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![]() | Like a Normal Person ![]() The world inside one woman's head is a much better place.. ![]() |
Hi! ![]() ![]() ![]() Overall Impression This expertly composed story began on a romantic note and surprised me when I read the conclusion. Now, I understand the meaning of the title. ![]() Thoughts/Impressions Excellent job creating a loving relationship between Jamie and Coco. The story was written using active verbs, and all the scenes played out vividly in my mind. Outstanding scene setting. A skating rink allowed you to show different people for Coco to comment on, giving the reader an intimate peek into her brain. She was absolutely right. What passes as a significant moment for an individual, means little or nothing to the observer. Also, the event can be misconstrued. One lonely evening, I watched a young couple step from their vehicle. The woman walked around the car and into her partner's arms, dropping her head on his chest. I felt hollow and lost to see such intimacy and love, something I wished for. For whatever reason, the image remained in my mind. A few years passed before I considered a different possibility. The couple might be breaking up and sharing a last-moment intimacy. Perception is everything. ![]() Considerations Error free! Coco's sister needs a name, if only to avoid repetition when identifying her character. Indenting the first line of every paragraph creates a more professional presentation. ![]() In closing Coco's sister changed her attitude from annoyance to one of compassion. It was a poignant moment because Coco's relationship, once revealed, was totally senseless. The commonplace wife/mistress theme was altered and nearly unbelievable, but the sister's devotion to Coco somehow made everything work. I'm puzzling over why I felt this way, trying to define 'somehow.' Speculating, once the relationship is revealed, the reader is left with one character to trust. The sister's normalcy gave the story solid footing. ** Image ID #1877090 Unavailable ** } ![]() ![]()
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