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Review #4096327
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Part of me expected a hint at something sinister going on at the end. Perhaps the narrator would shoot a quick look at the children and see their black eyes, or something along those lines. I guess it is a sign of good storytelling that my imagination ran away with me and I expected to see things that weren't even there. *Laugh*

The descriptions at the beginning were excellent. Having been in the situation where I was tired and driving late at night, I could imagine the scene well and the way you described the narrator's fatigue seemed very realistic. I also thought that the transition between her being sleepy one moment and wide awake the next when she thought she heard and saw something was nicely done. It all added to the disturbing atmosphere and the readers were likely to feel her fear and jump when she did.

You didn't say what actually happened to her and the way you left it, it seemed that it was all in her mind. Again, it wasn't clear why she would have such horrific visions and it left the readers wondering at the end. Her reaction when she was sitting in the car worked well although I would probably suggest doing away with the sentences in all-caps as the dialogue tags, the exclamation marks and the words she was screaming were enough to make her distress clear.

But that is just a minor complaint. Overall, I thought the story was quite chilling and you did a good job frightening the life out of your readers. *Bigsmile*


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