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A Linerick is a Limerick written one piece at a time! |
WELCOME TO LINERICKS ... that's Limericks written a line or two at a time! So whether you're that Old Lady from Aachen or that Young Man from Zurich or indeed anyone from anywhere in between, if you're addicted to Limericks, just add your line whenever! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
A new cream to the sores / That he'd caught from the whores (Roscoe How come all his girlfriends keep dying? (Grandma Penguin Well, they’re dying, you see, a dark blue (☮ The Grum Of Grums I swear to you all this is true (Grandma Penguin What they were trying to moisten // was a new form of poison. (OT: This is ancient Rome, the Poisoning Capitol of the World, we're discussing (Dad or else a new cure for the ‘flu (☮ The Grum Of Grums Supported by six marching bands (☮ The Grum Of Grums I've recorded as rap / activated by tap (Roscoe Thus fulfilling the Covid commands (Roscoe The Happy Birthday rap was really quite funny (Grandma Penguin But a pain if your tap's old and runny (deemac Having music on tap / can detract from your nap (Roscoe And your plumber'll expect birthday money. A much maligned bird is the crow (deemac They're much smarter than we'll ever know... https://youtu.be/AVaITA7eBZE (deemac Though for song there's no doubt / they have nowt to crow about (Roscoe Those corvids have nowhere to go. (☮ The Grum Of Grums My favorite poem of all time is by Poe (Grandma Penguin About a blackbird who wasn't a crow (Maineiac It cannot be both // the raven doth quoth (Dad EA was a fine fellow, I know (☮ The Grum Of Grums Still, The Rubaiyat’s the best that I know (☮ The Grum Of Grums ' take the Cash, and let the Promise go' (Roscoe Read that poem morn 'til dark / drinking cider in Hyde Park (Roscoe I'll be halfway thru 'cause I read slow (Dad The wind blew some luck in my direction (Dad The ex-Prez is next door since election? (Roscoe "I'm moving to something grander //. White House is substandard" (Dad Adding Taj Mahal to his collection? (deemac And there plot world's bestest insurrection? (Roscoe Last year, tried to buy the Taj Mahal (deemac But bid exceeded my limit on Paypal But then down I did crouch / found bitcoins in my couch (Roscoe I'm adding the Kremlin to my haul! (Dad Had enough change to add the Suez Canal. (deemac Plus some kind of big Chinese Wall. (deemac So hello from Nawab of Bengal I'm buying a mountain in Nepal (Dad They declined my bid for team baseball! Any more bids? Then move on we shall... (deemac At the auction, I was scratching my ear (deemac Accidentally purchased a case of light beer (Grandma Penguin some bananas and a rake // and a Rembrandt that was fake (Dad Signed by some dude called Vermeer. Guy beside me was scratching his nose (deemac Bought another garden rake plus a hose (deemac Then I let go a burp / (Have you heard of Wyatt Earp?) (Solace.Bring Now I'm wearing his boots, I suppose.
(Solace.Bring But the guy with a cast on his arm (Dad Bought 300 pounds of Lucky Charms. OY: (if you're not familiar, it's a children's breakfast cereal) (Dad Though Pandora Box they ain't / had them dipped in gold paint (Roscoe and buried them next door, at the farm, (☮ The Grum Of Grums Next year, old farmer Ritter (deemac Saw his milk had a bit of a glitter They'd found the Lucky Charms / (it did them no harm) (Dad now milk and cereal match, that's the kicker! (Alala A butcher took a vegetarian wife (Alala Their union the cause of much strife (Dad "Our kids won't eat meat // nor e'en hear a sheep bleat" (Dad "But their beefs with their dad are sure rife!" They're Forfar fanatics, he's East Fife (deemac Their dad cheered when he heard the score (deemac OT: You there, Roscoe? All together now.. East Fife 5, Forfar 4 (deemac I hope it's no gaffe. // my ass off I laughed
(Dad Did the East Sussex Six score four more? (Dad Is it Stranraer or Heart of Midlothian? (☮ The Grum Of Grums I'll go there if I can drive a DeLorian (Dad There I'll drive back in time / for McFly's auld lang syne (Roscoe Rendered in tones quite stentorian. (deemac While investigating the scene if the crime (Dad I deduced it took place Christmastime (deemac But there was something funhy. //. the prime suspect was a bunny (Dad He's now been 'jugged', doing time. (deemac }Not a bunny then, but a hare (☮ The Grum Of Grums And, if so, then one more makes a pair Pretty soon you'll have more/And she'll be awfully sore (Grandma Penguin For reproduction, the do have a flair. (Dad The habits of the rabbits need a lot of care and caution (☮ The Grum Of Grums They recommend buying carrots at auction (Dad Rabbit meat can be dry / nice in stew or a pie (Roscoe Just make sure you get a pellet-free portion. (deemac A vegetable grower named Fred (deemac Always took a shotgun to his bed (Roscoe 'Til he blew off the junk/Of feller on bottom bunk (Grandma Penguin Said "Excuse me" as his face turned a bright red (Dad In the store, saw a young lady in pink (Dad If Mom gad seen me look, she'd raise a big stink (Dad Give a dog a bad name? / Has Mom reason to blame? (Roscoe Well, I tried real hard to blink (Dad OT: Thanks Youtube! Was a job I could botch:
(Roscoe Change coin cell on my Casio watch
Mine is 10 years of age, like my Scotch (Roscoe I write limericks in Capitals, on the whole (deemac Just last week, I wrote one in Seoul (deemac OT: My typos it won't fix / my goofs stay in the mix (Dad "Hey, our capital's dublin' !" How droll. Total Displayed: 100 |