Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4545995
Review #4545995
Viewing a review of:
 Romance, Beneath The Brooklyn Bridge   [E]
Inspired by two lovers taking a stroll On Boardwalk below the Brooklyn Bridge
by Marlon Dacosta
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Marlon! Mia here. I’m responding from you sending in a review request. I come in peace *BigSmile*

First Impression:

I loved how you wove the love between the two so eloquently. It really spoke volumes and I could easily visualize what was happening, which was a definite plus for me.

I would say just punctuation. There are a few places where you need a semicolon instead of a comma, so it breaks up the poem and makes it smoother. An example of that would be the second stanza:

Walking along the boardwalk,
Your warmth caressed my being,

After being, you need a period.

Overall Impression:
I really liked this. Usually I wouldn’t review romance, but this was good. I hope this review was helpful and as always, keep writing. I can’t wait to read more *Smile*
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/26/2020 @ 6:43pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4545995