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 Review #4466087 |
Full Disclosure  [18+] A young couple finds their dream home- Grim Blunt Trauma Contest  |
| (4.0)| Hello, lollycrow. Greeting from "The Grim Reaper Contest - Closed" . I'm the Judge, Fictiøn Ðiva the Wørd Weava. I like to use How do I judge Flash Fiction ▼ as an guidelines.       Character: The Evans couple (Mrs. Kendra and Mr. Weston), her sister, Christa Jones, the neighbor woman, the police officer, the old timers of the village, family, friends, and home care workers seem real to me. -   However, there was seven characters in your Horror Flash Fiction. Point of View: You had Third Person Point of View. -  Scene: Your Horror Flash Fiction had three scenes. - Strong Words: I saw eighteen adjectives and/or adverbs. - Plot: A wealthy, young couple soon learned that the house came to life, but Christa and the old timers of the village knew about the house all along. - Grammar and Spelling: Didn't see no run-on sentences and misspellings. - However, I suggest the following, please: Red color is incorrect and blue color is correct. Paragraph 3 - "We're not actually living in the 1800's, fool", Christa thought. Instantly, guilt washed over her. Paragraph 5, in line 2 and Line 3 - This house is very well known for its place in history. In fact, it was a young couple, Paragraph 9, in line 1 - "Oh, yeah, gossip spreads like fungus around here. Paragraph 10 - "You're totally going to hell," she hissed to herself. Paragraph 14, in line 1 - Kendra Evans' sister, Margot, would file a police report because she was concerned about the deteriorating nature of her sister's marriage and her behavior. Paragraph 16, in line 3 - When a concerned neighbor woman stopped her to ask if she was okay, Kendra looked at her blankly and uttered: "They have to go in pieces. They have to go everywhere or they'll come back every time. He'll come and take your head to display in his trophy cabinet,", Paragraph 20, in line 1 - Roughly, 3three years after the sale of the house to the Evans couple, Christa Jones saw the article in the paper. Format: Your Horror Flash Fiction was easy to read with blank lines between paragraphs. - Thank you for sharing your Horror Flash Fiction with me. FD/Comateta (Co-ma-tea-ta)
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You responded to this review 02/01/2019 @ 6:49pm EST