Overall impression: I like this story where the horror is more of the mind - well done

Characterization: The main character is interesting and carries the reader from beginning to end.

Dialogue: I liked the dialogue well done

Area(s) for improvement: the first person narrative is inconsistent -

I could hear the boys laughing, but soon even that faded away Soon all he could hear was the pounding of my heart. - this is one example

boy." he sneered, - boy," he sneered, looking at ending quote punctuation - there are others.

keep writing


When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item"  Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, Paul.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .