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Review #4514797
Viewing a review of:
 Joe's Open in new Window. [E]
241 words. Entry for a Flash Fiction contest.
by J.C. Pickens Author Icon
Review of Joe's  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, J.C. Pickens!
This isn't bad for your first piece on here. It kind of hits home because I'm from a small town (currently living in large city, and not liking it! *Angry*), so I know all about small-town bars. But we didn't take too kindly from city folk wandering into our water holes!
I like where this was going with the stranger wondering what was up with all of Joe's customers, but we never find out, and it doesn't really have an ending. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with ambiguous endings, but I wish you could have squeezed a little more information into this to give us at least something to go on. You still had 59 words to use.
Course that's just my own humble opinion, for what that's worth!
Great spelling (thank you!) and telling, but I did spot a couple of typos:
"Hey, you see that guy over there?" The man whispered to Joe. (the)
"Not that!" The man snapped. (the - these are speech tag niggles - if you want more info, check out the link below)
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, J.C., good luck in the contest, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

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