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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4304680
Review #4304680
Viewing a review of:
See You in the Morning, Mom!  [E]
The loss of my loving mother to her body's death is both painful and reassuring.
by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hey, Jay O'Toole . I am here to review your item on behalf of I Write group.Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

The poem captures the pain of loss quite well. I could feel the mother had enjoyed her life and was worried about passing away. I could even feel the pain in the reassurances you gave. It is quite an emotional poem.


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Language, grammar and form

I stumbled at some of the words, and I think that is because I am not Christian and you are referring to some religious books/stories. Yet I do think you need to take a look at the following sentences:
i) Our efforts need not grope. : I don't think the grope is the right word here. That sentence came out quite weird while reading.

ii)our separation mend. : I think there is a helping verb missing here. You might need to crosscheck it with the previous sentence.


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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I loved how you captured the emotion in the poem. It is well-done.


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Other thoughts and suggestions

If this poem is true, I hope your mother is at peace now, wherever she is. Thanks for sharing this piece with us.


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