"What the fuck! Look what you did to them!" Rob said to the salesman. "You made her at least twice as strong as him. What's with that?"
"He can write to the company if he's unhappy. But HIS satisfaction is NOT guaranteed, as the sign says," the salesman replied hotly. "You can’t please all the people, all of the time, you know. Caveat Emptor, Buyer Beware and all that. And anyway, she’s a satisfied customer, a very satisfied customer.” He rubbed his hands together. “So, if you're no longer interested in using the machine, there are plenty of others who are."
"What's taking you guys so long?" They could hear Becky's loud, high-pitched voice as if it were next to them. "Are you guys scared of the muscle machine or something? When is my boyfriend going to come out with some muscle?"
"Ohhh, so my first customers here are your GIRLfriends," the salesman said knowingly. "Well," he added, in a confidential, quieter voice, "they had the free trial. I shouldn't be telling you this -- it won't help my business -- but if you're looking to, um, catch up with them, er, you shouldn't bother. I mean, they've had the full treatment, whereas I’m sure you ... unless --
"Look, we're willing to pay!"
"We just want our turn!"
"We've been waiting!"
"You're letting everybody get ahead of us!"
"It's not fair."
"We've got money!"
"That's all you care about, right? Money?"
The salesman was looking from boy to boy, unable to get a word in, a rare experience for him. The last remark stung. This was a business. What did these boys know about business! About life!
"Right. Right. Ok then! Just how many units do you want?"
"A hundred for me!" Louis said.
"Three hundred for me!" Rob said, eager to trump his soon much weaker friend.
Louis looked at Rob with dismay but there was nothing he could do. Rob always had more money than he did, and Louis knew that he would never in a million years share his so they could be equal. The salesman held out his hand to Louis and took his payment. "A word of advice, boys," he said, pausing before he activated the machine. "I shouldn't say this, but my advice is, leave here afterwards, right away. Tell your girlfriends you got sick, ok? See 'em tomorrow, but give it a day before you show off your muscles."
"Lou-is! Are you coming out soooon? We're getting really bored out here!" Missie called, her melodious voice piercing the senses of the three males, irresistibly.
"If you don't listen --
"Come oooonnnn!" she called.
Louis shrugged and went into the machine. Seconds later the ding sounded and he came out, more muscular than before, more muscular than Rob, but still much smaller than Missie. He flexed his bicep and could scarcely conceal his disappointment.
"What gives! Sharon Lutz got more muscles than me, and she gave you only $10!"
The salesman shrugged. "I gave you a hundred units. I punch it in here, see? And it comes out there,” he added, pointing at the machine. “How it works depends on a lot of complicated stuff neither of us is going to understand in a million years, ok? All I know is you’ll get more with a hundred units than you will with ten, but it's different with everyone who does it. Satisfaction NOT guaranteed, ok? Now, do YOU still want to go?" he said, turning to Rob.
Rob smugly gave the man $300. "You bet!" he said enthusiastically. "Bet it works better on me!" he crowed to Louis and went inside. Seconds later there was a loud ding. Sure enough, Rob emerged much larger than Louis, his muscles nearly twice as big, stretching out his now skin-tight clothing. He playfully punched Louis in the shoulder.
"Ow!" Louis said, rubbing it. "Hey, Rob. That really hurt!"
"Heh heh. You're playing with the big boys now, Louie!" Rob said, chuckling. He felt his bicep. "Yeah, it's rock hard. It’s big. And it really puts yours to shame, doesn't it lil’ buddy? Wait 'til Becky sees it!"
The salesman was going to say something, but held his tongue. No concern of his. The girls were nice, at least.
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