The moment Link enters his very first dungeon, he's met with his very first enemy (not counting some weird, shivering flowers that he easily cut down on the way here). Was it one of them? No, something about it was definitely off; instead of being dark-ish blue and withered, it had a bright colors of verdant green and electric purple all across its body.
What really concerned him, though, was what truly made it distinct from those 'Deku Babas'. While the others exposed their toothless maws, these did no such thing. Not because they were docile, but because of those big, thick, lavender lips where their ordinarily lipless mouths would be. That, and when it sensed him walking forward, he could almost hear it giggling breathily, letting loose a bit of pastel pollen. He put his Deku Shield up in response.
Something that almost feels like a miniature kiss against one of his pecs throws Link off, just when he was about to step forward; then he remembered his 'guide' and what she tended to do when he wasn't looking at her...
Grunting, he nudges the lump beneath his shirt a bit more harshly this time. She squeaks louder than last time, and begins to struggle through the walls of flesh and fabric that she willingly trapped herself in. She seemed pretty shook. The hero almost regrets doing it to her...until he sees her shoot out of his shirt collar, right as rain--and with a new hue of pink, too.
"Mmh, sorry Link! I should be paying more attention," she mumbles. "Anyway, what did you want my advice for?"
The hero wordlessly points to the grinning plant ahead of them. It sways its 'body' from side to side, like a dancer--or a snake.
"Oh my, it seems you've found your first enemy! Well, from what I know about the Great Deku Tree and the life around here, it seems like these are Deku Baba. There isn't supposed to be much variation in their species, so that mouth is a bit concerning...but otherwise, it should be attacking like normal. Just get close enough for it to lunge, then attack it while its stem is all stretched out; it's easier, and you'll get a Deku stick for it!"
Oh. So all it is is a slightly different (and slightly less dying) version of those things from the entrance to the Great Deku Tree's chambers? Sounds easy to deal with. And hey, Navi's actually being helpful instead of distracting! Things are on the up and up right now!
Undaunted by the imperfect advice given to him, Link confidently struts toward the flamboyant Deku Baba, holding up his shield to block its attack. And indeed, Navi's suggestion worked!
At least, seemed like it did...but then, as it thrusts its head against his shield, it opens its mouth, and a warm, magenta-colored mist sprays out! There's so much of it that the stuff billows under and over his shield, rendering the thing useless. Worse yet, it hits Link directly in the face! And since he wasn't expecting it, the plant's 'pollen' flowed directly into his mouth and nose when his breath instinctively hitched.
Immediately, something came over the hero. A warm, pleasant tingling feeling washed over his entire being, growing more potent as he
breathed the mist in, accidentally allowing its sweet, inviting taste float over his lips, into his nostrils, and down to his lungs. He could feel his heartbeat calm. His eyes lid. He feels so relaxed, as if he'd just had the best massage of his life, or someone had turned off all the worry and anxiety in his brain. More than that, it was as if he was being possessed; without any input from his brain, his arms arms put away his weapons, and for some reason, he started walking toward the thing...
A girlish giggle pierces through the fog in his brain, beckoning him sweetly, luring him closer to his enemy. He couldn't do a thing to stop it.
Then, said enemy rears its head, purses its lips, and gives Link a big, wet smooch!
As the supple pair of kissers make themselves at home on his face, sucking his mouth into the plant's own, the strange spell he was in cracks barely enough to let him realize what it's doing to him.
Link cringes hard. He can't believe what's happening. The Great Deku Tree is supposed to be infected with something that's killing it! So why in the name of the three Goddesses is the only creature he's found in here trying to make out with him?!
And...why was it so skilled?
It's mortifying to admit, but it's true. This Deku Baba, however monstrous it may be, is kissing him like a pro; it brushes its disarmingly soft and lips against his without a single awkward pause inbetween. Its mouth, far larger than Link's, is warmly covering near-half of his face in a gentle embrace. Even the damp, sticky texture pressing into his skin was almost sinfully enticing. And above all, the creature is getting a wonderful opportunity to pump more of its delicious-tasting pollen into his mouth. He can already feel it taking over his mind like before.
This is so humiliating...
...so why does it feel so good?
"Wow. I didn't know Deku Babas could do that," Navi mumbles, pinker than ever. Link being so wonderfully out of control and at the whims of this amorous plant was surprisingly appealing to the guardian fairy. B-but she was his protector! She needs to stop this from happening, and get him to save the Great Deku Tree before it was too late! Yet, even as she acknowledges that, she struggles to will herself out of this aroused trance. She must have breathed in some of that pollen, too.
Being a magical being has its perks, though; she's a bit better at resisting this kind of thing than the Kokiri are. Her duty soon overrides her pervy thoughts, and she rams herself against the hero's temple, "Link! Please, snap out of it! You can't give in at your first fight!"
His groan is muffled by the Deku Baba's mouth, its long, tentacle-like tongue drawing itself across his lips, and the nectar slipping past them. It, too, has a potent, sickly sweet flavor. The pleasure it gives him is almost enough to catch him hook, line, and sinker all over again. Seriously, Navi. I'm not trying to!
The tingling...it's starting to get really strong at his crotch. He didn't even notice it, but his penis had been hard as a rock for a while. It made the hero feel nervous. That only happened around pretty girls, like Saria, or some of the other Kokiri. Why was it happening now?
Turns out that nervousness was exactly what Link needed, because getting wigged out was enough to temporarily overpower the hold this strange and terrifying plant had on his mind. Without a single hint of hesitation, he swung his blade right at the center of its stem and cut it in twain.
The Deku Baba died with a hiss, its body sublimating into an otherworldly fuchsia fire.
Link lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
The boy and his fairy sit down at the entrance--moreso to let the former get his wits about him than anything (though, the latter was snickering quietly to herself for reasons unknown). What a heck of an opening battle. Getting downright snogged by a living plant-thing for a full three minutes and not being able to do a single thing about it will no doubt wear at his psyche for years to come.
Then again, if that was his first opponent...
Link shudders. Yet, in doing so, he inadvertently reveals another embarassing fact: that monster's lips weren't just for show, they actually left a mark of natural lipstick on his face! He could feel it across every square inch of affected skin, cool and tingly, unlike the warmth of the leftover nectar. His face flushes red even as his tongue unconsciously slips out of his mouth for a taste. Suddenly, he's very aware of the stifled laughter coming from his side.
"Heeheehee...did you just notice it, Link? I think that Deku Baba really liked you!"
His response was to hold his fingers in a flicking position mere centimeters from her floating form. She yelps and flutters away.
"O-okay, jeez! I get it. Let's start moving, then. The Great Deku Tree isn't getting any younger, is he?"
Shame returns to Link's mind with a vengeance. How could he sit here when the forest's protector was in grave danger? Because he was scared of a kiss--albeit an unwanted one? Sitting up, he clenches his fists in front of him. He has to make this right.
- - - - -
And so, the two finally begin their venture into the dungeon, for real this time. Fortunately, a trick like the Deku Baba's doesn't really work twice, meaning no more kissmarks and no more embarrassing feelings in his pants. Well, not exactly; the other big-lipped plants infecting this place still managed to graze his cheeks and chest (and even his crotch!) a few times, leaving the hero with no short supply of lipstick and funny tingling.
In fact, they didn't seem to want to hurt him at all...they basically went straight to smooching him up every time. It almost made Link feel bad, but each time he remembered how close he came to surrendering when one of them caught him off-guard, and he grimly brought his blade down again.
Link appreciated the endless supply of Deku sticks.
In comparison, the Skulltulas were a breath of fresh air. Smacking them with his sword (or failing that, shooting them with Deku nuts) was practically a game to him. Figuring out how to progress through all the puzzles was pretty fun, too.
Everything was smooth sailing. At least, until...
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