Writing.Com General Discussion

"Remove Unnecessary Words"

If you can cut the words and the story still stands, then it wasn't needed. Guess what happens to excessive description? poof. Not needed. Barring the examples give by others like the holes punched in the wall, those clearly support the story by revealing the nature of a character without you saying "he was a hothead"

I'm a little scant on details myself. Sometimes that's a good thing.

Common advice is describe the scene wit multiple senses (sight, sound, smell).

Don't over do it with flowery prose.

Here's an exercise that will show you how and where description is done.

Go to the used book store and buy a book by a more current author that you would like to write like (as opposed to some old dead dude who nobody wants to read 200 pages before they get to the point).

Get a bunch of highliter colors, yer gonna wreck a book. (yellow, blue,. green, pink)

Open up the a chapter and highlight in yellow, everywhere they blatantly describe the room. (ex. the foyer had flowery wallpaper and a hat rack sat just inside the doorway. A small table kept a tray, where keys were found).

highlight in blue everywhere a person is described directly, (ex. she wore a tight dress and a pair of gams that went all the way up)

highlight in green everywhere you see indirect description, where the holes in the wall are telling you about the person

highlight all the dialog in pink (don't have a clever magic color combination trick for it, I just want it to stand out).

Hold the book far enough away that you can't read the words. See the SHAPE of the chapter. Where does all that yellow happen? At the front in the first paragraph or mixed in?

Try doing that with your chapter.