\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4146950
Review #4146950
Viewing a review of:
 Money, Guns, and Lawyers Chapter 1 Open in new Window. [GC]
A novel of family, crime and great big dogs
by Alex Silver Author Icon
Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: GC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Alex!


Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome WagonOpen in new Window.! *BalloonR*


This was an awesome read! Your writing style is easy and relaxed. Engrossing and engaging. It seemed that I had just started reading when this chapter ended.

You excel at description. Showing a scene or a mood. *Checkg*

I liked the different ways you found to say unpleasant things, without actually saying them, as observed through the narrator. I tried to find his/her name in one of the conversation threads, but if there is a name, I missed it.

There's enough characters in here to confuse a reader, but you introduced them in such a way that I immediately felt comfortable with them, maybe even had a few friends similar to them. Each character had a role.

Josh, and the way he was driving, kind of reminded me of my son. He has a fine temper and a heavy foot. Yesterday, I thought surely he was going to get us all killed with his weaving in that heavy duty truck of his. It's not always easy to get him to back down.

True, he doesn't swear like Josh, but I really liked how Josh used that particular word as part of his vocabulary. The effect was humorous, not vulgar.

My favorite part was "Then Greg woke up--"
Chaos was already reigning in that car, so that sentence cracked me up. Nice job!

I found a few pesky typos, no big deal, easy to fix. You've got quite a story brewing here. Keep up the good work!

*Idea*Since you've written a few more chapters, you can link them at the end of each using the bitem format. That way, it's easy for the reader to click and continue reading.


Animated Simply Positive Moon Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4146950