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Given: Jan 18, 2013 at 12:50pm
Length: 1,381 Characters |
1,130 w/o WritingML
Hi there. I found your entry on "I Write in December-January-February" . Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.
Imagery Created
Your poem created a heart-touching picture of siblings who fight, yet still are the best friends. It goes perfectly with the prompt.
Language, grammar and form
You have packed a lot many emotions in quite a few words. I could not see any definite form, but the rhythm of the poem flowed well. I only have a small suggestion. In the sentence, "I know its so because you care", you have used "its" which should be "it's" as in "it is". Other than this, there is no change needed in the poem.
Punctuation
You have not followed any punctuation in the poem, but that does not jar the reading or flow of the poem. Sentence breaks convey the meaning sufficiently.
Favorites and Not-so-Favorites
The idea of "slap being harder because of love" made me smile because of its realistic point.
Other thoughts and suggestions
No suggestions as such. It's a fine entry for the contest. Wish you all the best.
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