%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4091439 |
 | When Dreams Stick  [18+] Writer's Cramp Entry  |
| (4.5)  Hi Puddle Diver !Why I Meandered Into Your Port to Read Your Item   I was looking in "The Writer's Cramp" and found your story. I often look in Writer's Cramp and find interesting reading. I think eventually all the best writers on the site (the ones I enjoy reading, anyway) try their hands at the cramp prompts. I like that it is fresh writing every day, too.What I Thought About As I Perused Your Item and Readjusted My Nose Ring  The first thing I typically look at is the title and how it relates to the story or poem. your title certainly conveys the message that the way dreams linger on may not be pleasant or wonderful. It gives the reader a proper warning of what is to come.At first I was thinking Alice was young - a child really. Soon, your story makes it clear that in some ways she is stuck in childhood, but in other more dangerous ways she is an adult. I was wondering how she came across such a kindred soul as "Danny", then I realized that "Danny" could possibly be another personality within Alice. I wasn't sure about that, but I'm not sure that it matters. When he texts her at the end, I am thinking he's definitely another person. I wondered about the significance of the nickname of "puppy". He seems to hardly have the innocent nature that one might associate with a puppy dog. Maybe, it is because he is obedient and eager to please. What I liked best when I grazed in your pasture and did I swish my tail?  I like the way you incorporated the prompt quotation and interspersed the lines throughout. It was very chilling in contrast to what was happening.Alice not wanting to be touched added another element of suspense and wondering what specifically was done to her. Leaving it to the reader's imagination is very effective! You spelled just enough of it out with regard to Aunt Janet for the reader to get the picture of some very dark childhood days, indeed. Nice work for The Writer's Cramp!  DISCLAIMERI am not an expert on poetry or prose. I am merely a reader who loves to read. I am also a bull, so you might want to take that into consideration also. This is my honest opinion as an individual reader on a given day. I do not run with the herd. END OF DISCLAIMER  "Avoiding Toothless Rabid Bullies & Such"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/02/2015 @ 3:13pm EST