Hiya Ken. Look who popped up on the Read and Review and of, course, I could not resist Irish Lore!
Oh Wow! I was so entertained by this imaginative tale and how you combine myth and sci fi elements. I had to smile when the earthling combined the two names, creating "Leprechaun" and burst out laugh when I got to the "sham rock". Clever and brilliant play with words!
And the idea that a son of Eren would recognize it made total sense.
The descriptions of the landscape, hiding place and battle were vivid and the unique idea of some alien beings observing hooked me in. I wasn't expecting it. LOL The ending truly presented an original interpretation of the legend of leprechauns and gold.
It made sense to that the Irish man would have to tell the tale!
The story flowed in a coherent fashion with a consistent narration and useful engaging dialogue. The scenes of battle, aftermath and the futuristic medical scene were woven neatly and the characters were defined enough to give us a sense of their character, and feelings. Kahn's compassion and his fear of not doing the right thing according to his commander was well illustrated.
I guess he never thought of the consequences if the soldier did not keep his secret. LOL
A couple of glitches maybe:
In this line "seemed to slow... turned, seemingly staring into Kahnh's eyes." the two 'seem" words put me out a bit. You used it again earlier in the same paragraph.
Also, "voice seemed right next to his ear"... was it or not. I assume it would be if he was on a com.
What does "positively glowing" look like. I know the idea is that he is now glowing bright due to emotional state. Do you need the adverb? or what colour was he glowing?
I was totally engaged in your story telling and appreciate how you referenced some historical and mythical material. Your muse was dreaming overtime on this stellar invention!
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! Write on and enjoy the party!
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