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You are the animal, and the story is told through animal eyes. |
| [Introduction]
Story line, we the animals of the world are deciding that we want to know what life would be like if animals were to rule the world. So we are going to rewrite history.
Two things I want to stress. Please do not include humans unless it involves food, and two remember we have been oppressed for a very long time and it is time to make the humans realize just how much we mean to them. Please keep in the PG rating, thank you. Bovine Bessie |
| Moo, Moo, MOO. {Animals of the world we must unite in our cause to fight for our rights as animals. No more product testing on our fur, skin, bodies. We must stand up to cloning, chemicals in our foods, the inhumane treatment. Stop pulling the wagons, the plows, stop being being led by a leash.}
Moo, MOO, {who is with me. Put your paw, hoof, webbed feet, in the air and lets march to the capital.} Moo {I'll be your leader, fall in line behind me and let's go} Moo...Moo... moomoomoo {cadence...Left...Left...Left Right Left} |
| Bark, Bark, BARK {where ever that cow and the duck go I am there. My man give me my dog food, may he get his own slippers, and get his own mail}
Roof {My human has been good to me though, he let's me get on the furniture, he let's me clean his plate, he even rubs my belly, and gives me rawhides to chew on. Good Human} Bark, Roof, and a wag of the tail {I'm happy, but I will do what I have to stand up for my animal rights} "Here Jake, here boy" Grrrrr {it must be dinner time. I'll catch up} |
| GGRrrowwwll. I'm sick and tired of being hunted down by human predators.
RRooaarr. I do not want to be put in a zoo to be put on display for all of humanity to see me and gawk and take pictures like they have never seen a tiger before. I want to hunt and follow my natural instincts. To be the leader in the jungle, to be able to luxurate in my natural habitat and purr and clean my claws after a kill, then take a long, over-due nap. So, growllll, I'm going to follow bessie, duck and jake on this mission to overtake the world and make humans bow to us. |
| Tweet-tweet, I am tired of being in a cage. Dumb humans think I am a toy! I will bite the next one that sticks their hand in here.
Tweet-tweet, Open this door so I can escape! ( Humans open the door to play with me) Tweet-tweet, I am free! I will fly out this window and join Bessie, duck, jake and the tiger on their fight to overtake this world! Tweet-tweet, and maybe drop something on a humans head! Tweet-tweet! |
| After the speeches were made, my united band of unlikely animals start marching up the coast. Our parade of animals is led by me, an adventurous Holstein, followed by a duck, 2 dogs, a tiger, a bird, a cat, lamb, gorilla, snake, a bee and a slow moving tortoise.
The humans are taking little notice of us until we pass by and they see our entrails. We have more and more animals joining our ranks. Neigh, neigh{Wait for me. I'm tired of pulling this buckboard around for someone who doesn't appreciate me} Neigh, Neigh, Neigh{driver get off or else} "Whoa, Whoa Nellie, Whoa" said the driver of the horse and buggy, before falling off. The Gorilla was smart enough to put the tortoise and the snake on the buggy, as he grabbed the reigns. Moo{Shall we continue now} Moo, Moo{We have only just begun are travels to the Capital building.} |
| ...Ok so it isn't so simple} Moo, MOO, Moo{We could send in the snake and the gorilla}
BARK BARK{Bessie, that won't work. Half of the politicians are snakes in their own right and the other half act like apes any ways.} Moo{what is your plan then Jake?} The loyal Golden Retriever runs into the capital building, grabs the Speaker of the House by the soft spot on his britches and drags him out. Moo, MOO, MOO {Good job Jake. Mr. Speaker, clear out the senate so this can be a peacuful take over.} MOO, Moo {As you can see we are not animal activist's wearing costumes, we are animals.} MOO MOO MOO{We are from your backyards, we are animals from your zoos, we are pretty pissed off animals} The Speaker of the House nods like he undersatnds what I was saying and he walks into the Capital building and pulls the fire alarm. The senators, staff members, and aides all come walking out of the building. Sirens are heard in the back ground... |
| Tweet-tweet (Now I shall attack from above!)
Tweet-tweet (I will fly over these insufferable humans and drop them some presents!) All of the humans are running and covering their heads, but to no avail. They get hit on the head, the face and all over their nice clean suits! Tweet-tweet (We will control the world now! You humans just mess everything up!) Tweet-tweet (Let's get them my friends!) |
| In the Senate Building...
Moo,MOOmooMOO, MOO{We the animals of the world are putting our hoofs, paws, pads, and webbed feet down.} Moo MOO{from this minute forward we are no longer just animals, We are a FORCE to be dealt with.} MOO MOO{From this moment forward we will draft our own "Bill of Rights"} MOOOOO{We will write our own Constitution, we will write our own laws.} MOOOOOO, Mooo{The first law, and from this moment on, there will not be no food chain in the animal kingdom. Do not take out your hunger on the slower, smaller animals. Learn to get along, or learn to get on away from the other animals.} MOOOOO{Law two, I'll think of that later} The Senate is a flurry of animal noises as Bessie is beating her tail on the Speaker's podium. Moo{parakeet is going to be our official spokesanimal, her job will be to deliver our demands to the President of the United States} |
| The Bush's, the V.P and his family all walk out of the White House with their luggage. They are lead to their cars with the secret service, holding off the jeering animals. Only a handful of agents are accompaning the Former leaders of the free world. The rest of them are stepping in cow pies and pledging their loyalty to the new President of the United States. Bessie walks into the White House and straight to the balcony outside of the Oval Office.
Moo{Everyone, I would like to introduce you to the Vice President...Mr. Duck} Moo{The Speaker of the House, Madam Parakete} Moo{our Spokesanimal is the brave Madam Parakete} Moo{Secretary of Defense is Madam Tiger} Moo{Secretary of the Interior is Mr. Golden Retriever} Moo{Secretary of Transportation is Mr. Horse} MOO Moo{more cabinet positions will be annouced at a future time} Bessie walks into the Oval Office and stands behind the desk and takes a nap... As the animals out in the First Lawn are... |
| are making a mess! Madam Speaker chirps out, (Tweet-tweet! Chirp!) Go out back and do that!
(Tweet-tweet) Bessie what is our next plan of action? (moo-mooooo) I think we need to get some fooood! We also have to find someone who can milk me! (Moooo- moooo) I am getting full! (Tweet-tweet) Hey Tiger! Make that gorilla milk Bessie, he can do it. (Grrrowl-Grrr) Go milk Bessie! You are the only one who can! The ape gets a pail and puts it under Bessie. He sits down on the floor and starts milking her! (Meow-meow!) We want milk! We want milk! The ape finishes up with milking Bessie and gives some milk to the kitties. (Moo-moooo) Now we must have a meeting. |
| MOO moo{You would rather have a duck for President than a cow?}Moo Moo MOO{Where is your respect for the animal who started this whole revolution. If it wasn't for me you would still be in your little wire cage eating discarded birdseed, fed to you by greasy human fingers. What would you have done if those hands grabbed you and wanted to hold you. Do you peck at their hands? Do you spread your wings and hiss? And if you were to peck at them I hope they don't throw you at a wall or something.} MOO{So little bird are you ashamed at your decision to impeach me?} |
| Bessie gathered up her milking humans and she had them draw up signs and they spent all day posting them on fence posts and telephone poles all day. Unfortunately to the fowl(fool} in the White House he couldn't read. The signs said "Duck is officially in season. Happy Hunting" |
| MOO{This whole campfire is quacked up} Moo{I'm soory to be a cow with a plan. I have led my friends into the unknown and then they turn their back on me} {I must end this before it really gets out of hand I realize I was wrong and us animals need the people to survive or it will be the larger animals feeding on the little animals. It will be cat vs. cat. Feather vs. feather and so on.} |
This is the end of the Campfire. Thank you all for being good sports and good animals. Stay tuned for the next Bovine Bessie   campfire. I want to call it "Cattle Drive" I'm thinking it will be somewhat of a western, gone wrong of course. Let me know if you want to take part.The End! |
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