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Review #3894318
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Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (2.5)
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Hi there!

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*StarB*
Overall Impression
Your story brought to mind something forgotten. A few years ago, I was sitting alone, eating at a restaurant with an outdoor enclosure. The strangest sensation crept over me, and I knew something marvelous was happening or about to happen. I waited, wondering if my mind was manufacturing whimsical ideas, but the air seemed to vibrate with positive waves of energy. Unable to contain my curiosity, I turned and saw a woman controlling four dogs on individual leashes. I asked what was special about her dogs. My astuteness surprised her and I listened to the story of three dogs who visited hospitals, just like in your story. Something was 'off' with the fourth dog. "He's a rescue dog, isn't he?" I asked and the woman confirmed it. It was an amazing moment. Humbling.

*StarB*
My thoughts
You have a great topic here. It just needs some adjusting so the 'magic' of animals helping patients is clear. I wasn't sure what you meant by "capturing Buster." Do you mean the meeting was planned, or spontaneous, as in "we met" or "happened to see"

Sisters of St. Joseph Pets with Heart pet therapy outreach program
How much of this is the title? Suggest you offset in quotes or italics for clarity.

The focus of the article is Buster, right? Using Dr. Kelley's full description takes up nearly one entire paragraph and tells the reader nothing about Buster. "Unit 5800" is out of context, so the reader has no clue as to what you're referencing.

Dogs who are trained to work with hospital patients are wonders. I think this is what you're trying to express. Consider focusing more on the program and the dog, and don't worry too much about doctors' names. People are instrumental in bringing the dogs, but the dogs are the amazing part of the story.

*StarB*
In closing
Now the editing process begins. We make a mess (or at least I do) and then work like crazy to straighten it out. Reviewing others' works is a great way to gain knowledge and participate. Keep on writing. It gets easier with practice.

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