\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3980844
Review #3980844
Viewing a review of:
 ODE TO NATURE Open in new Window. [E]
A short essay on my personal experiences and memories of the "natural world".
by Debbie M Author Icon
Review of ODE TO NATURE  Open in new Window.
Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Everyday is Earth Day!

Welcome to "The Earth Day Challenge" Open in new Window. review activity!


*Baretree*
Overall Impression
I found quite a bit of wisdom and wit in your words. My parents labeled me "overly imaginative and dramatic." Maybe that's why we're writers, now.


*Baretree*
Internal workings
You kept this piece moving by showing the reader how nature impacted you at different points in your life. It seems you had a difficult time, or felt uncomfortable trying to express your thoughts about Native Americans. But, it wasn't a "cheesy exaggeration" at all. I have also felt the magic of these People who understand what it means to revere nature, who never wasted anything from an animal taken for food. There's no need to preface your words by your statement. (Take the cheese out.)

The director and veterinary technician—
This paragraph was one of my favorites because it's current with today. Rather than begin your sentence with listing the animals, begin with the section below for greater impact. It's funny and bright, but the magic is lost when it appears at the end of the sentence.
unbeknownst to their 4-H

Fine Tuning ▼

*Baretree*
Closing thoughts
Because this piece was written from your heart, it needs a bit of editing to bring forth the beauty and joy. When writing, I keep in mind, "less is more" or "practice word economy."

I'm not a *disclaimer* reviewer, but due to the amount of suggestions, please feel free to ignore whatever doesn't work for you. This is your work, and it was my pleasure to read and review it.

Your story is one of love.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3980844