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HISTORY: Part I – The Crazy Train
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... !!! Ha, ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha, ha!
Ha, ha! Ha, Ha! I... I... I... I... I...
The Big bang wasn't. That thinking has not worked out well for more than a few men and women huddled close to the food chain of mainstream science.
Jesus absentee father was a Zeit Meister. Maybe we should say He was THE Zeit Meister.
Jesus was a headbanger. He banged heads by calling the churches dens of thieves and the heads of the churches vipers. Caiaphas was a snake getting his head banged by Jesus. That didn't work out too well for Jesus, but certainly has for many charlatans.
Newton got his head banged against his will by an apple, then, trying to act real straight around the University Heads, announced the cause of gravity was imparted from the Holy Spirit. That worked out well for everyone except the Chinese who thought they were the cause of gravity, or maybe rice or something.
Einstein made a living out of selling gravity as a big rock sinking into a trampoline. Nobody really understood that, but most didn't want to admit they didn't, so it worked out well for Einstein.
Wile E. Coyote made a living out of trying to use those ideas to catch the Road Runner. Those ideas NEVER worked out well for him, especially when strapping a rocket on his back.
Of course History at this point was ignoring a good deal of History: Part II. Naturally narcissistic executives were still having people strapped to rockets. Sometimes that didn’t work out well for the ones strapped in. Apparently Mrs. Coyote told Wile E. where to stuff it when he wanted to strap her to one of those private sector (Acme X) rockets to go after Beep Beep. (Picture the coyote looking at the camera with a puzzled look, divorce papers in one hand and his penis in the other).
History: Part II – The Beast
Now it's a monster and will not obey!
A long time ago, in a continent far away...
8000 BCE – The Duwamish chief did some magic mushrooms and his mind traveled through time to see all the local tribes living in a great village. He was run over by a giant, metal horse with legs that rolled and many eyes with many souls peering out from them. He survived the journey and retained the epiphany of a little cake with pieces of chocolate pressed around a sweet, white fluff.
The chief retained this great meaning:
Humankind has not woven the "Web of life" yet.
We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the "Web" -
We do to ourselves!
All things are bound together!
All things connect!
CHIEF SEATTLE – Author
The Chief apparently was not counting Benedict Arnold, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Daumer, Adolf Hitler, Mao Tse Tung, Billy Graham, Ralph Reed, Osama Bin Laden, George W. Bush and Mitt Romney, to name a few that most of us don't want for Facebook friends.
It may be the chief had been amazed by a ventriloquist from Detroit who was giving Indian farmers in the newly discovered Pacific Coast a sample of sandwiches made from Equestrian fertilizer by-products. The guy made the chief's eyes grow wider and wider by making his cows and pigs and horses "talk." When the salesman was walking for the lambs, the chief's eyes grew three times as wide and he yelled "SHEEP LIE!!!!!." After the chief found the by-product sandwiches were a bunch of horse manure, he traded the land where the 13 villages sat for a toothbrush. The chief later died of syphilis and the ventriloquist salesman founded the largest city in North-Western America.
Pre-European, 5th and 6th Centuries AD:
The Merovingian Dynasty spreads long-haired-kingdom, barbarian life and religious practices throughout the areas Rome called Francia. 300 years of Druidism, Sorcery, Wizardry and the likes was growing into the “New Empire.” The Celts were truly a lot of potential customers who were deadbeats where paying to see Jesus was concerned. Some of them were rumored to have taken “rides” on a magic mushroom called the “broom.” These model Celtic broom riders could see Jesus in person and first hand whenever they chose. Paying to see Him second hand made no sense. For centuries that worked out for everyone and the Franks and Gauls got along reasonably well together.
Saint Wilfrid agreed with the pope that the long haired kingdom had a lot of Gaul and infiltrated them and the Franks with orthodox and catholic “Christianity” and, of course, “pay religion” with monks and friars doing the professional begging. They also drew the interest of many masons by including them in the food chain of building religious fortresses called churches, monasteries and the likes, assuring a generous organized musical effort that attracted choir boys to keep the priests happy. If the priests weren't happy they would have a fresh crop of children and others to spank, only corporal punishment was illegal in Francia. If someone was to complain about the priests' boy-love-society, the remedy that worked out best for that was to send them a visit from some cardinal's cousin Guido. Pay Religion worked out well for a group of Celts known as sorcerers, for whom the Greek Orthodox Church provided their own term “pharmakeia," for the sorcerers, and came the age of pay medicine.
Childeric II became the sole king of the Franks and liked the Catholics, but the noble Bodilo did a bit more than show embarrassment when the King had him illegally spanked in public. With the help of his brothers, Bodilo repaid the King's corporal punishment with a form of capital punishment called assassination. For several years the Merovingian Kings dropped liked flies and soon the Frankish kingdoms were ruled by mayors and priests.
So, from the consecration of Wilfrid in Gaul, it was only a matter of a few hundred years before the regions of Celtic origin would be subdivided and warring with one another all in the name of Jesus, or opposition to Him, who taught we should live together in love and peace. So the Pope Gregory VII blessed with plenary indulgence, the Roman Catholic churches throughout Europe to convert or exterminate the pagans and anyone else who wouldn't or couldn't pay to worship Jesus and His mom. That didn't work out so well for any of them, so, in the name of Jesus, the empire was broken into pieces that primarily became Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy, France, Germany and Britain, with a surrounding of other dependent factions. Finally the contenders of the broken beast, like the teeth of the hydra, set sail for the new world to finish defecating in the name of Jesus and fought off the payment system through the British. In the end, that didn't work out well for the Brits.
The crusades and all the killing in the name of the chosen one did not go unnoticed by whatever system or intellect governs the universe. Of course that intellect has the most powerful skills of defecation. It never works out well for those who poop on God and expect to get away with it.
God has his ways and God has His plan. Man can't or won't see it till it's right on top of him. In the late 16th Century, technology was barely in understanding of the mast. Telescopes were mere spy glasses and most people weren't naturals at knowing which end to look into. Although Copernicus and Kepler had made many notes about the nature of sunspots, they could only guess as to what they were and what effect they had on the Earth. During Kepler's watch and unbeknown to him, the sun went through a change only understood in the 21st century. It divided into four poles and basically shut down for a number of decades. This was known, once the virtual absence of sunspots was recorded by one guy, then eventually noticed by another guy who it was named for, as “the Maunder Minimum.” It is thought, though not proven to absolution, to have been the reason parts of the planet experienced a brief cooling known as “the Little Ice Age.” Though isolated to certain tomes of the planet, the affected areas experienced winters so cold that many people died and rivers and streams froze deeper than ever known before. Shortly after the sun resumed activity, the last dormant supervolcano on the planet awoke and split a bit, producing hydrothermal explosions, steam vents and geysers. One of those was later discovered in the 1800's during the civil war era and named “Old Faithful.”
The word tornado originated in Spain and, at first, meant thunderstorm. After the Little Ice Age, cyclones occurred more frequently with them and eventually twisters became commonly known as a tornado. Tropical storms had been around for quite a while, but hurricanes were reasonably new. In the 21st Century it was found, although a bit too late, that the core of whirlwinds was a stray line of force in the planet's magnetic field. A compass was a commonplace item for centuries, but in the 17th Century everyone was so interesting in the self-glorifying practice of religion that they failed to observe the very slight changes to where the compass needles pointed. It was more important, as an example, for states like North Carolina to try out a brand new concept of totalitarian capitalism, by sterilizing any people who didn't make enough money. The Earth, moon and sun didn't care about all that. The North magnetic pole was beginning to incline toward the True North Pole. Eventually that wouldn't work out for much of anyone.
Galileo Galilei got himself locked in his own house till he died for showing how his balls dropped at the same rate and eventually Sir Isaac Newton furthered that with a bigger set of balls and understanding technology seemingly became easier. Dr. Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity in bolts of lightning, but got a real charge out of romancing older ladies. The iron horse with legs that turned, once envisioned by the chief, became a reality and the population grew, needing more textiles, cotton gins, rawhide, beef, mutton and wool. Sheep and cattle farming became very profitable. Eventually, shepherds and cattle raisers started shooting each other over grazing land, so undertakers and ministers became in higher demand. The United States became divided into warring factions, as had Gaul centuries earlier. That didn't work out very well for much of anyone, except Jesus and weapons makers.
Faster and faster mankind advanced in blazes of smoke and fire, with submarines and iron-clad ships, electric dynamos, generators, light bulbs and factions within the technical and new scientific minds. Edison won one battle with alternating current setting the paradigm of the electrical utilities while Tesla took step up transformers to a new level. That didn't work out well for numerous cattle in Colorado, but that didn't stop J.P. Morgan from funding him till he had a real encounter in Long Island that started a whole new part of history.
History: Part III
Science Fiction. Double Feature.
Bowman: Open the pod bay door, HAL.
HAL: Who is it?
Bowman: It's Dave, HAL. You know that.
Bowman: Yes, HAL. It's Dave. Open the pod bay door, HAL.
Bowman: Yes, HAL. It's Dave.
HAL: Dave's not here
Herbert George Wells became the second father of a successful type of read called science fiction. In 1895 he wrote his novel “The Time Machine.” Wells was truly a visionary who was looking at the demise of the planet mankind was causing with his lust for money and the use of Jesus to keep the money changing hands. Jules Verne was truly the first of the SciFi writers, but Wells saw much further into the future. In the case of Verne, the yarns he dreamed up were more in line with available technology and favored Newtonian physics, but Wells produced food for thought and sparked the imaginations of men like Tesla and Einstein. Engineers were certainly able to make a clock keep time, ticking off slices of the same second while a machine moved its pieces into the right sequence, but that was what Einstein eventually referred to as “bean counting.” Wells imagined the possibility that one might be able to jump around between one second, hour, day or era and another. Around the same time the Wrights were warping wings to allow controlled, powered flying machines to appear, Tesla claimed to have witnessed that process of slipping across frames of time in action. Einstein later explained a way the process could be harnessed at faster-than-light velocities. Naturally, Jesus' priests fought back at the thought of attributing gravity to anything other than God. Einstein's idea could have shut down pay religion for good, so really scared the beJesus out of the entire Christian church. Once again the greed of do-gooding triumphantly brewed a new crusade in the same old Celt annihilating method, only reasoned by trade embargos and methods to cause friction between Germany and France. With trains, planes and automobiles now on the scene, that old joke on humanity, told a little differently, worked out well for weapons makers, ship builders and other technologists. Again the church invested in war.
In all of this so far I've shown the perspective of war and man's folly from that of the buyers and sellers. Another driving force of humanity ever since the first man gave the first woman an erotic version of a Valentine's Day card, visual artwork has communicated that and other ideas, bridging the gap of language and even music. Light covers speed, speed breaks sound, sound disperses light, or something like that, all reflected in art. Cave paintings by deft artisans like Zhang in China and the Australian aboriginal “black fellahs” depict some of the origins of color and pigment, but just as much the origins and concepts of their religions. Murals persist. The problem with murals is portability. To sell one is to sell the land or at least the wall, if not the house. If desire was the father of commercial art, then the necessity of portability was its mother.
The best artists are real stinkers. Skunks survive. Some borrow, but the best steal and steal many did. Much of the preliminary work by the great masters was done by their apprentices and the works of Christ from one church to another, often bore quite a bit of similarity. No shared credit. So, as truth revealed, commercial art had been around for quite some time, artists being paid by popularity, much as today. Process color printing and pulp fiction gave it a quantum leap into portability and the giant step for commercial artists. If an artist's work was picture perfectly reproducible a comfortable living could be made. Not all artists handled criticism and, worse yet, rejection gracefully.
Adolph Hitler, prior to the 1st World War, was a poor artist in all senses. His work was bad and it was tough to find work. Even though his aspirations of being a commercial artist failed, his military career flourished. The thievery of plunder during the 2nd World War depicted a logistic DaVinci as a leader. Much as the oldest masters made mistakes, though, in mixing their colors, rendering work that would eventually turn black through the incompatibility of their elements, Hitler's substrate, intended to become a masterpiece of utopia, turned black. He exterminated the poor Jews God truly loved, for about the same reason he loves Polacks, instead of the deviant heads of the church He despised. Poop on God, or poop on His people and that eventually doesn't work out well for the pooper. The act of pooping by Hitler's misled crusade would, however, work out well for the physicists.
While all this was going on, though, radio preaching was about to be expanded by a fellow named Dr. Philo T. Farnsworth with the television. Once the battle for the patent rights was over, to Farnsworth's tragic defeat, people were not only able to hear the news of the war via radio, they could watch it on a little round glass onion called a cathode ray tube. Once again the penis rears its ugly head. Max Planck and Heizenberg, like most other scientists of the day, knew that a lot of microscopically small penises could be assembled to outrank a much larger penis, or assembly of larger penises and they knew the race for the atomic bomb would decide the winner of the wars. Regardless of which side would win the war, Plank and Heizenberg would not be cast so much as Nazis, but as great scientists, like Albert Einstein, Enrico Fermi, Robert Oppenheimer and Leo Teller, and, as usual, it would work out well for those guys.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki would put an end to the world wars of that moment, but would begin the final battle of the cold war. Theism versus atheism would wage the Armageddon that would outlast the era of modern society. Subdivisions with a bankroll waved in their face have always been the tool of self-destructive behavior and its origin. Jesus told the ones who have a lot to give to the have-nots whatever they ask for. The church has always taught that He didn't mean that. After 1945, though, people were still recovering from the Great Depression. They survived. They needed less and organized pay religion was last on the list of payouts. With Charles Darwin demonstrating that God didn't finish creation in seven, 24 hour days, alongside Sigmond Freud demonstrating that belief in God was a sign of poor toilet training, it looked like Jesus had spent too much money supporting the war. It seemed the only ones wanting to pay to ensure their spot in heaven were organized criminals and syndicates. The robes, frocks and habits were going unnoticed while atomic energy and modern conveniences were center stage. That was working out very well for movie makers and, for a change of pace, the average person was committing the cardinal sin of enjoying a good laugh or a good cry. The arts were better noticed.
All the while, people who had radios could listen to sermons from a preacher making his living off the airwaves. Billy Graham was telling everyone about God and how He gave His Son so they could have all their sins forgiven and have eternal life. Revivals moved to the television set and the effect of the revival reached more and more living rooms. There was no difference in pay religion. You were heartless and going to hell if you failed to help the church feed all the starving children in Africa. I always thought Reverend Graham looked like a spider trying to coax in the fly, but it was certain he was going orgasmic when the masses flocked up to his mourners benches. I was usually miffed when his evangelism preempted some favorite other prime time TV show. The damage wouldn't show up till long after the war between pay religion and scientific development found more conflict with the nudity of Marilyn Monroe movies, John F Kennedy's push to put a man on the moon and two science fiction movies for the price of one cultivating the dreams of children toward being astronauts instead of choir boys. Kennedy had to go and the church had some organized criminals in the background who owed them some big favors. Even with the key salesman out of the picture, the beast was missing his objective to get all of humanity into his corner. Still, if science had not been stopped, it had been slowed a bit. It slowed just enough to run humanity to the brink of Yellowstone's supervolcanic destruction, but not enough to drive it completely underground. Godzilla never had anything to do with it although Rush Limbaugh, Charleton Heston and Ted Nugent certainly did.
Four ensuing decades of politico-religious ping pong left people with economic whiplash so much that Mother Nature herself needed a cervical collar. LBJ set in motion his support for science and innovation leaving no stone unturned. Just as quickly, Nixon started the wheels to get all those grants to the maverick inventors done away with. Jimmy Carter set into law freedom of information allowing every teenager who wanted an atomic bomb for his science fair project to have one. Reagan wanted us to have an arsenal of nukes in space aimed at the Russians. The Russians already had one aimed at us, India, China, Great Britain, France and Israel. Eventually philandering Clinton, made peace with the Russians, sold democracy to them and the arms reduction treaty began, while he simultaneously started climbing in bed with the rest of North America by giving everyone work rights. Bush rode into the Oval office on a hanging chad, pushing out Gore who claimed to have invented the Internet. Osama Bin Laden took out the World Trade Towers, so Bush went after Saddam Hussein to get his weapons of mass destruction. By the time his second term was over, the American economy was fit to be “Occupied.” Then Barack Obama, known as the first “non-white” president, or black to most, caught the blame for the economic disaster, however he managed to get rid of Bin Laden. Certainly the country needed a strong Republican to vindicate the poor struggling rich businessmen after Barack's “Obamanomics” and “Obamacare” had given all that money and hope to the middle and lower class people. Shame on him! It simply wasn't going well for the rich guys.
With increasing numbers of powerful quakes, hurricanes, shifting weather patterns, tornadoes, floods and winters that would be missed if we blinked, 2012 had a lot of people on the edge of their seats. Still, it was an election year and that had to take priority over getting people trained to survive a potential cataclysm. Mother Nature, however, decided to vote that year. She Registered with a 10.5 magnitude quake originating at the San Andreas fault line.
Mitt Romney had been invited by Arnold Schwartzenager to the Republican Supercovention in Los Angeles on election night. It was a music festival as well, with famous Republican singers like Arlo Guthrie, Ted Nugent, Sammy Hagar, LeAnn Rimes, Alice Cooper, Lynard Skynard, Taylor Swift, Billy Ray Cyrus and a line-up of others were rallying like it was an NBC televised Woodstock in the Universal Studios Outdoor Amphitheatre the entire afternoon. Ringling Bros – Barnam and Bailey Circus had its own show near the Los Angeles Zoo and, ironically the zoo had recently taken on a temporary shipment of 16 elephants for examination prior to distribution to other zoos in L.A., so more than just the Republican stage was set for God's big cameo appearance. At 6:00 PM the poles were showing the Republican challenger with a phenomenal lead. At 6:40 PM the initial quake shook everything to shambles including the zoos and the circus. Terrified animals were suddenly loosed onto the streets and the largest ones stampeded, led by a herd of nearly 40 elephants, with about 15 rhinos directly behind them. The Republican stage had collapsed and many were trapped, injured or already dead. Schwartzenager had managed to get to a working microphone and four secret service agents were helping Mitt back to help the Governor regain control of the panacea. Dusty and already banged up quite a bit, Romney took the microphone, but instead of saying anything, like everyone else, turned to run as the stampede coursed their way full bore through the amphitheatre. The exotic animals could run much faster and it didn't work out well for anyone in Los Angeles that evening. The voting public apparently saw this as some kind of omen and, notwithstanding the likely default, Obama won the election by the largest landslide in history.
Although that was the worst event of 2012, the quakes had affected the basin of the supervolcano. It fractured further and a line of new steam vents, springs and 14 new geysers sprung forth. There was no smoke and fire at that phase of the eruption, but a spiderweb of new tributaries were forming. The waters were progressively flooding the central plains and lowland areas, some working their way toward Mexico, but most making a beeline for Illinois. By 2020 the Great Lakes had risen by nine feet and the estimated rate would raise them an additional fifty feet by 2030. People began migrating to higher grounds, but there were only so many areas to go to. The polar caps were dissolving rapidly. Even by 2020, the coasts were growing narrower. Miami was almost completely flooded and coastal frontage was simply disappearing at alarming rates.
As if this wasn't enough, the sun continued to grow hotter, after a brief cooling period that seemed like a joke because what had once been a small ice age lasting decades, the cooling had only reduced the temperatures to around 60 degrees f, for a couple years and summers had still been hot. In 2014, most of the planet rarely dipped below 60, but certain areas could suddenly drop to freezing. Many people began resorting to underground bunkers and compounds, while several thousand turned to life in a type of houseboat of which I had been the original designer. I had been promoting them for several years prior and often wondered how things would have turned out had people bought into that idea much earlier. I had been given a glimpse of the future by sending this writing back to myself in 2012, but eventually resolved to send it back to an even earlier time in my life. To some degree I'd already been contacted as a child. The question that presented itself, regarded to ask “when was the proper point of entry?”
HG Wells dream of the future was nearly to become a nightmare of desolation, but the Zeit Meisters prevailed by cultivating a human into one of them. I just wanted to play rock music. They made me into a time traveler. I wasn't really that thrilled with it all. The names, “Morlock and Eloi” were somehow ironically manifest, but Wells vision was a rough sketch at best. He had not envisioned a small society of time travelers, nor had he envisioned a bastard child of Albert Einstein who was a doppelganger of my own father and talented enough to not only comfort him in his last dying moments, but enough to return to his 7th Calvary unit and carry on in his place. My own father was a Zeit Meister, which means “Time Master.” In those years, I didn’t know that. We knew only that he was a master carpenter and I’m something of a chip off the old block. It seemed he was gone on business trips a lot.
Dr. Fank N. Furter: Yes. I have that knowledge.
... on the late night, double feature picture show, from RKO. Science Fiction, double feature… Oh, oh, oh.