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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4501446
Review #4501446
Viewing a review of:
Tuatha Dé Danann  [13+]
A story from the beginnings of Ireland about the birth of legends.
by 🌓 HuntersMoon
Review of Tuatha Dé Danann  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Balloonp*Hiya Ken. Look who popped up on the Read and Review and of, course, I could not resist Irish Lore! *Shamrock*


*Shamrock* *Laugh* Oh Wow! I was so entertained by this imaginative tale and how you combine myth and sci fi elements. I had to smile when the earthling combined the two names, creating "Leprechaun" and burst out laugh when I got to the "sham rock". Clever and brilliant play with words! *Salute* And the idea that a son of Eren would recognize it made total sense.

*Shamrock*The descriptions of the landscape, hiding place and battle were vivid and the unique idea of some alien beings observing hooked me in. I wasn't expecting it. LOL The ending truly presented an original interpretation of the legend of leprechauns and gold. *Star* It made sense to that the Irish man would have to tell the tale!

*Shamrock* The story flowed in a coherent fashion with a consistent narration and useful engaging dialogue. The scenes of battle, aftermath and the futuristic medical scene were woven neatly and the characters were defined enough to give us a sense of their character, and feelings. Kahn's compassion and his fear of not doing the right thing according to his commander was well illustrated. *Thumbsup* I guess he never thought of the consequences if the soldier did not keep his secret. LOL

*Quill* A couple of glitches maybe:
In this line "seemed to slow... turned, seemingly staring into Kahnh's eyes." the two 'seem" words put me out a bit. You used it again earlier in the same paragraph.
Also, "voice seemed right next to his ear"... was it or not. I assume it would be if he was on a com. *Wink*

What does "positively glowing" look like. I know the idea is that he is now glowing bright due to emotional state. Do you need the adverb? or what colour was he glowing?

*Martian*I was totally engaged in your story telling and appreciate how you referenced some historical and mythical material. Your muse was dreaming overtime on this stellar invention! *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! Write on and enjoy the party! *Cake2*

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