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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4506874
Review #4506874
Viewing a review of:
 
Power to the Powerful!  [E]
A humiliated young tough is tutored in the art of power mongering by a mysterious stranger
by Con
Review by Steven
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
You asked for a review.

Technically, it is as close to perfect as it is possible to be, I think, considering the limits of the online process.

Story-wise, it is well-written, with a flowing style.

However, some of the religious speechifying in the middle by Beazley felt a lot like a diatribe and pulled me out of the story. The concept of offering Adam some sort of hope for revenge was lost in the philosophy and history. And the ending felt too convenient. While I understand the limits of the short story format, I think a little less could have been made of the religious explanation and the ending could have been extended to show (as opposed to telling) the transformation that came over him, or at least his way of being the person he was.

I did like the fact that this Adam character was not going to really change his attitude, just the way he went about things - there is no redemption, not really - which is something different and not done anywhere near enough in horror/fantasy.

Overall, however, I did like the story on the whole.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/01/2019 @ 7:26am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4506874