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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4530965
Review #4530965
Viewing a review of:
The Domino Effect  [13+]
Written for the Trollop and the Cad contest.
by Jezri
Review of The Domino Effect  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An interesting story with some enjoyable twists and turns. I enjoyed it, having worked in a corporate setting at one time I identify with the "office gossip" concept you used.

The story is faced pace and concise, and well written. The word count that is an inherent part of almost every contest doesn't affect the readability of the story. It does impact the character development somewhat, what we do learn about the characters we glean from passing references and quick asides. We also don't learn much about the setting. In both cases we're given just enough to propel the story, which works, but I'm a detail hog and would have liked more.

Mechanically, I saw only one little typo;

inseperable should be spelled inseparable

The use of the "newscaster" was a great way to move the story along! I very much liked the twist at the end. I would have liked to see a bit more in the way of character development. I didn't really feel good or bad about any of the characters, but something always has to sacrificed to word counts.

Thanks for sharing this great story!

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