A well written item and romantic script. I was drawn to the story when I was looking for something to read. The words have real life feelings and the story is told in a subject of a love tangle between three people, and as I read I was drawn into the story and it was real. Perhaps it's a chapter in your life, and it kept my interest all the way to the end.

You built your storyline in a detailed scripted
design and showed your readers the imagery and the characters and how they fitted into the criteria of the story line. you have structured your item well.
I found no errors in the story but I'm no expert on punctuation and strongly advise you reproof read your item. I have no need to suggest changes .
I have no preference to a special line as I liked all of the story. Good luck with this item whether it's a contest or just a story prompt. Overall impression,. A well written item that has good imagery and a joy to read.
Mary Ann MCPhedran, a member of reviewing with River.















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .