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Given: Apr 25, 2014 at 5:02pm
Length: 1,170 Characters |
0 w/o WritingML
THIS IS A REVIEW
RAOK UPGRADE BRIGADE Group
Title:Take Your Son To Work
Author:BBWolf
Type:short story
Reviewed by: ~Lisa~
First impression:
Hello BBWolf, I am reviewing this because you requested a review, this was a good practice in dialogue writing, this was a cute little story where the bank robber brings his kid to work with him, only to be constantly interrupted by the child and when the police finally arrived the cop's son was also doing the bring you kid to work deal. very comical situation. dialogue conversation was good.
What I liked most:
“Hand over the money or I’ll-“
“Daddy! Where’s the bathroom?”
“It’s over by the two security guards that I knocked out earlier.”
“Thanks Daddy.”
“Right. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Hand over the money or I’ll-“
“Daddy! Can we go for ice cream?”
suggestions:
I have no suggestions there were no mistakes.
In conclusion:
Thank you for sharing You keep writing and I'll keep reading, God Bless You.
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