muggles the monkey fiddled with the piece of wire trying to unlock the python's cage.

Charlie Crow razzed him: "Hey, I thought you were a whiz with a piece of wire? What's the matter? Why are you fumbling so much? Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Aw, shut up!" Muggles said. "This ain't easy. With a key it's easy. With a piece of wire it's very difficult."

Suddenly there was a click and the python's cage door opened. "Thissssss issss great!" said the python. "Freedom at lassst! Thank you, Mugglessssss."

The python used his squeezing strength to crush the rattlesnake's cage. "Easy there!" said the rattlesnake. "You almost crushed me with it!"

Muggles went from lock to lock, improving his skills as he went, until he could open a lock in seconds. Soon all the zoo animals were gathered in a group.

"Now what?" said the giraffe.

Muggles looked at the lion. "I think the King of Beasts should lead us to the Promised Land."

There was a lot of murmuring in the crowd: "Promised Land? What Promised Land? Do you know anything about a Promised Land?"

"Silence!" roared the lion. "Here is my plan."
"When Noog comes in here to check on us in the morning I say we rip him the pieces!"

All the animals cheered.

Meanwhile as everyone slept Minsk dremt bad dreams

She dreamed she was on her way home to Russia when suddenly severel people turned into tigers and with their sharp claws riped her clothes to peices!

In her dream she started running across the snow... naked! The tigers were right behind her, growling and spitting. Minsk cried out, "Oh no! Please don't let them get me!"

Edward shook her awake. "Minsk! Minsk! Wake up! You're having a bad dream."

Minsk looked wide-eyed for a moment and then hugged Eddie. "Oh, that was a sacry one. Tigers and snow."

Edward patted her back. "It's alright now."

In a dingy little office behind the snakehouse at Donald McRonald's Incredible Zoo, a single lightbulb hung from the ceiling over a desk spread with papers.

"Three AM," Linda said. "Let's get some sleep. I'm tired of looking at all these charts and diagrams."

Donald nodded. "Do you understand our new plan?"

"Yes, yes, I understand. Operation Tiger. Get the Mink. Now let's do Operation Slumber. Get some sleep."
Minsk lay back down but felt she could not get back to sleep. She tossed and turned but the memory the dream was still vivid

Edward looked at her and felt a pang of guilt, wondering if the bad dreams were cuased by the pregnancy he cuased

But he pushed those guilty thoughts aside and kissed her cheek.

Minsk reterned the kiss on her lover's lips, He stroked her pale cheek (Minsk was in her human form now)

The dream was forgotton as the couple began to make love

(This story is Rated 18+ so graphic sex scene is welcome)
(But I'm only rated mentally 12 *Frown* ... *Delight*)

Edward stroked her cheek very gently. Minsk had a sensitive cheek. Finally she said, "Edward, stop that."

Eddie laughed. It was their little joke. They often started this way. When Minsk said stop, Edward knew she wanted more. He kissed her gently and then harder as she kissed back and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you," he said as they pulled apart.

Minsk rubbed his chest, looking deep in his eyes, then she bent down and kissed his chest and licked it a bit. She mouthed his nipples with her lips and teeth for several minutes, then she moved lower to his belly, kissing, using her tongue, nibbling a little to make him shiver and slap her lightly on the head. Then he would rub her neck. Always Eddie murmured words of encouragement.

Minsk moved lower until she was licking at the base of Eddie's Tower of Power. That's what he called it once and the name stuck in her mind. She put her hand on his Globes of Glory and felt their fullness.

Then finaly Minsk mounted Edward.

Minsk began to move her hips in and out creating friction they both moaned with pleasure as she thrusted

Edward thrusted a little to from what he could manage beneith her.

All seemed to be bliss when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Minsk." Said Matoaka "I don't want to scare you but the zookeepers are here!"

"Don't stop!" Edward gasped. "The damn zookeeppers can wait!"

Minsk surged back and forth, her long hair beating against Edward's face.

Matoaka sat with the zookeepers as the sounds of passion came rolling down the hallway. "Oh yes! Oh yes!"

"Tell me again why you are here?" Matoaka said.
"We're here to get the mink!" Donald said triumphantly

"Oh no you don't." Matoaka wickered as she morphed into a unicorn

She lashed out with her hooves and Zander came in with his sais slashing at their clothes.

As Minsk climaxed she threw back her head and sang a single high pitched note.

Edward climaxed as well and responded in high tenor timbre.

Matoaka charged. Zander slashed.

Donald McRonald stumbled backwards out the door and fell down the steps. Linda came tumbling after and fell on top of him. "This is how Operation Tiger begins?" she said. "Your plan is a failure."

Matoaka made a leap out of the front door and threatened Donald with her long curved unicorn horn. Donald jumped up and started running down the street.

"Wait for me!" Linda cried and ran after him.

Matoaka and Zander stood in the front yard laughing. "Do you think they get the idea they aren't wanted around here?" Zander said.

"I hope so. Our little Minsk deserves some peace and calm."

Meanwhile Minsk was toweling the sweat off her chest. "Oh wow! Edward! Let's do that again."
Edward was snoozing in bed

"I guess what they say about men is true." Minsk whispered smiling "Unless the women turns into a pizza the man usuly falls asleep."

Half a smile appeared on Edward's face giving away the fact he was pretending to sleep.

Minsk climbed into bed with him and closed her eyes....

Meanwhile at the zoo Dr. Noog was going through his normal routine of opening the zoo the the public.

He unlocked the gate and breathed the feces-heavy scent of zoo air.

As he got to the first exibat which was the seal pond, he looked and noticed their was not a single seal swimming or basking in the sun

But before he could ponder this he felt himself being lifted into the air!

He saw the bull elephant had him in his trunk

"Put me down!" Screamed Dr. Noog

The elephant held Dr Noog high in the air while the other animals quietly formed a circle.

The lion stepped forward. "Dr Noog. For your crimes against the animal kingdom you have been judged guilty. You must be punished."

Dr Noog flapped his arms. "But I don't hate animals! I love animals! Muggles, my little monkey friend! Haven't I been good to you?"

Muggles said nothing. He just crapped into his hand and threw his feces at Dr Noog's head. The other animals cheered.

Lenny the Schizo Leopard snarled, "Can we rip him to pieces now?"
Dr. Noog was ripped to pieces by the animals he had made so miserable. The carnivores ate his fleash the the herbivores played soccer with his bones.

Meanwhile with our heroes it was the day before halloween and eveyone was getting ready for it.

At school the students Jim, Bill and Ichabod were finishing a crreative writing assighnment about Halloween

But Jim was hungery for lunch therefore the end of his scary story was very food oriented...

...And so the giant baked potato ravished the cup of coffee thereby...

... filling himself with caffeine. Now the giant baked potatoe, GBP, was not only carbo-loaded but on a caffeine high. He ran to the cafeteria and grabbed a pound of butter from the refrigerator and rubbed it all over himself. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" he screamed.

The SWAT team assembled just outside the main doors to the cafeteria. "Aim for his eyes!"

The chief raised his bullhorn. "Listen to me, GBP! You can't win! Release the hostage and give yourself up."

The hostage was Irma Onepanty, one of the servers on the cafeteria line. The giant baked potato ripped off Irma's hairnet. "Did you see that, coppers? I won't stop there if you step one foot inside this cafeteria."

"What do you want?" bullhorned the chief.

"I want a million dollars and a helicopter. I want my freedom. I want LIFE!"

"And what do we get? One 50-something spinster cafeteria worker?"

GDP tightened his grip on Irma's neck. "That's right! Now you've got a very important decision to make... Deal or no deal?"
"Times Up!" Mr. Mark said "Please put down your pencils and turn in your stories."

"Aw dang." Muttered Jim

As the friends sat outside eating lunch Bill cuaght the scent of a fresh female.

And there he saw her... Brown hair... brown eyes, freckles... She was lovely!

She was sitting with Jim's girlfriend Jordan Celt... So he turned to Jim on his left

"Who is she?"

Jim nibbled his nuts "Oh her? That's Sammantha Star."

"I must have her." Bill said

"Well you can't," Jim said. "She belongs to Brad Stud, the quarterback on the football team."

"I know who Brad Stud is," Bill said. "I go to this school, too, you know."

"And Brad Stud has friends," Jim said. "The Stud Duds. That's what they call his gang."

"I know, I know! Dammit Jim, why are you talking to me like I'm the new kid in town? I know this school better than you do."

"Did you know Mr Maple, the maths prof, was bonking Gloria Smoothskin?"

"Er... no. But so many people are bonking so many other people it's hard to keep track."

"But he's a teacher!" Jim said, "and she's only a sophomore. Is that right?"

"Well she did get held back a zillion times in middle school. She's like 23 now."

"Do you think she'll ever graduate?"

"She doesn't want to graduate. She just wants to keep repeating Mr Maple's math class."

"You'd think she would have learned 1 plus 1 equals 2 by now."

Winston Noog walked up. "Hey, did you guys hear about what happened to my dad?"

Bill and Jim shook their heads.

"He was ripped to pieces by a bunch of angry zoo animals!"

"Wow! You don't seem very sad about it."

"He wasn't my real dad and he was abusive. He abused me and he abused those animals. I'm glad they did it!"

"That's harsh. How many pieces?"

"At least a hundred they said."

Jim let out a long whistle. "That's a lot of pieces. I guess it won't be an open casket funeral."

"No. They already cremated him. Want to see some of his ashes?" Winston pulled out a small plastic bag with some gray powder in it. "See? I saved some from the urn."

Jim admired the ashes. "Cool. I want to be cremated when I die."

Winston motioned the two boys closer. "Did you hear about what happened to Samantha Star?"
"Her parents died when she was 8" Winston said

"Really?" The two boys said in unison

"Really." Said Winston "So she was sent to live with her aunt and uncle who happaned to be marine biologists. One day they went sailing in some stormy weather and Samantha got washed overboard."

The boys were spellbound listning

"They found her three days later, half drowned and nearly frozan to death but when she came back she was never the same... Now she prefers animals to people!"

"Really?" The two boys asked in unison Winston nodded

"I think the reason she and her family moved here from Florida is hide from the scandal she cuased by doing... unspeakable things with the fish in the aquaium!"

Bill thought 'If she prefers animals I may have a chance with her...'

Jim looked at his friend. "What are you thinking, Bill? You have this goofy look on your face."

Bill shook himself and wiped the drool from his chin. "What do you think Samantha sees in that Brad Stud? He's basically a jerk."

"Maybe she doesn't see anything in him. I think it's mostly his idea that they are a couple. I don't think she looks that happy with him."

"Jimbo, are you encouraging me to make a move and try to break up Brad and Samantha?"

Jim grinned. "If that's what it takes to make you stop drooling."

Bill grabbed Jim's shoulders. "You heard what Winston said! She prefers animals to humans! Animals, Jim! But she can't have an animal for a boyfriend... or CAN she? Oh yes! A Manimal! Now you're happy, Samantha! Got yourself a Manimal!"

Jim pushed Bill away. "Quit shaking me. Yeah, okay, go for it. So what are you going to do? Have a big fight with Brad?"

"That was a part of my plan."

Jim laughed. "What plan? You've got no plan. You're like Tarzan. Me want Samantha. Me fight Brad. Me take Samantha."

Bill frowned. "I'm more subtle than that."
Bill grabbed Bob (who had just finished his fried egg sandwich) and hualed him out to where Brad and his buddies were.

"Oh boys!" Bill called in his sing-song voice "Look what I got here!"

He pulled out Bob "Hey where the cheerleaders at?" Bob asked

Brad and his buds went after them only to be subdued with a mild helping of fear gas.

"Why me?" Bob asked "Everyone knows I don't like cheerleaders I'm gay!"

"Ichabod is too proud to let himself be used as bait." Bill responded "And besides he would know that I stole a portion of his family's fear gas!"

Bob whistled "If this is how you treat your friends I'd hate to see what you do to your enemies.

Normaly, Bill would've told Bob to shut up but he didn't mainly becuase the words were true and they stung.

Jordan was talking to Samantha about the Halloween party she was throwing

"You will be there won't you?" Jordan asked

"Sure I'll be there." She said

"What will you dress up as?"

"A vampire I think and you?"

"I'm keeping that a secret until the party." Jordan winked

It was than Bill decided to make his move

Yes, Bill thought, the Halloween Party will be the perfect place to make my move. I'll go as Iron Man. I'll wear the mask and Samantha won't know it's me. I can chat her up, see what she really thinks, and then dance with her and let her feel my charisma. After she experiences 'the Bill' then 'the Brad' won't seem so great.

"What are you thinking about now?" Jim asked. "You've got that goofy look again."

"Just making my plans, Jimbo. Just making my plans."

Samantha was in her bedroom with her friend Vickie. They were working on their costumes. Vickie adjusted her gold halter top. "Do you think this is too revealing?"

"Not for me," Samantha said. "You can only see the tops of your boobies."

"Yeah, but look what happens when I lean over."

"Wow! So just don't lean over. Or if you do lean over then do it at the right time."

Vickie giggled. "You mean when Bill is there?"

"Yeah," Samantha said. "Does he know you like him?"

"I don't think so. I know I sure didn't tell him. I heard a funny thing in gym. Gloria said she thinks Bill has a crush on you."

"On ME!?" Samantha said. "Not too likely. Everybody knows I'm with Brad."

"So? That wouldn't stop Bill. He's like a bull when he wants something."

Samantha put her arm around her friend's shoulder. "Don't worry, Vic, Bill is all yours. I'm not going to get in the way."
(Steve, Bill is going as Mick Jagger remember?)

Bill put on a black spandex top, ripped leather pants and some fine black boots.

He even put on a black wig, when he was done he looked like a damn fine Mick Jagger

"Oh yeah!" He said "Tonight's the night!"

Jim meanwhile was dressing Seymore Kelborne from Little Shop of Horrors

"Ichabod will probbaly hate me for this but I don't care." He luaghed as he adjusted his glasses

Bob was going as Richard Simmons which looked REALLY scary!

At the Halloween party at Jordan's house everything was going smooth. Jordan had completed her costume, as Scarllet O,Hara from Gone with the Wind and see saw Jim helping himself to a third helping of sugar cubes. everything was going excatly as planned.

Bill noticed Ichabod standing by himself in a corner in a ragged Irish immegrant costume, not looking very pleased to be here.

"Why so glum chum?" Asked Bill

"I never have fun at parties." Ichabod said "And I think Jim is dressing up like Seymore Krelborne just to tick me off"

"Still sore about the time we picked on you after we cuaght you singing a song to your venus flytrap?" Bill asked slyly

Ichabod huffed and said nothing more.

Bill just turned to the punch bowl and helped himself to another helping of punch. It was than that some practical joker decided to put an ice cube down Bill's shirt.

Bill jumped up with start! He leaped and hopped, his horns,tail and bull ears sprouting!

Samantha was with Vickie when they both saw Bill bellowing and turning into a bull in front of everyone!

Samantha rubbed her eyes once than twice a boy turning into a bull! It was like something out of her wildest erotic dreams!

Even Samantha's Aunt Griselda, a professional dream interpreter, thought Samantha's dreams were highly unusual. The dreams had started shortly after Samantha had her first menstrual event. She would never have told anyone about them, but knowing that her Aunt was a professional dream interpreter and could be trusted to keep it confidential, Samantha had told her Aunt everything. Her Aunt struggled to keep the surprise and shock out of her eyes. Finally she told Sam that it wasn't unusual to have erotic dreams and she should not worry. After Samantha left, Griselda shook her head and thought, Wow! Those are some unusual dreams she's having, I'm worried.

Now, Samantha stood stock still in her vampire costume staring across the room at the man/bull of her dreams with his nostrils snorting, his tail twitching.

Everyone was staring at Bill the bull. He leaped through the patio doors and out into the backyard.

Samantha ran after him and grabbed his shoulder. "Bill! Are you alright? What happened?"

He whirled around. "It was that damn ice cube. I didn't want to make an impression on you THIS way. Now you'll never like me."

"What are you talking about, Bill?"

"I've been thinking about you all the time, Samantha. Tonight I wanted to talk to you, dance with you, have a good time... now THIS."

Samantha rubbed his neck. "Oh Bill, it's okay. Don't be upset."

Having Sam so close was too much for Bill and he wrapped his arms around her and hungrily kissed her. She didn't pull back and they fell over on the grass.

"Oh Sam, Sam, you're wonderful..."


Some of the party guests had come out on the patio. Now they began to whistle and catcall at the scene in the yard. "Hey, why don't you guys get a room?"

Bill stood up. "Get on my back, Sam!"

Samantha instantly knew what he meant and mounted him like he was a horse. He ran off with her into the woods behind Jordan's house.

On the patio Jim and Jordan and Vickie watched them run away.

"Wow, " Vickie said. "I didn't see THAT coming."

Bill and Smantha stopped when they reached the stream, She slid off his back and they sat beneath an old oak tree

"You know, Vickie was interested in you before she saw you were a bull but I don't think she'll be interested now."

Bill smiled "So... Why do you prefer animals to people?"

"That started when I was 8" She said "I was with my aunt and uncle on their boat. A storm came and I got swept overboard however the dolphins rescued me and they took me to the kingdom under the sea..."

"... where I was introduced to the king and queen of Dolphania. Their son, Prince Chipper, was a handsome dolphin with shimmering skin and a twinkling eye. I fell in love with him instantly. We were to be married. But an evil octopus named Orville Rickenbacker kidnapped me on the day of the wedding. I screamed and screamed (you should have seen all the bubbles) but no one heard me. Orville kept me a prisoner for 3 months and then one day while he was busy trying to open a giant clamshell I managed to wriggle free. I hurried back to Dolphania but while I was gone Prince Chipper had married someone else, a mermaid named Aquamarine Jones. What a little bitch! But apparently when dolphins want to get married they just have to do it right away. So naturally I was very upset and I cursed out everyone -- the prince, the king, the queen -- but they just pretended I wasn't there. I went off in a huff. For awhile I thought maybe I would just go back and live with Orville. During the three months I lived with him I had kind of grown fond of tentacles. They are so versatile! But instead I..."

Bill grew sleepy as Samantha droned on. Geez! What a flake she was! Did she think he believed that story about the sea? Thank God she had such a great body. He could overlook a lot because she really had a fine-looking body. Mmmm-hmmm! Nice body... but did she ever stop talking? He tuned back in to her story.

"... and so then," Samantha was saying, "I realized that maybe I did miss my Aunt and Uncle and Mom and Dad just a teensy little bit, so I decided I would leave the sea and go back on land for a visit, so I swam around looking for the boat..."
'Wow.' Bill thought 'Three days of near drowning must've really sent her on roller-coaster of a hallucenation!'

He felt pity for the poor girl thinking she was to marry a dolphin and other such nonsense..

"There was something else I learned to..." Samantha murmured

Bill perked up he ears to listen even though he felt a massive craving for honey-mustard pretzals at the moment...

"When I was staying at Dolphania the kingdom was under constant attack! Whale hunters with harpoons threatend to kill the whale subjects! And greedy oil companies tried to drill for oil at the royal castle!"

Bill didn't know weather to be bemused or shocked

"After that I came to see all humans as greedy earth-murdurers! I can't look at a human human without seeing their ugliness, and when I hit puberty my sexual love for animals really formed it did not matter weather they were sea beasts or land beasts, wild or tame..."

Bill looked thoughtful for a moment "Wow." he said "I never knew..."

Suddenly Samantha threw her arms around Bill and hugged him tightly. "Oh love me, Bill! Love me like the animal you are!"

"I will! I will!" And Bill never felt more like a powerful bull than he did at that moment. They coupled there in the woods and the trees shook. Birds flew up, twittering with surprise, and an angry squirrel chattered at them for disturbing his tree.

Back at the party everyone had gone back inside where the music was.. and the booze. Vickie sat in a chair trying to decide whether to be sad or to be angry - sad that she had lost Bill to Samantha - or angry that Samantha had stolen Bill from her. Finally she decided to be both and that meant she would have to get drunk.

She grabbed Ichabod by the arm. "Ichy, you big stud! Get me a drink!"

Ichabod blushed at the idea of a cute girl like Vickie calling him a stud, but he hurried off to get her the drink.

She was still sitting in the chair when he got back. He had half expected her to be gone. "Sit here with me," she said, and made room for him beside her in the chair.

He sat down carefully, but there was no way not to be squeezed up against her in the armchair. Immediately he felt his penis grow stiff in his pants.

"You're kind of cute, Ichy," Vickie said and Ichabod trembled, nervous as hell and unable to think of a thing to say. The thought kept spinning around in his head that if she and he were a couple they would be Ichy and Vickie. He could almost hear the other kids viciously chanting it - Ichy and Vickie! Ichy and Vickie! Ichy and Vickie!

Vickie stroked his arm. "Ichy! Why are you trembling like a scared cat? Haven't you ever been with a girl before?" She was going to laugh but then she noticed the huge rise in his lap and she gulped. My goodness! He must really be hung to make a tent like that. She tilted up her drink and downed it all in one long swallow.
Ichabod felt a little bit hopeful, but also a little bit skeptical. Vickie was hot and all but she was also acting like a bit of a slut which made him nervous.

Alice Tetch was watching (She was dressed up as Alice in Wonderland) she saw Ichabod with Vickie and right away she was envious.

She took a stawberry from the fruit bowl and threw it at the back of his head!

"Ow!" He said than he saw Alice

"Will you excuse me?" He said and he quickly ran off

Jim and Bob saw the whole thing and they quietly snickered.

Meanwhile Bill and Samantha were still in the forest looking at the October sky.

They lay as quiet as shadows.

Jim and Jordan found a quiet corner and began to chat.

"So...You're from England?" Jim asks "What made you come to the US?"

Jordan cleared her throaght "Legal reasons. My father has done things... things we don't like to talk about."

"Would it be better if I don't press any further on the subject?" Jim asked

"Would you?" She replied

For a second they were quiet "So... What's your family history?" She asked

"My Pops is the son of an Irish immegrant." Jim said "Sometimes he tries a little too much to teach me how to be Irish."

"I noticed you sometimes speak with an Irish accent when you're mad." She said

"I can turn the accent on and off anytime I want sometimes I use it to scare our enemies."

And what about Bob Butz you are thinking - what was HE doing? Well, Bob didn't get invited to the party - too fat, too many pimples, too much tape on his dork glasses, too many days of uncontrollable farting - and of course, his shoes.

Bob wore big black blocky shoes which his mother made him shine every day. They had leather soles with metal sole protectors and you could hear Bob walking down the corridors at school with a tap, tap, tap that was unmistakeable. You could be sitting in class absorbed in an exam, everybody quiet and concentrating, and Bob would get up to sharpen his pencil. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap... Then you would sigh and hunch your shoulders and try not to listen to it.

However, in a way Bob WAS at the party, he just wasn't IN the party. Bob was hiding in the shrubbery, watching and listening. Ordinarily I try to defend Bob because he's the underdog, but I can't defend what he did when he saw Bill and Samantha run off into the woods. Bob followed them and spied on them. While Bill snorted and Samantha moaned, Bob was hiding behind a tree, or most of him was hiding behind a tree. Part of him was sticking out so far it looked like an extra branch. Bob would sleep good that night. He didn't have sex with other people very often - because often they caught him watching them and shooed him away - but Bill and Sam never even noticed him. So he was able to stay and have sex with them twice. Later Bob snuggled into his flannel sheets with the Speed Racer print and immediately fell into a deep restful sleep.
Just than the branch he was on began to crack! Crick-crack-crick-crack SNAP!

Bob landed on his head and was knocked out cold! He landed near Bill and Sam.

Well, well, well said Bill "Looks like we have a fish in our midst!"

Meanwhile Minsk and Edward were at HQ planning their trip to Russia

"I'll need another suitcase, Eddie."

"But Minsk, you've already packed three! Do you have to take ALL of your clothes to Russia with us?"

"But Eddie, we'll be there a long time. I have to have things to wear."

"Can't you just wash them?"

"We could buy new clothes for me in Russia..."

"Oh... I'll get you another suitcase."
Soon they finished packing and they lay in bed together

"I'm just wondering what they will think of me... now that I'm a manimal... and I wonder what will they think of you...Edward?"

Edward was fast asleep

Meanwhile the Animals had escaped their zoo and on their way to the 'promised land"

A young elephant looked around and said "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Yes." said the lion

The animals were walking towards Las Vegas.

Back with Edward and Minsk they had woken up and were on their way to the airport.

"Good bye." Matoaka wished her best friend well.

"Bye." Minsk reterned

On the plane Edward put on headphones to his walkman and began to listen to 'Europe for Dummies Part 6: Russia' He knew that Minsk's siblings would not know much english so he knew he had to learn how to speak Russian

Minsk sighed and stroked her swollen belly, she wonered what her family would think of Edward. The younger siblings might like him. But Dimetri...

A thought struck her She taped Edward's shoulder

"How old are you exactly?" She asked

"25." He replied calmly

"That would make you 3 years older than Dimetri." She mused

"Is he your... older brother?" Edward asked

"Yes he is the oldest sibling in the family. I was born right after him."

"Something is troubling you... what is it?"

"Dimetri is... very... firey tempered and very... stubborn. Now Mother is dead he is now head of the household with one little sister and two boys to look after."

Edward was very wise he could see where Minsk was going

"So you're saying he would see me a threat to his manhood?" He prodded.

Minsk nodded

The plane landed in Moscow and Edward and Minsk struggled through customs.

"I told you not to bring so many suitcases!" Edward hissed.

"Oh be quiet, Edward. I'm not like you who can live in one shirt for a week until the smell is so bad that people wish me to take a bath."

Edward grinned. "Okay, I don't want to fight with you. We have to catch the train to your village in 3 hours. Maybe we should get something to eat, huh?"

"Sounds good to me. I am starving. I want some potatoes and cabbage. There is nothing better than Russian cabbage."

A man in a black overcoat walked up to them. "Excuse me, but I overheard you talking about restaurants. There is a good place to eat very close to here called Vlad's Veggies. I'm going there myself. I'll be glad to show you the way."

"Thanks!" Edward said. "I'm Edward and this is Minsk."

"Charmed. I'm Count Brinkonovsky."

"I didn't think they had counts in Russia anymore," Edward said.

"Oh, I'm not Russian. I'm from Transylvania. Look, here is Vlad's place. Shall we share a table?"
After lunch they began on their way to the villiage.

They arrived promptly at 1:00 as they reached the cottage where Minsk once lived she took a deep breath and knocked the the door.

"A young boy opened the door a peek."

"Hello?" asked the boy nervously

"Ferb? Is that you? It's me Minsk."

Suddenly two boys and a girl rushed out and tackled her! They were Ferb, Phinnias and Anya respectivly

"We're so glad to see you!" Anya said

"Where did you go? You never said good-bye." Said Phinnias

"I'm sorry," Minsk said. "I've missed you so much!"

"Then why did you never write? And why did you leave in the first place?"

"Such questions! So many questions! Look, this is my... husband, Edward. Aren't you going to ask us in?"

"Come on in, then. We wondered what happened to you. We thought you were dead. Why did you marry him?"

Minsk took off her jacket. "I know you guys have lots of questions but just let me and Edward rest a moment first, okay? Then we'll talk about those things."

"Where do you live now? In Moscow?"

"No, we live in America."

"America! Why did you go there?"
Minsk looked at Edward, a little unsure of herself.

"I had... reasons." She said

"Reasons? Is that what you call being a lazy slut?"

Dimetri was there in the corner brooding

Minsk was afraid of this

Dimetri looked positivly ill! His brown hair ragged, his stubby beard dripping from his chin.

He got and moved toward Minsk, she began to back away.

"Face it Minsk. You just coulden't handle the fact you had to be a prostitute, so you ran away to hide the shame. Why didn't you just stay in America insted of coming back to rub your newfound welth in our faces?"

Dimetri didn't get any further than that for Edward grabbed by the shoul.ders and pushed him against the wall.
"Is this any way to treat your sister?" Edward shouted.

"Eddie!" screamed Minsk. "Please don't! He has a right to be upset! I did a terrible thing!"

"No!" Edward said. "You did what you had to do. And now you have come back to make it right, what do you get? Disrespect and resentment! We should never have come to Russia."

Dimetri pushed Edward away. "Get your hands off of me!"

Anya grabbed Dimetri's arm. "Please don't fight!"

"Little Phinnias looked up at Minsk with big eyes. "This is why you left, isn't it? You didn't like us because we shout and fight all the time."

Minsk hugged him. "No, I like you."

Edward and Dimetri stood glaring at each other.
Dimetri just glared and glared until Dimetri said

"We'll talk later. Right now I need to go to work."

And with that he left.

"What sort of work dose he do?" Minsk asked Anya

"He works as a farm hand. Everyday he milks the goats and shears the sheep to collect a little money for us."

"No wonder he looks so ill." Minsk murmured

"He needs to improve his personality," Edward said. "Maybe then he would do better in life."

Anya pushed Eddie. "Shut up! Demetri is good to us. He kept this family together when SHE ran away!" Anya pointed at Minsk.

Minsk sighed and sat down heavily. "What a homecoming. I didn't expect it to be like this. Listen, Anya, I want to make it up to all of you. Me and Eddie are going to send you money every month to help out. Aren't we, Eddie?"

"Huh? What? Don't you think we should discuss this first, dear?"


"Yes, yes, of course we'll help out. But we aren't rich so don't get your hopes up too high. We'll do what we can."

Ferb tugged Eddie's arm. "You are a good man."
Minsk looked at her siblings and her soulmate, sighed and rubbed her hands.

"There is something I need to tell all of you."

She rose to her feet and pressed a nerve on her forehead, thereby transforming herself into her mink/hybrid self.

"When I first came to America I didn't know any English and I didn't have anywhere to live. Fortunetly a kind scientist found me and promised me food and shelter if I agreed to take part in an experiment."

"So the scientist turned you into a weasel?" Anya asked

"Actuely I'm a mink. You know, the kind we used to see by the pond."

Her younger siblings were not afraid of her beastly shape in fact they seemed to like her new furry form

"I'm not a teddy bear Don't squeeze me so hard!" Minsk gasped. Her little brothers had gone wild at the sight of fur and wrestled her to the ground with much laughing and giggling.

Edward smiled. It looked like everything might turn out all right after all. He could talk to Demetri and resolve that conflict. He saw that Anya was hanging back from the wrestling match. "You don't won't to play with them?"

Anya shrugged. "My brothers are too rough for me. I never wrestle witht hem. I hope they don't hurt Minsk."

"Don't worry. Minsk is tough. She can handle two little boys. Do you have any dolls, Anya? What do you like to do."

"I have one doll, my Karina. She is a ballet dancer, a great ballerina."

"Only one doll?"

"No, I have more, but Karina is my favorite."

"Do you have any book?" Edward asked

"Only a few." Anya said

Edward looked thoughtful.

"I happan to be a writer." He said "I mostly write grown up books but..."

He looked through his duffle bag... "... I have written something you might like."

He pulled out a book. It featured a ballet dancing elephant on the cover "It's called 'Old Fashioned Dance.' Sort of a fable about ballet with talking animals

"Thank you so much!" Anya said

Anya ran over to her bed and pulled out a wooden box from underneath. She found something small in it and hurried back over to Edward with her fist closed.

"For you," she said, and opened her hand.

"It's beautiful!" Edward picked up the small pebble. It was translucent like quartz but seemed to have colors flickering deep inside it.

"It's magic," Anya said.

A sudden shiver passed down Edward's spine as he stared at the flickering colors. "Thank you, Anya. Does it... do anything magical?"

"It's a wishing stone. You make a wish, only one wish, and when it comes true you must give the stone to your friend."

Eddie gazed at the colored lights in the stone. "What did you wish for?"

"I wished that I would see my big sister again."
Edward was quiet for a while. Something about that filled him with strange feelings.

When Dimetri came home Minsk had reterned to human form and she and Edward laid out their plan

"Listen." Edward said "I'm a writer. I can submit my stories to magizines and I'll share whatever money I get with the household."

"Well" Dimetri said thoughtfully "It sounds like a good deal..."

Meanwhile thousands of miles away....the zoo animals had found Las Vegas

"This is IT?!" Muggles said "This is the Promised Land?!"

"My Eyes they burn!" Screeched the Python

Meanwhile in America Bill and Jim were talking with Ichabod.

"We never did find out who was behind the fear gas attacks" Bill said

"I assure you it was neither me nor my father" Ichabod said

"I think it may have been the Beastials" Bill said
"Those damn Beastials!" Jim said. "I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!"

Bill nodded. "How do you think I feel? I'm got raped by an alligator. That's not a pleasant experience. But why do YOU hate them so much?"

Jim hung his head. "I'm not talking about it. Let's just say that what happened to you was like a birthday party compared to what happened to me."

Ichabod looked back and forth from Bill to Jim. "Wow! You guys have had some awful experiences with the Beastials.Good thing there all back in Marvel Country."

Bill looked hard at Ichabod. "Are you sure? Sometimes the Beastials wear a human disguise. Think hard. Has anything really strange happened to you?"
Ichabod thought real hard about it. "Not that I'm aware of."

"So Jim what did they do to you?"

"They stole my sword."

"They just stole your sword?" Bill snorted "Compared to being raped having your sword stolen..."

Suddenly Bill felt a chill run down his spine "They stole your Space Sword?!"

"Yes." Jim said "This Tiger Man stole my sword while I was sleeping! I cuaght him running away with it!"

"Jim!" Bill shrieked "If those Beastials discover your swords magic powers they could use it for evil ends!"

"Jim has a magic sword?!" Asked Ichabod "How come I never knew anything about it?

"I don't tell you every little thing," Jim said.

"But that's not a little thing! That's huge! A magic sword? I should have been told!"

"Oh, calm down, Ichy," Jim said. "I didn't tell you because it got stolen. What was the point of telling you about something I didn't have anymore?"

Ichy frowned. "You almost make sense. But I wish you'd told me."

"I'll tell you about the next thing."

Bill was clenching his fists. "You know what?... I think I'm in the mood for kicking some Beastial butt. What about you guys?"

Jim and Ichabod laughed.

"No, I'm serious," Bill said. "Raping me, stealing Jim's sword. Those guys are obnoxious. They need their butts kicked."
"Bill." Jim said "Those Beastials are like Apollo Creed. Remember how helpless you were before them? That Gator would their you a new bellybutton on a whim!"

"And I can't fight being a 97 pound weakling." Ichabod replied

Bill thought deeply searching his memory for something...

He remembered evesdropping on Matoaka and Tropfor the Octo as he gave her the whip he would come to wear on his tail.

"This whip is very special." The Octo had said "When worn by someone with a heroic heart the whip will generate lightning!"
Bill and his friends would have to put their plans on hold for the beastials would only retern to Earth during December

Stay tuned this Holiday for the obligitory Christmas special!

It will be a very special episode

The End!

© Copyright 2008 Twiga, Steev the Friction Wizurd, xx-xx, (known as GROUP).
All rights reserved.
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