Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/986307-Linericks
by deemac
Rated: 18+ · In & Out · Comedy · #986307
A Linerick is a Limerick written one piece at a time!
WELCOME TO LINERICKS ... that's Limericks written a line or two at a time!

So whether you're that
Old Lady from Aachen
or that
Young Man from Zurich

or indeed anyone from anywhere in between, if you're addicted to Limericks, just add your line whenever!

*Note1* NOTES:

*Bullet* For a quick refresher on how best to structure a Limerick, check out https://tinyurl.com/ykmpx2ym

*Bullet*PLEASE DO NOT POST COMPLETE LIMERICKS. The main purpose of the In&Out is to share the blame fun, so please add just one piece at a time.

*Bullet*If a fifth line has already been posted, please go ahead and start the next one off. OR ... feel free to add an alternative/additional fifth line if you like!

*Bullet*To make for easier reading, please colour tag each first line.

*Bullet*Linericks should be witty, with plenty of euphemisms and innuendo. Our 18+ rating means bawdiness is OK, but not as a substitute for cleverness; so please, NO gratuitous lewdness.

*Bullet*PS: Having fun is compulsory!

Young Joey expressed with a yawn (Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) )

I'm searching my cousin, named Dawn (Bianca )

As he looked high and low // From her head to her toe (PCGuyIV )

Spied the gap where a magician had sawn. *Shock2* (deemac )

I woke up in Kerry today (Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) )

Which was strange, 'cos I fell asleep in L.A *Confused* (deemac )

Gone to hell of a southern ca concrete jungle (N.A Miller )

Lost within the city's heavy mumble. (Kevster )

among other things, my pillow had wings (Rhyssa )

Like the travels, this rhyme's gone astray. (THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD )

Since I can follow up directly (THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD )

I'll add a new line circumspectly (Rhyssa )

We are back on track (Kit of House Lannister )

Already knew this man’s contrary (Lyn's a sly fox )

going on a date may be scary (Lyn's a sly fox )

I once had a linerick to write, (DS )

Second line I wanted juuust right (Dad )

I wrote the third line. //. meaning the fourth line is mine! (Dad )

then the fifth sank like anvils in flight (Rhyssa )

Said a dog to his owner one day (deemac )

Line 2: I'm afraid I have peed on the hay. (JACE - House Targaryen ) (JACE - House Targaryen )

I was chasing a sneak/ then I felt myself leak, (Rhyssa )

And the cow and horse both yelled "Oi vey! “ (deemac )

The crazed pirate had entered the ship (Maryann - House Martell )

A cutlass and grog in his grip (Rhyssa )

He roared with a shout- (Krista of House Mormont )

"Yo, ho, ho! Let's hang out!" (Rhyssa )

"But no dancing, since me pegleg, I limp." (Dad )

A haggard old sailor set sail, (DS )

Not in boat but in 5-gallon pail. (Dad )

it was a fine ship / til it started to tip (Rhyssa )

When it was bumped by a bloody great whale. (DS )

He held on tight with all his might, determined not to fail. (Kevster )

A gardener whose blooms reached their prime. (Kevster )

Said, " Hands off because these are all mine!" (Dad )

but a sorry young lad / plucked up all that he had (Rhyssa )

And kept them 'til they'd rotted to slime. (DS )

I took a trip to St. Ives (Dad )

with a cat that had used three of her lives. (Dad )

Head got stuck in the door / Bang went life number four (deemac )

Here's hoping for more from number five. (DS )

A centurion marched into Gaul, (DS )

The barbarians he sought to enthrall. (Dad )

as the battle begins / / he made his eyes spin (Rhyssa )

Got them all giddy and made 'em fall. (DS )

A wayward young man from Japan, (DS )

had a very nefarious plan (Dad )

He plotted and schemed / With deceit, he'd redeem, (Kevster )

The bonds he'd steal from his gran. (DS )

A clever young lass from DC (Rhyssa )

Went to math class and brought their resee's. (Kevster )

Got awfully confused // As she pondered and mused, (DS )

"Speaking algebra sure isn't easy." (deemac )

A private first class in a tank, (DS )

Masked up and drove into a bank (deemac )

He thought it was fun // to whip out his gun, (DS )

Told the cops, "Must've been the whiskey I drank." (Dad )

'Least the tank shell he fired was a blank. *Yikes* (deemac )

A detective reviewing a case, (DS )

Meerschaum in mouth, on floor he would pace. (Dad )

he followed each clue / / and he thought it all through (Rhyssa )

afore the villain he set out to chase. (DS )

There was an old lady from York, (DS )

Who always ate peas with a fork (deemac )

and when they rolled away / / she would grumpily say (Rhyssa )

I'd use spoon but I'd feel like a dork. (Dad )

Said a guy who was writing a tale (deemac )

"I'm tired and my bagel's gone stale (Rhyssa )

As hard as he tried // bun or bod to revive (H❀pe of House Lannister )

But all efforts were destined to fail. (Dad )

Next day he tried writing an ode (deemac )

while sitting upon the commode (Rhyssa )

It wouldn't come out // so he started to pout, (DS )

and clenched his pen 'til the rhymes flowed (Rhyssa )

A forgetful old nut in his lab, (DS )

Thought he'd give making ice cream a stab. (PCGuyIV )

First put cow in freezer // then in hopped the geezer (H❀pe of House Lannister )

Cos the flavour was udderly fab. *RollEyes* (deemac )

I once watched a film on TV, (DS )

and every five minutes I'd see (Rhyssa )

An advertisement that said / sans their product I'd be dead. Ooh! See what I did there?I used a French word. I must think I'm all that with a cherry on top!) (Dad )

so I couldn't enjoy, no siree (Rhyssa )

As the film credits rolled, to my shock (H❀pe of House Lannister )

The role of Betty Lou was played by The Rock! (Dad )

Was I ever impressed! /. Dwayne looked GOOD in a dress (Dad )

But his acting was stiff as a block! (DS )

She cried, "Oh, I need some more sleep" (Rhyssa )

I've been up all night counting my sheep (deemac )

What I really abhor. /. Got as far as 3 to the power of 4 (Dad )

When the alarm went off bleep-bleepity-bleep. (DS )

A man on a mission am I, (DS )

to walk from the Highlands to the Valley of Wye. (Dad )

But from newscast I hear/ That's a chickensh*t idea*Worry* https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c51nj1qnvg5o (Roscoe )

For when I look at the river I'll cry. (DS )

There's one thing I'd sure love to know (deemac )

How to garden, to make my food grow, (DS )

First wash hands. When they're clean / then check thumbs. Are they green? (Roscoe )

Then plant your sausages all in a row. (deemac )

On the plains of GoT a writer stumbles (SandraLynn Team Florent! )

overhead storm winds blow, and thunder grumbles (Rhyssa )

Total Displayed: 100

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/986307-Linericks