Title of Work: : Interruption
Author of Work: : QPdoll - of House Stark
Date: : July 21

Plot:
Mom and Dad are trying to have an intimate moment.

Scene/Setting:
Brian enters the house and watches Julie carry a basket of clothes to the bedroom. He follows her. He can't take his eyes off of her backside as she makes the bed. He decides he can't wait to have his hands on her. It only takes a moment for Julie to turn into his arms and want anything he wants to give her. They start to peel each other's clothes off. Julie suggests they should lock the bedroom door, before one of the children decide to come into the house and catch them. Brian does not want to take the time. As their feelings build they are interrupted by one of the children coming in and calling his father. Quickly the separate. Brian takes the time to tell Julie it is going to be hard to wait until the children's bedtimes. Julie grabs her clothes and heads for the bathroom. Brian locks the door and then starts to get dressed. Eventually Brian opens the door and talks with his son as if nothing had almost happened.

Characters:
Brian
Julie
Child

Suggestions:
This is every parent's nightmare I think. You have one small glitch. You are talking in first person omnificent, but change here..."... their oldest child came through the garage door into the kitchen and yelled for Brian." It sounds like you are switching to the First Person of Julie. I think it would sound better if you said, ".... and yelled, "Dad, where are you?" or something to that effect. Hope this makes sense. It was a well written piece.

Character Count: 1,393 (tags = 173 Characters above this point)
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