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Review #4093729
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Review by Charlie ~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (3.0)
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Hello Sleeping Forest Author Icon. My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
You weren't lying about the hate and revenge! That came through loud and clear in this poem. *Thumbsup* I mean, face it, we've all felt like this at some point or another about someone. We've been wronged and we're sure to exact our revenge, because who takes the high road, honestly? *Laugh* The good news is that the tone of the poem definitely came across clearly. Even if we didn't have the description to use for guidance, we would know what this one is on about.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
What I liked in this one is how clearly the tone came across. There was clearly a lot of emotion that went into it and it feels good to release that anger through a poem. I liked the repetition of "welcome to the end" in the poem. That line is said with a lot of confidence, as though the narrator knows that their plan is going to go off without a hitch. It seems like something that would be said at the moment of vengeance.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
The lines are so short in this piece that, coupled with the punctuation, I feel like I'm pausing so often that it throws the flow. I'm legit pausing at every comma and dash because that's what the punctuation is telling me to do it. I would suggest making each line longer so that we can get a full idea out before going to a new one. Having only two words per line doesn't seem to work well for this piece. There's also a typo in the line, "Ask my why again" where my should be me.

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
I think you did great with building the emotion throughout the poem. It's clear to see all that went into the poem. I would suggest playing around with the formatting so that it flows better. Thanks for sharing!


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