Hi Meshellmybell !

I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page and it looked interesting so I thought I'd take a look, and here are my thoughts.

VOICE, TONE, DICTION:

The voice is first person, and the tone is loving. The diction is above average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

The rhyming scheme is AABB. There was loose alliteration with "let me love", "he has" and "someone so".

IMAGERY:

Heart, husband, man, daughter, eyes, horizon, blood and lungs.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION:

The lines were cleanly broken with punctuation. The meter was all off since the first stanza was uniform but the meter didn't follow the pattern after that first stanza and the stanzas after that first one had too many metrical feet in them so it made for a bumpy ride. The word "You" was repeated a bit too much.

ERRORS:

life truly begun --> life had truly begun
of my blood , --> of my blood,

SUGGESTIONS:

I'd clean up the meter, and find a way to rephrase the "You" lines.

FAVORITE LINES:

"You loosened the binds of my heart for all eternity."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a beautiful ode to one's husband and the love one has for him. I can see the emotion coming through each and every line, as well as each word. I'm sure many people can relate to the sentiment found in this piece, I know I can I enjoyed reading this, good job.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing!