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Rated: E · Message Forum · Community · #1613826
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Jul 26, 2019 at 11:27pm
#3283433
Re: Am I a poet?
Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.

Good day to you ajalleperfej My name is Shelley and this review is for your poem Pixels in the Sink. I am reviewing your piece as you requested.

Title:
A creative title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme's intent - the art of writing - while at the same time captures your poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.

General/Form Style:
For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. Although I don’t recognize this form of poetry you have written (if it is one), it is a good write about whether taking time to be an effective “word smith” (poet) is worth the time and effort. Heartfelt and introspective. Well crafted rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of your work as a writer that any reader can appreciate and see in their minds eye.

Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of metaphor - “my child my words”; and nice use of personification (that what you create through your writing is your child}. Good use of descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:
Rhyming is done well. Near perfect use of masculine end line rhyme that is executed beautifully in this piece.

Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling; you speak of the hard work and focus it takes in the creative process - whether by pen or in this case typing on your computer keys - how important it is to express yourself and that it is a comfort to you. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. Nice use of repetition that gives emphasis to your thoughts and feeling about the written word. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion: to add a question mark at the end of line four; to add a comma at natural pauses and a period at the end of a thought which will give emphasis to your thoughts and feelings. It will also make your rhythm better in my opinion.

I especially like these lines:
“Can I spend another whole day there”
Yet that was the life I ever chose
New in country, lost among the streets
All rebellion, it drew to a close
My child, my words, beyond my life you greet” — I can relate to this very much. I think all writers do throughout their lives. It expresses feelings about the art of writing that touches one’s soul that as a reader I can appreciate.

Overall:
This is a very good write. It kept my attention from beginning to end. It resonated with me and is an enjoyable read. Well penned. Write on!

My Dragon Sig
Sig for my handle
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
MESSAGE THREAD
Am I a poet? · 07-26-19 7:36pm
by Past Member 'ajalleperfej'
*Star* Re: Am I a poet? · 07-26-19 11:27pm
by ShelleyA~10 years at WDC
Re: Re: Am I a poet? · 07-27-19 12:44am
by Past Member 'ajalleperfej'
Re: Re: Re: Am I a poet? · 07-27-19 12:48am
by ShelleyA~10 years at WDC

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