In Honor of Animal Crackers finally being released to the wide audience, a Transform Tale
In the Disney-Like Fairy Tale Kingdom Fantasia The King of the Land King Horatio the Husky (As in he's fat not a Husky Dog) Long ago heard a prophecy that Animals would kill his entire family at first he dismissed the idea until his beautiful wife was bitten by a mosquito, got malaria and died, ever since, to protect his only child the Fair Princess Angela, he keeps her in the castle at all times, she has no pets or even toys shaped like Animals, and the King regularly has his knights go into the forest to kill wild animals even bugs and worms |
(The Subjects clearly need domestic animals, but King Horatio has all Cats, Dogs and Farm Animals be kept under lock and key at all times and no Animal can come into the Castle unless it is already dead)
The Druid who lives in the forest Verde can no longer see her Animal Friends be killed so on Halloween Night she taints all of the Kingdom's candy and sweets with a potion that will turn you into the Animal your personality most resembles (One's Spirit Animal)
|Let's Cut to the Chase. On Halloween Night King Horatio liked to finish with an enormous Chocolate Cake that was made by only the Kingdom's Finest Pastry Chef's|
Angela who was 12 years old at the time loved chocolate as her favorite food group.
As Three Servants carried the enormous chocolate cake both the King and Princess's mouth watered.
After a few minute's of digging in King Horatio looked over at Angela "How is your cake Dear?"
"Fine." Said Angela "But Papa your nose looks funny."
The King's nose was turning into a Pig's nose! The King Didn't yet notice that Angela was turning whiter and her ears were lengthening into Rabbit's ears
|Horatio was a guard on duty. He was looking at one of his fellow guards. The guard was looking at him.|
"You've been looking at me kind of funny for the last few minutes," he said.
"Could say the same about you," Horatio said. "So I'll say it; there's something up with your face."
"You should see your own," the other guard said.
The two looked around for a moment, and looked at a mirror.
"Okay, I know my grandfather came from a place that compared warriors to bears, but that is crazy," the other guard said.
"And people always claimed that I was a bit wolfish, but that is just silly," said Horatio. "What do you think is going on?"
"I think the king angered a druid, or something," the other guard said. "I'll check on the rest of the guards and serving staff, while you check on the King and Princess. After that, the rest of the people."
"We're handling this fairly well, don't you think?" Horatio asked.
"I've been bespelled before," the other guard said. "You?"
"Turned blue for a few days once," said Horatio.
"Alright; check back in five minutes, or if you hear a scream."
|The royal adviser came in, slowly turning into a goose, "Your majesty, everyone in the castle is turning into an animal, not just you, me and the guards. I saw one of the royal servants growing a skunk tail." |
(Hertz the Queen died in the Prologue of Mosquito-Delivered Malaria which is why The King has the vendetta against animals...OK You could make the argument he re-married but I say he didn't)
|"What's a Skunk?!" Asked King Horatio as a a curly tail sprung from his rear end. And Princess Angela's Ears were becoming longer and her nose started turning pink.|
"A rare and exotic beast from North America." Said the Royal Adviser "In fact a lot of people are turning into rare and exotic beasts I saw one Pastry Chef turn into a Kangaroo and a Butler turn into a Penguin!"
|(Irony - a King, and a Guard, both named Horatio - then again, George is a fairly common name, both in terms of kings and everyday people.)|
At this, the guard Horatio came in. "Aside from the whole turning into animals thing, most everyone seems to be doing fine so far."
The Royal Adviser looked at the guard. "I'm sort of surprised at that."
"Helps if you've been bespelled before," said the guard. "You'd be surprised at how often that happens."
"So, what's going on?" the king asked.
"Best guess, you pissed off a magic user, like a druid," the guard said.
|Meanwhile in her cave lair, the Druid overlooks her work through a cauldron "Yes, it's working! Soon King Horatio, you and your entire kingdom will be turned into animals. A fitting punishment for killing my animal friends."|
(HER Hertz I establish Verde is a Lady Druid)
|But after scanning the entire Kingdom of Fantasia the Knights managed to discover some people who DIDN'T turn into Animals.|
After some questioning Guard! Horatio found out why
"They are all Diabetics Your Majesty the now completely Lupine Guard said to his now Porcine King "They couldn't have any Candy or any kind of Sweets at all last night so I believe that is how Verde bespelled us...By tainting the Sweets with some kind of Potion."
|"So, what do we do now?" the king asked.|
"I'd recommend apologizing to them," the guard said. "I'd also recommend flowers, candy, and a night out on the town."
"How would that help?" the Royal Adviser asked.
"Ever piss off a woman before?" the guard asked.
The Royal Adviser chuckled nervously. "Been there, done that, hate to ever do it again."
|Verde unfortunately overheard the guard's plan, "Candy? Do you really think I fall for my own trick? As for you your majesty, what you did will never be forgiven. As for those who didn't eat my candy. I have to feed them my potion in a different way, but how?" "I believe I have an idea mom." said a different voice. Verde turned around and it was her son Dr. Surde. "Surde, aren't you supposed to be in the next village selling your so called miracle cures?" "I was, until the sheriff got wise to my scheme." "I see, so what's your idea?" "Simple, compress that potion of yours to pill form and pass them off as pills for lowering blood sugar, or at least, a weight loss supplement."|
|"I like the way you think!" Said Verde "All right let's start placing the potion into those tiny pill capsules!"|
Meanwhile Princess Angela wasn't terribly upset about being a white rabbit, while her Papa the King discussed the plan with his royal guards she was happy to hop back to her nursery and start playing with her toys. But as she began playing with her dolls a voice she hadn't heard before startled her.
"The King asked me to watch over you."
Angela turned and saw one of the children who hadn't transformed into an animal
"My name is William Fitzgerald." Said the Boy "My Father was a Baker in my village and I guess I liked his sweets too much..."
|The Royal Adviser walked with the guard Horatio. "Do you honestly think that having the king apologize to Verde will do the job of reverting us back to normal?"|
"Hopefully, but I do have a backup plan," the guard said. "She has a son, who goes around selling phony miracle cures. Seems said cures have certain side effects."
"What kinds of side effects?" the Royal Adviser asked.
"Let's just say that one of those who took them thought that they could fly," the guard said. "They jumped off of a cliff."
The Royal Adviser looked at the guard in shock. "Oh boy!"
"Luckily, a harpy was flying in the area, and caught them before there was any splattering," the guard said. "That being said, the Sheriff in that area isn't happy, especially since the person that jumped is their brother-in-law. There's a few other similar incidents, where people who have taken these cures do dangerous, and highly risky things. Fortunately, there haven't been any deaths, but plenty of people want to throw this Dr. Surde a necktie party, because of what would have happened if said people hadn't been saved by shear luck."
"So, your plan is to arrest the son, and threaten to hang him unless the druid reverses the spell?" the Royal Adviser asked. "Sounds risky."
"That would be a terrible idea; she might make the spell permanent," the guard said. "Plan is to give them a Full Pardon, in exchange for the spell to be lifted."
"What if she doesn't lift the spell?" the Royal Adviser asked.
"We are talking about someone who profited from selling dangerous and phony medicines, that almost cost people their lives," said the guard. "It is a crime punishable by hanging to do that sort of stuff."
|After preparing the Pills. Verde said to her Son. "Here are some blank pill capsules to take with you...To give a live 'demonstration' to the People to 'prove' the Pills are safe. Remember the Safe Pills are in the RED Bottle. Do not take the Pills in the GREEN Bottle unless you want to turn into an Animal!"|
"What Animal do you think I'd be Mama?" Her Son asked "Just out of curiosity..."
"Son..." Verde said "We can all see you'd be a Snake."
Meanwhile William was talking with Princess Angela in the Nursery, the 12 Year old Princess had never spoken so long with a boy before and she was beginning to feel strange about it."
"Do you ever miss your Mama?" William asked innocently.
"Sometimes." Said Angela "But it's OK...Papa said she left because the Angels needed her back in Heaven."
William raised an eyebrow "Is that all he said?" It was common knowledge to all the Kingdom that Queen Merridell died after being bitten by a Mosquito, could it be her only child was the one person in the entire Kingdom who had no idea what was the truth of her Mother's death?
|Guard Horatio took a walk out in the kingdom. If there was one thing he did know about this situation, he had to talk to Verda himself, if need be. Sometimes, talking to whomever it was that cast the spell would do the job. On the other hand, there was always other options.|
|Dr. Surde arrived in his horse drawn cart in front of the clinic and quickly sets up, "Ladies and gentleman, are you diabetic and want to lower your blood sugar from an alarming 130 to a manageable 75 to 80? I have the solution for you, He holds up a green bottle "In this bottle is contains the miracle pill, take one pill a day before breakfast and all that blood sugar will go down." A man holds up his hand "Yes sir?" The man asks "We heard your kind before, judging what happened around the kingdom, those things could have side effects like turning into animals." "Ahh, a doubter. Then allow me to demonstrate." In a slight of hand, he puts down the green bottle to pick up the red one with his hand covered. Opens it and takes one of the pills, and swallows it with a cup of water, after a few minutes, nothing happens "See? It's safe." He quickly pockets the red bottle, Soon everyone buys the green bottles.|
|"Of course there weren't that many Diabetics in the Kingdom like only two dozen or so in a Kingdom of like nine hundred are so...And most of the Diabetics seemed to be centered around the Fitzgerald Bakery...For some reason|
|Dr. Surde was about to get back on his cart when a hand grabbed his shoulder, and pulled him back to the ground, where he found himself face-to-face with the guard Horatio.|
The guard grinned. "Nice trick. Let me guess - the bottle you used was a fake pill, that does nothing, while the others got the one that spreads the curse to those who can't have sugar?"
"What are you talking about?" Dr. Surde asked.
"Those people over there weren't born yesterday," Horatio said. "They're drawing candles to see who among them will test the pill you sold them - the one whose candle doesn't have the wick will test it, and when that person turns, the others will see that you gypped them. They'll then come back here, and throw you a little necktie party, with a rather nice and colorful rope for the occasion, and given that I'm one of those affected by said curse, I just might look the other way, and not see a thing. Of course, there is the alternative."
"What would that be?" Dr. Surde asked.
"Take me to your mother, so that I can have a little chat with her," said Horatio.
"And if I refuse?"
At this point, a lot of yelling is heard, as the group of diabetics, with a bull-man in the lead, came out of the bakery, and started coming towards the two.
Horatio drew his sword, and pointed it at Dr. Surde. "You can surrender yourself to my custody, where you might live, or you can run, and deal with them, and they will kill you. Your choice."
|Since Hertz has skipped twice I think this might be a good place to end this story|
The Son valued his own life more than his Mama so he came into custody and provided a cure for the transformed People of the Kingdom