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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4547359
Review #4547359
Viewing a review of:
 Heart Over Head  [13+]
i just finished writing this story. hopefully it's better than the one I wrote last year!
by Storm Grey
Review of Heart Over Head  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


Dear Storm Grey – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "Heart Over Head and thought I would give your story a bit of a review.

 
*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Can a person truly hate love? Is it possible that the feelings, emotions, bio-physical reactions that pass for love in a society that embraces so much hate, are nothing more than false alarms about things a damaged heart and soul should not care about? If so then why do circumstances keep pushing humans together to become more needier of the other, more compassionate about others and even more sweetly adoring of others? The author writes clearly and passionately about a journey of a heroine who is convinced that love is the death of all things and before proving she is right, discovers other, incomprehensible truths about love
 
*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Hattie hates love. She finds solace in places where coffee is sold (mmmm…I like that) where she can watch people and “scribble” in a journal about the misery of life where love is touted as the be all and end all to a blissful life. In the middle of her endless pursuit of justifying her lone existence she meets Emme who immediately challenges Hattie’s perceptions about love. 

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
The story is told in a first person narrative style from the protagonist’s point of view. The balance between narrative, dialogue, scene setting and plot management is well done generating a continual draw to keep reading the story. 

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
Each character, and scene sequence truly kept my interest and this was one of my favorite moments:

Why did she even sit next to me in the first place! If she hadn't, I wouldn't be here, but at home in my room waiting for Mom to come home. So maybe this situation I'm in is better than the one I would be in if I was at home. But so what!? I'm losing my mind in a bathroom where right outside is a beautiful girl. Could this get any worse? Oh wait, it already has. We're SNOWED in.

 
Up to this point in the story, I am starting to like Hattie. To me she is easy to relate to. How many times does one give up on love? And why isn’t it always the end of things? Clean with not regrets? It is all part of the human drama and has made song writers wealthy for centuries. But then, someone with tenacity comes across all barriers and POW! We’re snowed in with them, (in my case riding home from school on a bus with them) and then, I don’t know….charm, humor, beauty, chemistry…what…suddenly love doesn’t seem so bad anymore.
 
*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I was completely charmed by your story. Good intro, good close. I’m thinking all this story needs is a bit of polish to be market ready.

*Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY
 
"Heart Over Head challenges the reader to recall the rocks we found our relationships broken on and to relate to a young woman who is determined to chronicle her downward spiral into a loveless life. Before she gets to the point of renting a small apartment in which to dwell with an ever increasing number of cats, she meets a major interruption. They begin their conversation where many people often end theirs and their relationship. Why is love so desperately hard? Thank you for sharing your gift. Write On! *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

♫~ Kenword~♫
*MugR*
 


Reviewer For Paper Doll Gang




(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313) 04/10/2020



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/04/2020 @ 1:01pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4547359