I am doing this review as a judge for "
Invalid Item"

. Do not make any changes to your story until the contest results are announced.
Overall impression: This is a story of horror. There is not a scare factor. It is more of a revelation of what happened. The idea is developed well.
Characterization: Carlie tells the story. Her character is sympathetic and pulls the reader into the story. Each character plays a part that adds to the whole of the story. The interaction between characters is well done.
Dialogue: Good dialogue. It moves the story forward.
Twists and turns: The revelation about Carlie is a good twist.
Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions.
notes ▼
mused, “Have - mused. “Have - or - mused, “have
eyebrows, - eyebrows.
moon and - moon, and
table, - table.
true, that’s - true; that’s
close, - close.
snapped and - snapped, and
his wrists slit - slit his wrists
deaths; taking - deaths, taking
going, - going.
eyes and - eyes, and
grinned, - grinned.
better,” - better.”
view and - view, and
place and - place, and
alone,” - alone.”
you,” she - you.” She
anymore and - anymore, and
down and - down, and
coming,” - coming.”
“It’s important - “it’s important
gag and - gag, and
that,” - that.”
stammered, - stammered.
cut and - cut, and
hurt and - hurt, and
mouthed and - mouthed, and
see, she - see; she
tent, why - tent; why
rage and - rage, and
horror, - horror.
hers, - hers.
he reached - He reached
time and - time, and
him,” - him.”
he rose - He rose
memory and - memory, and
fingers and - fingers, and
deaths except - deaths, except
When you have a chance stop by "
Invalid Item"

Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of
pinkbarbie and Paul.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"
.