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Hi, I know that you posted this a few days ago, but I just ran across it and wanted to respond.
I know just what you are feeling. I lost my husband April 24, 2014. I had to give permission to turn off the life support; because the doctors said they could not do anything more to help him.
I too, did not write. I allowed myself to sink into a deep depression. That lasted for 3 years. Then one day I sat down and wrote a poem to him; expressing my feelings. I had kept up my WDC membership. I then starting dabbling back into my port.
I felt the depression lifting, and I really dove back into WDC. That is what helped me.
I am now doing NaNo. I may not hit the 50,000 mark but I am writing. I am trying to make something out of a story he tried to help with by discussing it with me.
What I am trying to say, is write! Write your heart out and talk to everyone here at WDC. Join groups and contests. Writing will ease your burden and make you feel better. You will find that WDC is very therapeutic.