Hi Marlon! Mia here. I am reviewing this after you sent in a request. I come in peace
I found this poem rather interesting. I wonder who it was addressing, if anyone particular. I wonder if something happened that caused this poem. But nevertheless, I did like the work. It was a perspective I hadn’t quite seen yet and that’s always appreciated.
I only really see punctuation errors, but not anything bad. Just small things. I don’t know what it was about this poem but the flow of it seemed off. It just seemed like something was missing. It might just be me, but oh well.
Frozen, are the times shared.
Memories replay again and again.
My life since, never the same.
Unknowingly you cast a spell.
Hypnotized with your smile,
In your world I now dwell,
No escaping your frozen isle.
This just needed punctuation and “magic” to be lowercases, which is why I made it bold.
Frozen, at the Broadway Show.
You, an angel dressed in white;
Sophisticated, elegant, Oh
how you glow.
Most beautiful lady there that night.
Awed by the exciting tide,
into the magical show;
You grab hold of
my hand, electrified,
As Elsa sang, “Let It Go, Let It Go.”
Remember not to miss out on punctuation. I added the bold parts because it seemed like the sentence wasn’t completely correct. And the second was just to highlight that it needed to be lowercase.
Frozen, the many times we kissed
Mesmerized me with bliss;
Feel of ecstasy truly missed,
Treasured moments to reminisce.
Beauty of many colors and shades,
Forever Imprinted on my mind.
True beauty never fades.
Frozen, until end of time.
As you can see, the last stanza needs punctuation. It is hard to read if it’s just one continuous work, or at least it is to me.
I liked it! It was a good poem and it brought up great imagery. Keep writing! You’re good