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Review #4469268
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Stupid Cupid  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello there, Jay!
Well, for only your 2nd 'dialogue only' story, this isn't bad.
Love certainly is a very confusing thing, and having this little kid flying around in diapers and shooting arrows at us isn't helping the situation any! *Laugh*
Seriously though, I like the way you wrote this, and it's true: people, like myself, do set our standards too high waiting around for the just right one to come along. And while that 'right one' might never show up, we end up losing a lot of other great 'candidates' in the process, and by then it's too late! *Sad*
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a few tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky-I noticed that English isn't your 1st language, so I'm trying to help you out a little here):
“Oh(,) have you met them?”
"...aim to anyone near..." (at)
"...so I just sit at somewhere comfortable..." (don't need that)
"...people depend so much on fate and luck that sometimes they waste so much time and energy waiting for right one to come (along)." (this is kind of an awkward sentence, but I understand what you're saying. Perhaps change it to 'sometimes they waste too much time and energy...'? Just a suggestion)
"They set very high standards(,) like children..."
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jay, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing NewbiesOpen in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community, if you haven’t already.


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