Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

Catie, your parents must talk about responsibility a lot to you. I can see it in the way our wrote your story. I hope you understand that I am a mother of an eight year old and ten year old so I'm an expert at spotting these kinds of conversations. I love that Emma didn't mess with the witch and went to find a genie. She is a very smart little princess.


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

It's definitely on the right track. I wonder if you would revise it now that you're a little older and wiser.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

It's a story of a princess who wants to be turned into a fairy and finds a genie to help her. Her parents must love the genie because it told her that she had to complete two chores to turn into a fairy.


Glows:

You put quotation marks around your dialog, that's an advanced step for a nine year old. Your ideas are creative and awesome: skipping the witch and going straight to the genie, using kindness to influence the genie, completing chores to turn into a fairy. I wish that could really happen!



Grows:

I'm going to recommend breaking the story into paragraphs and using spell check. Some grammar and spelling mistakes are fine, we all make them but this piece has quite a few. I understand that not everyone is the best speller and it's more about the idea of the piece but in this case, I think proofreading would really be good for it.

Numbers less than 100 are spelled out, I think.



Miscellaneous Comments:

I'm glad there is a parent disclaimer here, I figured by the writing that it the author was younger. Catie, I commend your efforts and as long as you stay this passionate and creative, your writing skills will blossom. I don't teach writing but I am a teacher and am so encouraged and humbled to read your writing. She has to be closer to 11 now so I wonder if she would be willing to revise it. Proofreading and editing is such an integral part to writing.

I'm actually going to give you a lower rating and invite you to edit it now that you're older. I would love to reread it for corrections.

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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .