Writing.Com General Discussion

Hi, please tell me if this is too flowery?

Though the summer's drought had left its mark, the knee-high brown grass swayed gently in the soft but troubled Chinook Winds, causing it to ripple like the ocean's waves flowing towards and gently embracing the shore.

Also, I am writing a children's short story about the Cincinnati Reds. Can I mention the owner and head coach by name and give them a brief dialogue?

Kristina