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 Review #4146973 |
| Hi Jane! Welcome to WDC from  "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  ! I'll admit to being oddly attracted to all things military. I fell for the helicopter cover art and the intriguing brief description. Every scene you described was easily visualized. I could see the action unfolding in my mind, and sometimes anticipated the next event. I liked your varied sentence structure and sentence length. It kept the story flowing, making the reading experience as natural as my telling someone a story, or even watching this unfold on television. The narrator is so sure of herself, each move obviously rehearsed countless times. Of course she'd be pumped up, but somehow, showing her hands shaking from the effects of adrenaline surprised me. She was so calm and cool as she moved through the scene. At first, I wasn't positive the final scene was part of the drill. That would have been a twist! But since her classmates were waiting with high-fives, I had to go with this last bit as part of the test. Now, maybe I was wrong when I proclaimed military. Because the word 'classmates' made me wonder if this was a story about a self-defense group. Then, I thought back to the helicopter, and decide military. Maybe that one word could be changed? 'Teammates' perhaps? Unit? Just an observation to be ignored if this doesn't work for you. You excel at writing action scenes. That's an impressive skill.   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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