First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
Title
Great title for this piece! I've always been curious about things like this...
My First Impression
Fascinating! This is very cool, indeed. I could practically see the atoms and stardust vibrating and spinning, creating this mirage. Very clever piece!
Punctuation/Grammar/Typos I have no suggestions at all! Your consistency of no punctuation whatsoever, works perfectly.
Other Suggestions Absolutely not!
Thoughts/Emotions I love this!!! I'm still seeing shimmering particals in my mind! I've been curious about this quantom thing for quite some time, but never persued it. It's sounds so very fascinating.
My favorite lines... a traffic jam
of
stardust.
Nicely written! Great piece!
Have a great day and
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
~Cubby ")
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