The Vivian Dalma Memoirs

its been almost a year. it feels like forever and everything just feels fake now. every day drifts by and it just seems like nothing is real, as if everything is just there but it isnt. i have questions and the more i search for awnsers, the more questions i have. idw what to do anymore in general for everything. most everything seems to be pointless now, not in a despair way, but in a thinking and contemplating way. i know that noone can understand me or this, cause i cant even understand myself. idk, maybe this is a cry 4 help, maybe this is wanting someone to reach out and save me. but whatever this is, let it be what it is.