\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4096356
Review #4096356
Viewing a review of:
 A Very Strange Guest Open in new Window. [E]
Its Halloween and a very strange guest appears on a late night talk show.
by Brandi Author Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


It's not easy to tell a story entirely through dialogue without any tags, but you did a good job with that. The exchange was easy to follow and after you introduced the speakers in the first few lines, there was never any doubt who was saying what. I would have liked to see a bit more background at the beginning about how the strange guest got invited to the show to begin with since the host didn't seem to know whom he was expecting, but that's just a minor detail which can perhaps be explained by the fact that it took place on Halloween.

The way the guest turned into a zombie was unusual, as was the fact that him biting other people didn't seem to cause the expected zombie apocalypse that usually follows in this kind of story. But he wasn't a typical zombie since he could talk so I suppose it was just a way of doing something different with this story that would take the readers by surprise.

The humorous lines worked quite well because the guest delivered them matter-of-factly, and especially his pragmatic approach to fixing the problems he was faced with, like losing body parts or smelling of decay, were nicely done.

If you are looking to edit this story, you might want to take a look at the punctuation. There were a few instances where you began a sentence with a direct address or an introductory phrase or word but didn't set it off with a comma, for example in this line,

Tommy am I safe.

You also need a question mark at the end instead of a period.

I liked that you took a familiar idea and gave it an unusual and amusing spin, not only by making the zombie different but also by having him appear in a chat show. Overall this was quite an intriguing story. *Smile*


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4096356