*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Get it for
Apple iOS.
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/1936340-The-Joke-Backfires
by Twiga
Rated: 13+ · Campfire Creative · Fiction · Animal · #1936340
Find out how Bill became Ichabod's mount
[Introduction] Early in Ichabod's Fellowship years, when he was just learning the ropes, the Humanimal Rodeo started, Bill of course wanted to follow in his Dad's footsteps, and be the one Bull no Human Cowboy could beat, in Bronco Busting

After an undefeated streak all the winning goes straight to Bill's head and seriously annoys his friends with his bragging, hoping to teach him a lesson Bill's friends goad him to swear the one Human to beat him will forever more be the one who rides him

Jim and Jordan also get Ichabod to enter the Rodeo to ride Bill, what will happen when the joke backfires?
The Rodeo throughout Humanimal History, was the one place where Humanimals were able to take revenge on Humans...If they were good enough

In the name of Sportsmanship Horse and Bull Humanimals could not be punished for bucking their riders in the Busting event, as you can't punish the rival team for winning the baseball game, you can not punish a Horse Man or Bull Man for bucking off a Human if that was the aim of the game

Bill's Dad Charles Brandy had been a champion bucker in his day, and Bill was determined to continue the tradition
"I don't think I'll like this sport," Ichabod said when he heard about it. "People could get hurt."
Jim says "Come on Ichabod, it's all in good fun."

Jordan says "Jim's right, and besides the trick we're going to play on Bill is completly harmless."

Ichabod says "Are you sure?"
Bob said "Bill has had a complete undefeated streak since the Rodeo began, that's all fine and good, but for the past three days he's been so obnoxious about it...Bragging at any opportunity! It's annoying! So we dared him."

"You dared him?" Ichabod did not like the sound of this

"We goaded him into swearing that the first Human who breaks him in the Bull Busting has to be his rider for all of time...We made him swear by the Heresy Stones."

"That is the most serious oath a Humanimal can make." Bob said "It's like swearing on the River Styx was for the Greek Gods."

"Will he be struck by lightning or something should he break his oath?" Ichabod asked

"Let's just say...Bad things happen." Jordan said

Ichabod gulped

"Why did you choose me again?" Ichabod asked "I'm really no athlete...I'm...Let's be honest I'm a complete wimp!"

"You've got long legs and arms." Jim said "You're good at running and swimming, besides you're really brave! You do have more strength then you realize Ichabod, you just have to look for it."
"I feel faint." Ichabod fell to his knees. "Do I have to?"
"How did you get me to do this?" Ichabod whispered with tears streaming down his face

"You know perfectly well." Jim said firmly

The night before, Jim approached Ichabod with a bet

"So...Hang on." Ichabod said "You're betting me...That's you're cool?"

"Yeah I'm cool." Jim said

"And if you're not cool...You have to change your name to...Kevin DuBrow, but if you are cool, I have to enter the Humanimal Rodeo?"

"That's the deal." Jim said "The total deal."

"You're going down Squirrel." Ichabod said

"No way." Said Jim

"All right." Let's see you be cool."

Jim took out a pair of cool shades and put them on, he took a few seconds to let it sink in

"Sup." Said Jim

"Crap!" Fumed Ichabod

"I'm still not sure why I agreed to your terms." Ichabod said fuming
Jim grinned. "We have our ways."
Bob says "Come on, let's get you ready."

Ichabod says "What do I do?"

Jim says "Just hang on, for 8 seconds."

Later on Jim and Bob comes to Bill's assigned stable with Ichabod all dressed up in western wear, looking almost like Will Rogers. Bill says "Him? All this and you give me him? This is too easy."
Bill's diss stirred something in Ichabod, it made him angry, he did not know why, it just made him really angry

'I'll do more then 8 seconds.' He thought 'I'm going to break you Bill...'

When the moment came, Ichabod kicked Bill with his spurs.

Bill bellowed in pain! He tried his hardest to dislodge Ichabod but Ichabod would not be dislodged

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way!" Ichabod said pulling on Bill's reigns

Bill kicked and bucked and thrashed, But Ichabod fueled by his own determination refused to be thrown off

'I'm dizzy!' He thought 'I'm nauseous! But I'm winning!'

Bill was getting pretty desperate, why could he not get this scrawny bag of bones off his back? He was starting to tire

Ichabod saw this as his chance and grabbed the reins and...
Bit Bill's ear.
Bill bellowed. "That is totally unfair!"

Meanwhile the seconds were ticking away. The crowd was cheering wildly.
Finally Bill fell to all fours, his legs shook, he was weak and tired

Ichabod was tired to, he was panting for breath.

Bill realized his promise...His promise was not the Human who held on for 8 seconds but the Human who BROKE him who get him to obey, would forever be his rider.

Bill shuddered, he felt cold dread in his heart that his friends deliberately chose Ichabod because they knew he would be the one to do it.

Ichabod had lost his hat, in the process, His Dad had given him the cowboy hat that went with his Scarecrow costume (Note at this point Ichabod HAS NOT reunited with his parents and he HAS NOT met Marzipan yet)

Ichabod mopped the sweat from his brow and ran his fingers through his red hair.

"Just goes to show." Ichabod said to the other cowboys "Never underestimate the little guy."

He kicked Bill with his spurs "Move along Bill."

Bill had no choice, he had to obey, he had sworn by the Heresy Stones
Ichabod felt he needed to go to the bathroom and tried to get off Bill but he seems stuck on Bill's saddle, but then he realized that he's been glued on. Bob and Jim must've put glue on the seat of Ichabod's pants insuring that he'll win. Bill says "Ichabod? What's going on?" Ichabod says "I'm stuck! I can't get off!"
Bill's eye twitched, he felt boiling hot rage begin to bubble up inside him

'What. The. Crap.' He thought to himself

Bob went into the coral and took a chisel to break the seal between Ichabod's bottom and the saddle.

Bill was not the only one who was shocked, Ichabod suddenly felt dismayed, he thought he had done that all himself now he realized that he had cheated without knowing.

But first he ran off to the bathroom

Once Ichabod was gone, Bill turned to Bob

"What the hell?" Bill said "Why did you cheat?"

"Bill." Bob started to say

"You set me up didn't you?!" Bill screamed "You made me swear by the heresy stones just to have the wimpiest loser ride me!"
Bob said "As I was about to tell you, it's to teach you a lesson."

Bill bellowed out "A LESSON?! WHAT KIND OF LESSON?!"

Bob said "That winning streak of yours was getting to your head, so Jim and I decided to set you up and loose to the most unlikly human, well sort of human."

Bill says "And Ichabod?"
Ichabod came out zipping up his fly

"Why did you make me cheat?" Ichabod asked "I'd rather lose fairly then win unfairly."

"Nonetheless you did tame Bill." Bob said "Bill is now forever yours to command."

"What?!" Bill nearly screamed

"Bill!" Ichabod said "Kneel!"

Bill felt compelled to obey, he kneeled, and Ichabod got on his back
As Ichabod got back onto Bill's saddle, Bill said "This is completely humiliating."

Bob just smiles and said...
Ichabod felt the surge of power go through him, and he liked it.

Mischievous thoughts crept into his head, he felt now was the time to get some payback for the time Bill stole his clothes when he went swimming.
"Let's see you dance in a pink tutu."
"Um...Ichabod, that's not how it works." Bob said "By 'under your command' I meant you can ride him whenever you want, not anything else...You are Bill's rider, he is your mount, forever and always, no more, no less."

"Ah." Ichabod said "That's good enough."

Ichabod took his riding crop and hit Bill's rear end

"Now git." Said Ichabod
Bill grunted in pain as he felt the sharp snap of the crop "Okay, okay." he cantored out of the coral and he and Ichabod went around the rodeo stables and outdoors where they see...

...three ostriches with their heads in the sand.

"I thought that was just a myth," Ichabod said.

"No, it happens," Bill said.

"Are they looking for something?"

"Who knows?" Bill's tone was very abrupt.

Ichabod said, "Bill? Are you mad at me because of what happened?"

"I guess it wasn't your fault. Maybe I am just mad at everybody."
Suddenly Bill felt very sick, he vomited

'Bill?" Ichabod said "Are you OK?"

"I think I just overexerted myself trying to throw you off at the rodeo." Bill said "I feel sick, please get off."

Ichabod got off Bill's back, Bill lay flat on his stomach

"Matoaka said you can give yourself a stomach virus by getting really angry." Bill said
"An ulcer, right?" Ichabod asked.

Bill nodded as he is about to hurl.

Ichabod is concerned about Bill's health and said "Due to your stomach problem, I believe I should let you off despite Bob's bet."

Bill "I think that'll bet the best idea. Thanks."

Ichabod "If you're finished, let's get you some antacid."

"Sure," Bill said. "Thanks, buddy."

"You're my friend, Bill."

They walked toward a drugstore. After a moment Ichabod said, "You weren't just faking being sick, were you?"

"Of course not. But I feel much better now."
Ichabod knew Bill would not induce vomiting for pity, Humanimals don't make themselves vomit for sympathy they are too practical for that kind of thing.

"I don't know why I got so mad." Ichabod said "What you said just really bugged me."

Bill sighed "I can understand...Little things can get under my skin as well...Bull seeing red."

"I read that Bulls are colorblind, they can't see red they respond to movement."

"Humanimal Bulls can see in any color a Human can." Bill said "Easier for defusing bombs you know...But normal Bovines aren't colorblind they just don't see as many colors as Humans...In normal Bovines yellow is a color they really do not like, it's too bright for them or something...Even with my human like vision, yellow is my least favorite color I do love the color blue."

"You do seem fond of your blond head fur though." Ichabod said

Bill ran his hand through the blond human like head hair "Well..." He said "There are exceptions, my head fur is honey gold colored which I find easer on the eyes then piss yellow color."

Ichabod couldn't help but laugh "Bill." He said "Why are you so funny without even trying?" Ichabod sighed "If you want I'll buy you a glass of milk for your stomach."
Bill said "Yeah, that'll be good. Promise you don't eat any hamburgers in front of me." Ichabod nods understandably.

The drugstore they went to has a little sit down restaurant. While Bill is having a glass of grade A milk, Ichabod is just having a glass of water and a....
...Bowl of Gazpacho, he was so hot and sweaty from working so hand that he was in no mood for anything hot.

Ichabod sipped on his soup and wondered why he wasn't feeling sick to his stomach as well
Ichabod just dismisses it as having an iron stomach. As they finish, Ichabod just pays the bill and then, they head back towards the ranch. Where Bill heads back to the coral and Ichabod heads back to the ranch house to rest. But he sees...
Bob limping slowly, he was rubbing his ribs

Ichabod ran out to meet his friend

"Bob! Bob!" Ichabod said "Are you OK?"

"Something...Attacked me..." Bob said "He punched and kicked me a couple times and then left..."

"Who did this to you?!" Ichabod was rare angry now

"I didn't get a good look." Bob said "He took my glasses, but he was defiantly male, whoever he was, he stank too, if I didn't now any better I'd say it was...The Chupacabra!"
"Chupacabra? Are we in Mexico?"

"I don't know where we are," Bob said, "but it doesn't matter. The rodeo attracts participants from every country, even Mexico."

"But a Chupacabra, Bob!" protested Ichabod. "That's a little extreme, isn't it."

"So what's your opinion then? A rabid armadillo? A boxing kangaroo? A disgruntled billy goat?"

"I don't know. I didn't see it happen. Why couldn't it just be a couple of hoods trying to mug you? They warned us to be on the lookout for pickpockets and muggers."
"Well like I said I couldn't see him because he stole my glasses." Bob said "But I could smell him and he didn't smell like any animal I know of...And I know the scents of a lot of Animals!"

"All right, all right I'm sorry." Ichabod said "Bot this day has been rough, let's just get you patched up, get you some replacement glasses and report to the police your assault."

Ichabod did not ride Bill again for many months it wasn't a few months later after he met Marzipan that he had to ride Bill again.

Bob's 'Chupacabra' made his reappearance long after everyone forgot about it, he called himself 'Venom' and was spreading Anti-Human propaganda trying to get the Humanimals to riot against Humans with only so-so luck

Matoaka did not like this 'Venom' one bit, at this point she was still pregnant with Amalthia, her second to last month of pregnancy, she was antsy and stressed, she had forced herself to sit out many adventures because of her pregnancy.

"I want to see what to word on the street is." Matoaka said "Something is up."

"Are you sure you want to do that now?" Zander asked "It's really dark and cold and..."

"Zander please!" Matoaka said "I can take care of myself! I didn't become a fleet captain for nothing you know!"
(Author's Note: I plan for Matoaka to undergo a transformation similar to Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four went through when she became Mistress of Hate
http://marvel.com/universe/Invisible_Woman)
"Just be careful," Zander said. "I'm worried."
(Twiga, Is this the Venom you mean or are you using someone else? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Amazing_Spider-Man_316.jpg)

As Matoaka explored the town, he soon gets a phone call from a nearest pay phone "Capt. Matoaka Redfeather?" Said a distorted voice.

Matoaka says "Speaking, who is this?"

The voice says "This is Venom."

Matoaka says "What do you want Venom."

Venom responds "Why are you working for such an inferior species as humans?"
"What are you?" Matoaka asked "What kind of creature are you?"

"I'm a Chupacabra." Venom replied

"Never heard of them." Matoaka said

"Figures." Venom snapped "Our kind have been driven to the edges of extinction by man, as a Unicorn I would think you would at least somewhat understanding."

"How do I know this isn't a trap?" Matoaka asked

"How do you know indeed?" Laughed Venom, at that moment Matoaka smelled chloroform and everything went black...
Zander got a funny feeling at that moment. "Trouble."
Bob, Jim and Bill was at the ship waiting for Matozka's appearance but she never showed up "Where's the captain?" Bob said, Bill says "I don't know, perhapse she overslept this morning." Jim says "We'll give her about 10 more minutes." That's when Zander called in. "Bill, Bob, Jim. Matoaka went out and never came home last night and I'm worried about her." Jim asks "You want us to find her?" Zander says "Yes, please do." Bob says "Bill, call Ichabod, explain to him what happened. We need help finding her."

Bob, Bill, Jim, and Ichabod met with Zander at his house.

"Should we just spread out and search the neighborhood for clues?" Zander said.

"That sounds good to me," Ichabod replied.

It wasn't long before Jim called out, "I've got something here!"
This story will continue in the next installment

The End!

© Copyright 2013 Twiga, BIG BAD WOLF Is Thankful, Hertzman, Steev the Friction Wizurd, (known as GROUP).
All rights reserved.
GROUP has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/1936340-The-Joke-Backfires