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Review #3486625
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Mattress  Open in new Window.
Review by QuirkeeBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
The Disclaimer
If my modest opinion's
No good to be used,
Just toss it out.
Feel free to be You.
*Shamrock* Tina B *Shamrock*

Hi Ali!
I just read your poem “Mattress”, that I found while browsing for poetry.

*Shamrock* First Impression:
How sad! I actually had a tear well up for your old discarded mattress.

*Shamrock* What I Liked:
I loved that you told the story from the mattress’ point of view. I had to read it twice once I “got it,” but it was a great angle.

The best part for me was the end, when you talked about “a broken man” who “stops to stare.” I thought you beautifully tied together my cultures abominable practice of discarding that which we consider old and useless (hence the tears).

What beautiful imagery of the mattress bouncing down the stair and landing on the cold hard concrete hurled by two rough hands. Well, I say beautiful because I would really picture it, but it certainly left me feeling empty after I read it.

*Shamrock* The "Nitty Gritty" Details:
I didn’t notice much as far as grammar goes. The rhyming pattern you used worked very well and gave your poem a nice flow.

*Shamrock* Final Thoughts & Suggestions:
What a great bittersweet poem, Ali. With your permission, I would love to add this to a static document I have in my portfolio of my favorite poems.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to learn and grow by opening up a part of yourself.


Keep writing
*Shamrock* Tina B *Shamrock*

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