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 Review #3867038 |
 | Life Still Goes On  [E] A poem about our dependency on the life cycle.  |
| (4.5)  Greetings Deanna! It's been a really long time, hope you are feeling good! A review from "Invalid Item" The following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item. If you disagree with any of the suggestions below, feel free to ignore them. I am not a perfect writer myself but "Practise makes a man perfect" neither I want to make you depress or angry, so Write On!  TITLE/THEME: The title you have for your poem is interesting. I am always willing to go ahead and read poems related to nature, inspiration and emotion. FLOW: The flow of your poem is really good. I liked how you chose words that rhymed and how smoothly the poem flew without any disturbance.   EMOTION AND WORDING: The words you used was good enough for the reader to imagine life, relate many of their instances with the poem and phrases mentioned in it and much more! The reader really liked the poem~! SUGGESTIONS AND TYPOS: I found a few in your poem that I wanted to share with you. The red phrases are from your poem while the green text is my personal suggestions and opinions.==>We work or we play Just thought that the phrase would look better and read more smoother if this way this way: "We work or play" ==>You could use commas and periods to help the reader read the poem more smoothly. ==>Always dependant upon Maybe it was not clear to me that who is dependant on whom or it was not mentioned in the poem clearly; would you explain it to me? ==>It breeds and it destroys It controls and employs If you have written "it" twice in the first sentence then I think that there should be two "it"s in the next one too like It breeds and it destroys It controls and it employs  FAVOURITE STANZA :The third and the last stanza was my favourite stanzas! Wonderful! The choice of words was good and the flow was excellent with nice theme! OVERALL RATING AND IMPRESSION: The poem had a great flow and great theme, it was a pleasure reading your work.Thank you for allowing me to read and review your poem. Write On! Take care and Have a great day! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out these WONDERFUL activity! "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" by Choconut  "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" by Dave's trying to catch up  "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
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