Linericks

with a cat that had used three of her lives. (Dad )

Head got stuck in the door / Bang went life number four (deemac )

Here's hoping for more from number five. (DS )

A centurion marched into Gaul, (DS )

The barbarians he sought to enthrall. (Dad )

as the battle begins / / he made his eyes spin (Rhyssa )

Got them all giddy and made 'em fall. (DS )

A wayward young man from Japan, (DS )

had a very nefarious plan (Dad )

He plotted and schemed / With deceit, he'd redeem, (Kevster )

The bonds he'd steal from his gran. (DS )

A clever young lass from DC (Rhyssa )

Went to math class and brought their resee's. (Kevster )

Got awfully confused // As she pondered and mused, (DS )

"Speaking algebra sure isn't easy." (deemac )

A private first class in a tank, (DS )

Masked up and drove into a bank (deemac )

He thought it was fun // to whip out his gun, (DS )

Told the cops, "Must've been the whiskey I drank." (Dad )

'Least the tank shell he fired was a blank. (deemac )

A detective reviewing a case, (DS )

Meerschaum in mouth, on floor he would pace. (Dad )

he followed each clue / / and he thought it all through (Rhyssa )

afore the villain he set out to chase. (DS )

There was an old lady from York, (DS )

Who always ate peas with a fork (deemac )

and when they rolled away / / she would grumpily say (Rhyssa )

I'd use spoon but I'd feel like a dork. (Dad )

Said a guy who was writing a tale (deemac )

"I'm tired and my bagel's gone stale (Rhyssa )

As hard as he tried // bun or bod to revive (H❀pe of House Lannister )

But all efforts were destined to fail. (Dad )

Next day he tried writing an ode (deemac )

while sitting upon the commode (Rhyssa )

It wouldn't come out // so he started to pout, (DS )

and clenched his pen 'til the rhymes flowed (Rhyssa )

A forgetful old nut in his lab, (DS )

Thought he'd give making ice cream a stab. (PCGuyIV )

First put cow in freezer // then in hopped the geezer (H❀pe of House Lannister )

Cos the flavour was udderly fab. (deemac )

I once watched a film on TV, (DS )

and every five minutes I'd see (Rhyssa )

An advertisement that said / sans their product I'd be dead. Ooh! See what I did there?I used a French word. I must think I'm all that with a cherry on top!) (Dad )

so I couldn't enjoy, no siree (Rhyssa )

As the film credits rolled, to my shock (H❀pe of House Lannister )

The role of Betty Lou was played by The Rock! (Dad )

Was I ever impressed! /. Dwayne looked GOOD in a dress (Dad )

But his acting was stiff as a block! (DS )

She cried, "Oh, I need some more sleep" (Rhyssa )

I've been up all night counting my sheep (deemac )

What I really abhor. /. Got as far as 3 to the power of 4 (Dad )

When the alarm went off bleep-bleepity-bleep. (DS )

A man on a mission am I, (DS )

to walk from the Highlands to the Valley of Wye. (Dad )

But from newscast I hear/ That's a chickensh*t idea https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c51nj1qnvg5o (Roscoe )

For when I look at the river I'll cry. (DS )

There's one thing I'd sure love to know (deemac )

How to garden, to make my food grow, (DS )

First wash hands. When they're clean / then check thumbs. Are they green? (Roscoe )

Then plant your sausages all in a row. (deemac )

On the plains of GoT a writer stumbles (SandraLynn Team Florent! )

overhead storm winds blow, and thunder grumbles (Rhyssa )

In Brightwater Keep / They're getting no sleep (deemac )

Cuz Dyre Straits play full blast as rock crumbles (Roscoe )

I was whistling the anthem one day (H❀pe of House Lannister )

but the whistle was pulling in strays (Rhyssa )

I saw, with a start / Three dogs, paws on heart (deemac )

And howling to their country their praise (Dad )

An eccentric old gent from Crete (Dad )

In the Olympics I desire to compete! (Dad )

I ran for the gold / while my muscles were cold (Rhyssa )

Like this line, needs new feet (deemac )

I find when I stand on my head (deemac )

the top of my head becomes red (Rhyssa )

It is quite a sight / my feet have turned white! (Dad )

Next time, I'll use another podiatrist instead. (deemac )

Before Gandolf arrived in the Shire (Dad )

Did he send an annuncitory wire? (Dad )

or did he instead / / just show up to be fed (Rhyssa )

or light up the sky with cerulean fire? (Vacation, yay... 3 days to get here, boo!) (DS )

A traveller heading south, down to Rome, (DS )

with three elves, eight fairies and a gnome. (Dad )

Was stopped by I Carabinieri / For importing illegal migrant fairy (deemac )

Was fined and had to walk home. (DS )

So then, he headed north to Berlin (deemac )

with ten orcs, sixteen wargs, and a djinn (Rhyssa )

Got drunk and lost his way / ended up in Belgrade (Dad )

Where the orcs threw him in a pig pen. (PCGuyIV )

So stinky and hair full of muck, (DS )

There came a sudden change in his luck (deemac )

as he rolled in the mud / / he struck gold (and some spuds) (Rhyssa )

Then off to France, with gold (and spuds) in his truck (deemac )

He was stopped at the border, (DS )

For the toll bridge, he lacked a quarter (Dad )

So he sold the gold for cash / Then had a big bowl of mash (deemac )

And groaned as his waist grew even broader. (DS )

A silly old woman named Jill, (PCGuyIV )

decided to charge up a hill (Rhyssa )

But she slipped near the summit / And down she did plummet (deemac )

Doc said in bed for a month you must chill. (Dad )

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