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Review #3894334
Viewing a review of:
 Like a Normal Person Open in new Window. [13+]
The world inside one woman's head is a much better place..
by Socorro Author Icon
Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi!
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*StarBr*
Overall Impression
This expertly composed story began on a romantic note and surprised me when I read the conclusion. Now, I understand the meaning of the title.

*StarBr*
Thoughts/Impressions
Excellent job creating a loving relationship between Jamie and Coco. The story was written using active verbs, and all the scenes played out vividly in my mind.

Outstanding scene setting. A skating rink allowed you to show different people for Coco to comment on, giving the reader an intimate peek into her brain. She was absolutely right. What passes as a significant moment for an individual, means little or nothing to the observer. Also, the event can be misconstrued.

One lonely evening, I watched a young couple step from their vehicle. The woman walked around the car and into her partner's arms, dropping her head on his chest. I felt hollow and lost to see such intimacy and love, something I wished for. For whatever reason, the image remained in my mind. A few years passed before I considered a different possibility. The couple might be breaking up and sharing a last-moment intimacy.

Perception is everything.

*StarBr*
Considerations
Error free!

Coco's sister needs a name, if only to avoid repetition when identifying her character.

Indenting the first line of every paragraph creates a more professional presentation.

*Books4*
In closing
Coco's sister changed her attitude from annoyance to one of compassion. It was a poignant moment because Coco's relationship, once revealed, was totally senseless. The commonplace wife/mistress theme was altered and nearly unbelievable, but the sister's devotion to Coco somehow made everything work. I'm puzzling over why I felt this way, trying to define 'somehow.' Speculating, once the relationship is revealed, the reader is left with one character to trust. The sister's normalcy gave the story solid footing.

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