Hey hoodie, how's it going?

No hating, just constructive feedback if you want it. Hopefully it will be helpful, if it isn't or If you don't agree with what I give you feel free to tell me to f*** off.

So I don't know if you just wanted to put together a scenario and put it out there for preliminary thoughts from others, bringing up grammar may not be helpful to you. Keep in mind though, it's important to write so that it's easy for your readers to understand the pacing and the transitions from event to event or from thought to thought. For instance:

during gym we were outside and I being the outcast was sitting in the forest near the football field and was thinking "I wish I was in a relationship" then I hears someone else in the forest knowing it was my bullies I hide...etc

It's a sentence run amok, so it's kind of hard to put together this introduction in relation to what the action will be...

We were outside during gym, and I, being the outcast, was sitting in the forest near the football field.

I was thinking "I wish I was in a relationship" when I heard someone else in the forest. Knowing it was my bullies, I hide...etc

Capitalization and punctuation and all those mechanics that go into communicating with an audience is super important if you want to make them stick around till the end, I'd go back through and spell check/grammar check.

I'm guessing this was for a contest or something. If you had to stay under 300 words I know it's hard to pack imagery and emotion into those constraints, but it can be done. That said, it would be nice to show what you were feeling when you were thinking about your loneliness, or when the bullies showed up. Put your reader on the ground next to you, show them the emotional tone of what you're trying to communicate.

I'm sure you probably get the idea. With some trimming and some imagery, your reader will come with you into those woods, feeling the terror of being hunted, and feeling the butterflies of first meeting someone you like.

Thanks for the read, if you have any questions feel free to ask...

-TPB

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .