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Review #4177973
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Mommy Dearest  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hello Stephanie Ferguson

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in August-September-October [ASR] and also connecting the review to a group I sometimes review with, "The Rockin' Reviewers [13+]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

The title is sufficient and works in relation to the contest, character and bit of conflict involved in the story. The description could use a little more detail to catch the reader's attention but the title is a good choice.

Initial Reaction:
I do get the impression that this is a small piece of something larger, though already knowing the contest and prompt before reading might have played a small factor in that aspect. Though I can also say that the main character, who is supposed to be an antagonist, does come off well as a bit of a protagonist when doing the angle through her point of view. We get a little of what makes her more of an antagonist but also a hint of some things that were conflicts of her that might make someone more curious to hear her side of things, even though word count and situation don't allow for such at this time.

Character Development:
We do get a little bit of the character development as this focuses in large part on the mind set of the one character in question and her trying to influence her daughter's decision. The only slight downside to the short piece is that it does bring up some questions in the readers mind, like the reference to being more wild, that never get answered. It's not a bad thing, just something that I noticed and is hard to avoid in the short word count requirements of the contest. The prompt also could lean that way, depending on the approach the story and character took. This one is very much a mental view, showing us aspects of the mother and leaves room for some questions that may never get answered since the general story is about the daughter, I would guess considering the prompt.

Overall, it worked even though the conflict isn't something that might seem major or world changing. It's a very personal aspect, dealing with some aspects of her daughter and the struggles that are both internal and external. The end gives a sad twist with the very last line. That was a good choice and not always easy to pull off, getting the wording to work a certain way when writing the end of the story.

Other Notes and/or Suggestions:
Not much to offer in the technical side of the story. When it comes to the prompt, it's simple enough in that you needed to take the protagonist of your story and write form their point of view. It's not always going to be a Darth Vader or Wicked Witch of the West, as the one you chose is realistic and still interesting for a reader.

Good luck with the contest as it's a challenging one and not easy to place in (also not easy to judge as I've done so before even though I'm not on the list for the current round).

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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