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 Review #4093893 |
 | War of the Sages  [E] Nyx wants 2 plunge the world in eternal darkness.Can the Sages stop Nyx before its 2 late?  |
| (3.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  I liked that you started this with a bit of backstory. I often find it difficult to read fantasy stories because I seem to be missing the key to the world the author created, but that wasn't the case here as you did exactly that with this prologue. Before jumping into the action, you introduced the main characters and gave the readers a bit of background about them. Perhaps there could have been a little more description, for example in the paragraph where you named all the sages it might have been a good idea to expand a little on each and say a bit more about them. As it is, it reads a little like a list and readers are likely to be confused by the end of it which one was which. If you took a bit more time to describe each one, they might stick in the readers' minds a bit more. The rest of the story was pretty clear and well described, although you didn't go into the details what caused Shade to start this war. His goal, to plunge earth into eternal darkness, was clear enough but his motives were a little vague. When the other sages prepared for the final battle, sacrificing their lives (or 3000 years of it) to defeat him, the readers got an idea where this story might be heading, and although you didn't say it, I would expect the story to pick up with the war between the good and the evil Sages continuing. Towards the end, there were a few typos that you could easily find using spellcheck. Also, you might want to check capitalisations especially for proper names like Shade and the first-person pronoun "I". You have an interesting beginning here and I found it especially intriguing to imagine how this war that has so far only been fought by the sages could be transferred into the world the readers are more familiar with, although you didn't say that that's what you were planning to do. I think if you spent some time to edit the details and included a bit more description of the sages, you might find that they would become more rounded characters and the readers could relate to them a little better.   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/10/2015 @ 5:29pm EDT