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Review #4625066
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Welcome to WdC! I'm so impressed that you've been here such a short time and your CRs (Community Recognition--the number by your name) are already 11! Wow! Good for you!

This is such a lovely note to your brother. I love it! *Heart* Your brother is lucky to have a sister like you. *Smile*

I do have a few suggestions and/or corrections. But don't take them too hard. Your piece is lovely and these are just my thoughts.

Suggestion: For the genre, you listed Emotional, Relationship, and Other. I'd consider changing Other to Family or Inspirational. There are 2 main reasons to not have Other (or Contest Entry) as your genre. 1. If someone is searching for something to read, if they search by genre, they obviously aren't going to find your item if you just list Other. *Wink* 2. We have an award activity here called "The Quill Awards. If someone nominated your item for a Quill award (like our version of the Oscars), then it would also be entered into the different genre categories. If you just list Other (or Contest Entry), you are missing the opportunity to be entered in one of the genre categories for another chance to win a Quill. *Wink*

Suggestion: While the colors are fun, you left the comma out of the top address's color. But you included the period in the ending one at the bottom. *Wink* I'd just recommend slipping the comma into the color ML code so it's pink as well. *Smile*

Suggestion: Typically we would expect to see a blank space between the address and the main part of the note as well as between paragraphs, which I think the last line is a separate paragraph. Though it is possible that because you are not in America that this is simply an American convention or even English if English isn't your native language. It may not be incorrect in your country. I'd suggest including blank spaces.

Correction: Mentor should not be capitalized here.

I really love that opening sentence! It gives us a sense of what your brother means to you and how much he has impacted you! Wonderful opening here! *Heart*

Suggestion: You said, "I am like your elder sister." I find this line confusing. It means you are not really his elder sister, so I am wondering what the meaning of it is. If you said "I am like your younger sister," then I would know that you are the elder sister, but because he helps and guides you so much, it is like he is the older sibling when really you are. But if you are like the elder sister, I don't get it. The elder sister would be the one to give advice and such, but he is doing that for you. I find this part confusing. I don't know who is older or why you are like the elder sister if he's doing so much for you. Maybe you meant to say you are like the younger sister?

It's nice that you include your age so we have some frame of reference. Excellent idea!

My favorite part is "I respect your passion and knowledge. I learn a lot from you. Please, remain as it is forever." It gives us a sense of why he means so much to you and the idea of some desperation for this to never change. Very nicely done!

Suggestion: You said, "I pray for you to God." This seems a bit awkward to me. I think it would sound more natural if you said, "I pray to God for you." I'm not sure if this is a direct translation from another language or if it just sounded more natural to you than it does to me. *Wink*

Correction: "I hope, his blessings make your way hurdle free and you shall be able to reach your cherished goal." There needs to be a hyphen in "hurdle-free." But I love that sentiment! *HappyCry* What a sweet thing to say to your brother! *Heart*

What a wonderful note to your brother! I hope you actually gave it to him. It's so sweet and I know it would mean so much to him! *Heart* You are a wonderful sister to have so much appreciation and admiration for him. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have a sister like you! *Hug*

Keep on writing! You have some very passionate thoughts to share! Don't let me long list of corrections and suggestions deter you. Your heart shows through in your writing and that is what is most important! *Heart*

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/21/2021 @ 11:35pm EDT
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