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Rated: ASR · Message Forum · Comedy · #286075
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Dec 19, 2001 at 6:02pm
A simple request
Dear Mr. Whinnery,

I can tell from your very professional wrapping and packaging that your company is one which prides itself on perfection. It is for this reason that I have taken the time to write to you with a concern which I am sure you will be happy to rectify.

I am in a line of work which requires that substantial portion of my income be derived from gratuities, coming from my customers. I, too, find great satisfaction in doing my best to make customers satisfied.

In satisfaction of services rendered, a recent client of mine provided me with a box of your cheese, which also contained a special gift premium. I was told that this premium came with your deluxe premium cheese only. It was a small oil lamp made of a very interesting antique design. However, it is not the lamps appearance with which I am dissatisfied, nor is it exactly the cheese (although, the cheese was somewhat lacking in flavor). My complain is with the operation of this lamp.

While I realize it sounds ludicrous to most that a genie can be contained within a lamp, I know that you understand of the matter to which I refer. My genie is not functioning properly. It cannot properly deliver my wishes.

Since your company has such a fine reputation for the utmost in customer service, I am sure that you would not mind providing me with my wishes instead. Please send me $1 million in unmarked bills. I am sure that you have genies left over from your recent promotion, and so this request should be no problem for you.

A simple request · 12-19-01 6:02pm
by Elwood∞

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